Crafting Clear Safety PLANS

People Learning with Agreements and Networking through Schools and Society (PLANS) with our Community Thinking KAPP (Kids, Adults, Parents Partnership) will be a great way to promote safety, care, respect, and skills for people at every stage of life. (This blog post from Livfully.org 2014 is by Catherine Palmer Paton of CT) Let's see how things have played out and what next steps in keeping a team spirit growing strong as we dance our way through the rest of the 2020s decade and beyond!

 We all know some things are toxic (too much anger, hate, bullying, self-loathing, being too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired--HALT) short-term or long-term where the effects can be more serious.Let US-All dream positively for ourselves and others. Taking care yet being exuberant in our pursuit of well-being is an exciting idea!

We can explore the notion that together we 'can do better' individually and collaboratively. We can review things that could catch anyone off guard, cause them to lose their temper or to despair (with shocking news or even longer depression, difficulties, abuse and endless caregiving and such) then we would do well to consider improvements to the overall game plan that could be made.

Finding ways to journey together along as a  "USA-tonic' river of care and support for each other would be a helpful endeavor for US-All in the wider world.See more ideas in the Livfully,org on 'Lion-brerries" (libraries) too.

Please consider joining in this innovative team-building and personal empowerment program which is extensively covered here and will be offered through www.educationconnection.org in the NW CT area for an hour and a half (6:30 to 8pm) in the Spring of 2014.

Community leaders and parents, teachers and networkers are encouraged to network about safety with local and online resources. I will share concepts from Permaculture (PC) which is about 'earth care, people care and resource share' , to appreciate nature, learning and socializing in effective groups and with support for projects. See more on www.gaia.org. Other wonderful offerings online are www.avpusa.org which can enhance respect and problem-solving as well as addressing conflict in caring, creative ways when appropriate.

A wealth of information can be found through www.211.org (or dial 2-1-1 on a phone to find out about their free referral systemto agencies for help with housing, food, healthcare, childcare and much more). The organization and service of "2-1-1" is to help people obtain basic care and life skills.

Why not consider yourself a buddy on a team of 'everybuddies' and tell people about such services or help them find ways to save money, find work (or get to jobs with networks in each community)? What skills can you share with your community through a school or group to enhance your area? Can you attend programs and tell others about cultural or educational tips you have picked up? How about networking to 'share the load on the road' for shopping or doing errands?

Take care before offering anyone a ride directly. People need to be safe, sober and certain they will treat you with respect. Some communities work toward having a 'care car' or set of approved drivers (often having to drive the owner's car, not the driver's for insurance purposes, yet sometimes one is supposed to drive one's own car so check carefully with our insurance and any agency. Even programs like Scouts may require leaders to have their insurance as a primary pay with the organization being secondary.

Public transportation with more support for credible ways to help people with transportation and getting errands done could be a priority for all communities. The same goes for access to computers, phones, mail and other basic services. Ideally, most churches, faith groups and community agencies such as libraries could make this a top concern, offering a second phone line for people to have access to both phone and internet when open and at least the phone 24-7 at key locations (even with private residents perhaps forming a voluntary network to man a station or provide access to some people on a workable basis or get more laptops at internet cafes, schools and grocery stores, etc.

Perhaps you can help someone do an errand or simple chores (be cautious of doing any heavy physical labor, moving or other work which someone may hold you accountable), and they or another could help you. Groups that support one's interests are offered locally or online. Sharing some interests with even one other can help you stay motivated and feel valued. The wider networks online help many people. If you don't have skills for that, how about having someone assist you.

Many nice events happen through libraries and faith groups, private and public schools. Ovreall, more consults with the internet and a few others to come up with a clear understanding of legal liabilities as well as ways to make clear written or oral agreements can be a key preventive step to helping someone in ways that may make you liable or involve you with difficult people. High need people, whether in a short-term crisis or longer term set of matters, merit a skilled team of people who can direct and monitor the assistance that is given so the person in need does not 'play helpers' against each other.

Even parents rearing youth together would benefit from having other friends, family, counselor and teachers in conversations to sort through the options and craft ways to keep each youth safe, supervised, accountable and respected by all parties, other youth and themselves. Someone who is a danger to themselves or others is a public health concern.

Often the person or people can create a crisis which causes a lot of stress and difficulty for others, if not harm, danger, injury or even death when things 'get out of control'. A committen of caring, skilled helpers can guide both youth and adults to have more self-control, self-discipline, awareness of their rights to not engage with others verbally, in person, on the phone or on the computer.

Anyone a person interacts with should be safe and accountable for their actions, with a sense of having earned the right and ability to carry through with basic communications, activities of daily living (eating, caring for oneself, going places locally, etc)

Taking time to visit places with someone can lead to more connections. A widespread exciting group is Toastmasters, which like the TED Talks online, offer examples of public speaking. The speaking clubs also promote teamwork and efficiency to run enjoyable meetings.Find out more on www.toastmasters.org and visit a meeting for free a few times. Many communities have a Chamber of Commerce or other community-based networking system that one can learn about and join.

Civic and faith groups offer unique ways to benefit from team efforts, whether scouting, sports, ecumenical or more specific types of gatherings. Often there are fundraising efforts which would welcome people as volunteers for a one-time event or longer commitment over time. Nature centers, schools and most non-profits provide avenues to both 'giving and receiving' as part of a community. Visiting a few programs with friends could be a nice way to do a survey of one's area and perhaps give one impetus to write to one's paper or online (on Facebook or even here) about what makes a community work well.

