Regarding someone eager to read a recent book by Allison Drew called Searching for My Missing Father…I will post a letter or two after I read it. First it really might make sense to learn the facts as I share them in these few posts I wrote today and in some from over the years on Livfully.org and in the papers from me, Catherine Palmer Paton….and then consider her attempts to find fault with the story. A lot of good had come from her questioning everything but it could have been done more as an intellectual exercise in terms of him not leaving the home as I described.
That Bigger Question is what happened After he left the home. No one wants to really dig deep and consider that could be linked to #1 Being Outdoors,
#2 Getting Lost
#3 Getting hurt by an animal (beast or rattle snake etc yet not found all the same, or eaten by yet another animal if injured or passing from exhaustion or heart attack which stress can bring on if in a fragile condition..) and
#4 Someone hitting him on the road with a car and not knowing it or covering that up or taking him or
#5 Someone picking him up and taking him somewhere and not being from the area and not realizing things (maybe someone who was drunk or had dementia too…or other challenges)
#6 Someone picking him up and holding him somewhere or ending his life. Many of those things could happen to anyone, so that’s something to try to prevent by being in safe areas, with people knowing where one is going basically all day, everyday with text, a note, a call or other routines with safety built in as much as possible. It’s getting late so I’ll wrap this up but have spent a few hours on this today…Tomorrow is another day, hopefully one to grow wiser with.
Maybe we can get Maria Horn and Brian Ohler to consider this before or after the election to Think Safety and have their people review a few points here (and yes, on my blog Livfully.org/wordpressblog) to issue some insights and even extend a word of concern to the Drew Sisters…and the caregivers should they deem that appropriate (and issue a statement about a few choice points Allison covers in the book, particularly regarding what the police said about my son’s passing as being payback for me doing something foul to Tom as though that had any merit…and not framing it in terms of “IF” she had done something intentionally or accidentally and so on…maybe that’s karma etc.)
Without the “IF” it’s a cruel allegation and even Allison said that seemed extreme to minimize our son’s passing. Kaelan died saving his friends from drowning. I had always had him help keep an eye on his younger sisters and he was a friend to pretty much everyone he knew…
That was a Christian ethic that the kids said I was talking about an awful lot…forgiveness, helping others and always thinking of Jesus… but basically that’s what pulled me through these terrible challenges…and I pray forgiveness for everyone involved who may have not understood what to do whether in a short-term situation or over the longer haul of caring for someone or even with the search or investigation.
My hope is we would really up our game when it comes to safety on all fronts and have teams of support to make this gift of life (and yes, even friendships, community and other personal relationships) worthwhile and not fraught with worries about dishonesty or crime.
It’s hard enough just to care about one another and try to be there for the basics and get through miserable losses and set backs. Still if things need improving and this will help maybe all the extra drama was worth it…damaging my reputation pretty thoroughly for many who don’t know me and if people who do know me feel ‘it’s just too much’ that’s their choice in our country and can be rather typical.
Hopefully others facing such ostracism can know they are not alone and can learn to pray for others to help break the stronghold of whatever factors into such dynamics…Such is the journey of many a person whether in a family, friendship, neighbor, school, faith, work or more general public or political arena…
We really all need to try to find a ‘better way’. I explore dozens of ideas along those lines on my blog too..and while some ideas are ‘out there’ they mainly circle back to a theme of a frequency of care, honesty, compassion and equality to allow ‘love and respect, truth and fairness and even a dose of forgiveness’ to lead the way. I have met many who have suffered brutal crimes and losses, and some are committed to forgiving and others ‘not so much’ as in nada, nyet, not in this lifetime.
With a sense of ‘letting vengeance be the Lord’s’ that means we don’t have to seek revenge even if we wanted it… G-d’s got that covered…but really it’s a huge waste of good energy and we don’t know all aspects of what is going on, so hopefully we can ‘evolve with love’ and see all humans as magical worthy beings (think of everyone born as innocent babes…and more amazing than not.)
Some need to be locked up and kept from others, but really for all that are, there are many times more who are not and get away with you know what…and more. So there’s no fighting that form the outside. We need to try to get everyone to choose to be decent from the inside. There could be a lot less violence in the media and again, realize there is a Choice as to what someone watches (especially the brutal crimes etc,)
Maybe more people need to live in communities to be safe and appropriately cared for…but finding the mix of ‘give and take’, cooperation and so on is not easy…so again, all the best to everyone in each community to find some support especially in these COVID times… community can be magical but it really needs to be real for everybody not just a few here and there.
Let’s find ways to help people connect with basic supports and know that there are many programs and people who are working hard to help others (mainly online nowadays) but maybe not so far in the future, in groups and real life programs too!