Thanks for letting folks know that there’s a Lot More to Consider about Tom Drew’s Life and a bit more about the last day of his time at his home in Salisbury CT. We can respond more compassionately, consistently and creatively to many challenges. People are familiar with the passing of Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton, a heroic teen who tried to save his friends from the Housatonic River also in Salisbury CT (and Falls Village CT) at the Falls.
There is a story I wrote called The Turtle and The Acorn which I think of in part as a tribute to Tom and Kaelan since it’s about facing sudden loss and change, although at the time, Kaelan was still alive and well. How come I care so much about those two situations which rocked the the tri-corner MA/NY/CT area (which I think of as the Many Connect area)?
Maybe they seem completely unrelated, but I was Tom’s part-time caregiver with him that ‘fateful’ Saturday, July 21st, 2007 (which maybe Allison and Bettina Drew may not realize was just 2 days before the very tragic home invasion of The Petit Family on July 23rd, 2007 resulting in the loss of the mom and her two daughters after the father was beaten and left in the basement.)
I had wanted to try to tell everyone after I got home after searching for a couple of hours in the dark and having a deer hit and dent the front of my car that night coming over the Sharon flats (bounding in from the left hand side then turning back.) The police asked me about that another time since I had told my family in emails about what had transpired from ‘one minute to the next’ just after 7pm that warm Saturday evening. I have a copy of an extensive deposition I gave on two dates in Litchfield CT months after no signs of Tom Drew were found and I was sued by his daughters.
I have read the book by Allision and have another response I will share soon, but for now, I put a post on Livfully.org/wordpressblog. This site only allows for 8K characters. Let’s form some meaningful sites to review the Tom Drew case online so more people can try to have an idea of The Truth of that Day….and then all the allegations and recommendations (or maybe just start fresh with What One would want to have in each country, state and area, town by town etc to address someone going missing, any kind of death or serious injury in terms of an immediate investigation or one done voluntarily and comprehensively as I would appreciate for instance regarding that of the last day of our teen son Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton’s life.
Agreements were in place for two parents to supervise the teens if they were going to the river for boating or swimming but that likely was not widely shared and not followed as the school days were wrapping up, schedules were changing, the kids were biking to school from 5 miles away and then ‘just around the sleepy little town of Falls Village CT…where ‘nothing happens until oh yes, it does in a terrifying big way.’
There’s mention of past crime in the area in Allison’s book and in my lengthy post about Kaelan’s life and our area, in Remembering Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton. What the police are quoted as saying in Allison’s book needs immediate and clear attention to be considered not only by the person quoted but by current leaders in many fields.
The important clarification should be asserting that “IF’ there were foul play on my part or anyone in my circle (all of which is alleged by Allison without any real evidence to the point other than one person not being clear about what was meant by me saying “he’s not here’.) earlier in the day.. meaning he is not in the same room with me since I was likely on the phone upstairs.
Falsely accusing someone is an offense identified in the earliest laws of civilization..and punishable by loss of life! So let’s all take note in terms of the legacy of letting ‘what ifs’ become “it must be” or “it surely is the case.” In terms of pursuing a course of legal action without grounds, that can be deemed ‘vexatious litigation’ and can be grounds for counter-suing. As for ruining one’s reputation with allegations, that is criminal but common.
Sometimes it can be remedied and grounds for a lawsuit and with this whole situation some have recommended I look into that. I will offer that these kinds of situations may be one we all need to learn from in terms of the balance of liberty, friendship, freedom and learning to face the reality of not having every base covered (when it comes to caring for someone with special needs or even just going out in the world.)
When one learns about domestic abuse, custody cases and more, the kinds of ‘crimes within crimes’ are dizzying and difficult for our countries, states, towns, communities and families to really comprehend.
Again as horrible as these life experiences are, from unlawful arrests, allegations of hurting someone or worse, being found guilty and punished if not put to death (by the system or street gangs, and yes people have harassed me over the years plenty, often with no written note to clarify what they are upset about and sometimes because I was seeking help or advocacy for a good cause.) Some say ‘no good deed goes unpunished’ and while that sounds impossible, sadly plenty of good folks know that is all too true.
Regarding the ‘case against me’ that Allison points out in the book (and yet she spoke to me only once saying I should have followed her Dad. I answered that everybody would agree with that now, but the instructions I had was not to be on his heels and I did go look for him within a ten minutes, thinking he was in the bathroom or upstairs. I was watching the movie “Too Young to Marry” and that may have made him uncomfortable. It was about college kids deciding to marry to be together since one didn’t get into the same good college (Harvard I think.)
Another person thought I had asked them for help on Sat. to look for him but I didn’t even tell my family until after he went missing on Sat. night so they had their weekend days mixed up. That really was the most they had to go on in terms of any inconsistency.
Then there is a far stretch of interpreting a dream I had using the word ‘high dresser” to indicate the French word “Haut” and searching a farm in Cornwall 10 miles away where my son had a friend. I never knew why they went in that direction but at least part of That mystery is solved! Thanks for anyone’s interest and real concern which may lead to forming a caring, capable community response to help us all be safer in all walks of life. Many people are to be commended for their efforts to search, and I cover more of that on the post on Livfully.org/wordpressblog.