An effort called  The Compassion Project (which you can practice also by keeping track of kind things folks do for one another and sharing in reasonable ways, maybe with just first names to not put people on the spot, but full name if they are okay with that. Some schools and nursing homes post honors on notecards as 'above and beyond' or 'kindnesses noted') promotes acknowledging small acts of kindness as well as what is working well in a community.

The idea of keeping a journal, list or public accounting of good things going on and done by individuals as well as groups can help capture the idea and keep the momentum growing in a positive, caring direction! Salisbury CT is offering such a CP, with a website and info through the Salisbury Congregational Church on Main St.

Then there is a forum for promoting 'what could make a group or area even better'. Give yourself some positive feedback as well and ask a few friends for input as well, then gently aspire to enrich your own opportunities and be team player with support from others by checking in and taking steps to reach your goals.

Sometimes people are not aware of what is meaningful or what you are working on, so it is helpful to inform people with a written note in an e-mail or give a short talk at a meeting as the opportunity presents itselt. Go ahead and share your great ideas and a few kudos for what you do (or at Least Jot them Down and post them where you can use them as daily affirmations.

These may look like " I am a caring person. I get good rest and eat well to take care of myself and my bodily needs. I care about myself as well as others so I don't become imbalanced (or burned out). I ask for help and take time to have fun even when I'm 'very busy'. I find ways to relax before I go to sleep so I don't worry all night. I wake up with a calm, trusting feeling that I have support from myself, others, and the greater community and even universe'.

I achieve what I set out to do for the day, the week, and longer periods of time. I look back over the day to review some positives and even ways things could have gone better. I'm honest, open and willing to learn about myself and life on 'life's terms' (and other ideas borrowed from 12-step programs which can be found online such as at Alcoholics Anonymous(for people with alcohol problems although open meetings are open to guests as well and likely everyone would benefit from attending a few to understand its value as a community resource.)   Al-Anon (for people with family members who have drinking issues), Overeaters Anonymous(for help with overeating).

Planning for life in 5-year (then break that down into 1-yr increments) can be a practical game plan. More people are finding it challenging to balance work and leisure or family time. The cost of living only rises, yet some social service programs are also opening up--such as  Fuel or Energy Assistance programs or SNAP (food stamps that can provide about $175/month for a low-income adult and health insurance for those earning less than $1K through Obamacare as well as fuel assistance and other basics if one gets paperwork and such returned in a timely fashion). The basics for safety and sobriety go hand-and-hand. Living, learning and loving in safe, respectful ways are key to for anyone in to learn about the laws which pertain to each of those "L"s.

Do you have time to review the first post on this blog about a Checklist for Chicks and Guys? How about some time to look at key websites such as www.theduluthmodel.org? A few key advocates in the country for safety include www.rainn.org www.barrygoldstein.net and www.lundybancroft.com He has an important 'quiz' on the Bonus materials part of www.shouldIstayorshouldIgo.net.

The book with that name if for women to review carefully at ANY stage of their relationship (I'd say even if you think you don't need to...so much of abuse and control is not easily detected and is often dismissed.) Maybe there were 'things from the past' or ''some times in the present' that worry you, about your own partner or family members, co-workers or others. Maybe for a friend. Why not LEARN in advance what you need to know to trust your instincts and FEEL SAFE.

A basic tip is to try to leave any situation even for a few minutes, but longer as one is able, if one is not comfortable with someone or something that is going on. Why not have a buddy system for places to visit, stay for a day or two, have clothes and money stored for you (in addition to your own safety back-up for any need in one's car, especially if one has children, the weather is cold or troubling, etc.)

Have resources in many places (that's a tip from permaculture--PC). Have team support and live a life that is connected with healthy people and programs. That's half the battle, to stay on the sunny, safe and sober side of life. Then it gets easier. Too often a crisis can drag others down.

Review some of the sites above to learn the 'warning signs' of distress, such as on the Wheels from the Duluth Model. Those can be printed out and posted in your community and shared as seems safe in your circles of friends. Thanks for looking at this site and sharing tips and ideas as you are inspired.

We are seed-planting basic resources to help people feel, heal and deal with life on life's terms. If there are challenges that would benefit from a 12-step program, check one out onlie (that should be safe enough). Other good sites include www.healthyplace.com and www.nami.org.

Overall, keep a close watch over people in your care of any age who need that. Children are really important to watch and be involved with even as they move into the teen years. Careful about cars and driving when the time comes for them to learn. Supervise closely who they ride with and make sure to follow the new guidelines that encourage drivers to be older and have no or few passengers. Why not wait until teens have had a year or two to work and earn money before letting them drive a lot. Then at age 18 or so, they likely can appreciate the risk and responsibility involved in driving.

Same goes for 'letting them go out on their own'. The privilege of being out late does not have to be a given, and if youth feel they are being counted on and expected to comply with family guidelines, hopefully there won't be power struggles. Eighteen will come 'soon enough'..and even then, ideally they will check in often as is appropriate if not with you, then with other good buddies. Feel free to ask for information on various aspects of growing up responsibly and respectfully in the first place.

Appreciating the life experiences of others and even oneself can help one proceed more wisely into the next adventures awaiting a person, family or group. Every town has many agencies and people who could use some networking to feel valued and included. How might you help that growth process along?

Check out more about 'Permaculture' and FB social groups to stay connected and supported as communities and 'find your tribe' with the work or efforts you care about! We'll see the world with New Eyes and enjoy the gift of common-unity as Everybuddy finds ways to see others and be seen as a valuable team player whether in the game of family, life, sports, work, groups or singing on a mountain top! Yodle-odle, lay-he, who....See the Design Process for any project or team effort on Turtle Garden Permaculture Game by Catherine Palmer Paton (it's online here somewhere on livfully.org but I am needing to highlight it from the many pages of posts..stay tuned!)