Part of taking AVP (Alternatives to Violence Program) that is offered in communities and within prisons is to ‘rename yourself’. I actually thought of using a adjective with the same starting letter or sound for my kids before this I think because I liked that Lavender and Leah flowed. I thought of Kind Kaelan back when our one son was young and always looking out for his others (mostly Sharing Sharon and Joyful Jessie and Lovely Lanie (code name just to give the idea and get the overall point across).
These names still ring true and can remind me (and them as they choose) of those qualities. With each new decades of living the qualities can be highlighted and one’s personality unfold with life experiences with an emphais on the positive. Even speaking to one’s child or an expectant person’s little one whenhatching out (or some say Before a Pregnancy begins) time is worthwhile. I’m apt to do that to appreciate the gift of life and the foundational experiences that could inform everyone’s life story and experience more fully…) A warm welcome to the many new young beings on the grow in my life nowadays and their partnering parents (and grandparents and even those in spirit as may be the case) in their life adventures!
So on that note, I will pay tribute to my Marvelous Mary Mother and Daring Dale Dad. Singing Sandy (short for Alexander and part of Kaelan’s middle name Alexander being the 8th in a row in the Paton family..so maybe That will be my next project to do some research but following his Dulcimer playing Dad David Alexander Paton (who made his mark in the whitewater world for almost making the Olympic team)Then there’s Caring Caroline, Kaelan’s Grandmother.
For paying tribute to the ongoing efforts of rescuers both paid and volunteer, there’s the inspirational Ninja Neal or Super Skip (his main nickname) who pulled off a water rope rescue singlehandedly as far as I know eight years ago (yet breaking with protocol to do so since he used tree climbing ropes and not the official rescue ropes. Good thing we have tall trees in the northwest corner of CT and plenty of them.
What got me thinking of these types of touchpoints about names is that someone needed to borrow a laundry card to do about 8 bucks worth of laundry late at night. Caring soul that I am and creative thinker even when exhausted from doing a few hours of laundry and tending to others lots,\.
I offered him my card but said I’d need the money back since the card wasn’t mine and I’d have to reimburse them for that. (Note to self, I stil have to do that since the following unfolded over the laundry matter, pun intended.)
He was very grateful and we worked out an idea that he’d meet me back there in a half hour. What transpired next is worth lots more than 8 dollars. I’m sure he’s a Responsible Roger (not his real name fyi) but he dropped the ball.
I waited about Ten Minutes when I was Very Tired and eager to get so bed after missing my 10 pm bedtime for a few nights, upwards of 2 and even 3 am..and with some wake-up times to check on someone.
So it’s kind of an exhausted (did I use that term already), stressed kind of ‘I need to get to bed and really rest’ feeling that I was marinating in (yet full disclosure, this was in a handy dandy laundry with All the Machines just for me to use along with five dryers and a hUGe fan to help air dry stuff one of my ‘family’ customers (whose also got the head cold of a century) needs for a trip, of course the day before launching
. So the lessons are Many– everybuddy pitch in and plan to get laundry and other key household chores done in reasonable time frames with teamwork as needed and daylight on one’s side. Then there’s having money on one’s laundry card, enough for oneself and to save the day but do exchange a back up plan B as in my first offer to let him drop money off sometime today but forgot to give him my apartment number..
Well let’s face it, maybe that wouldn’t be the best thing, maybe meeting right in the lobby would be a more reasonable idea at noon the next day (which happens to be coming up.) At first I was getting upset, but then I thought ‘who or what am I really getting upset at/” Do I feel he was tricking me or not showing up even by mistake but I would still lose my money if I didn’t stick around and do even more than I did…not only for him but for everybody else (about 5 loads of laundry and a wet rug I had to wring out with towels and so on.)
Then I thought well this is the time of year when our 16 year old son passed, 8 years ago, and isn’t it nice to have someone else to help out in ways I wanted to and have for many years… but then again, he’s a No Show..He’s disappeared and I may never see him again ( Wasn’t this the major feeling and worry that landed in my life when learning the river had taken our son’s life on June 16th, 2009? Was I supposed to realize the hUGE feelings I went through and realize this was just a very small trigger like an acupuncture needle hitting a pressure point?)..and Why not get angry for a minute since I don’t allow myself to feel that too often (about petty stuff anyway.) Well, that was therapeutic to ‘go down that chain of thoughts and observe all the feelings that were popping up.
That was after I had made popcorn that was a big hit with a family for a Pop (a Dad) who’d just popped out of town for a week to reconnect with his family in a beautiful part of the world. I had gotten a call into the Jen McLean Live Prayer Circle on June 17, 2017 and wouldn’t you know I got to share a lot of meaningful stuff (and mentioned this livfully.org blog and Kaelan Paton in case the world, G-d, Kaelan wanted to say a hello from heaven and if that could help someone…so a special welcome to any coming here from That hUGE online crowd and the replays that go all year.
I hope to listen to the former ones and Jen McLean shared that she is a medium as well but hadn’t really told folks that much. She did a brief process to help the spirit of fellow who ended his own life ‘go into the light’ and had a message to the Mom and girlfriend that he was sorry it hurt them, he was very conflicted. I hope to hear how the Patti Sinclair gallery talk went in Waterbury CT and feel as I told many folks at a church I went to last year and was visiting again that I felt I was ‘saying hello to Old Friends’ even though I seemed new to them. I had some in-depth sharing time with a fellow about how many times cultural and religious practices just seem to go unchecked even if people are being mutilated or harmed in serious ways.
The religious aspect of ‘it shows obedience and love’ can be woven into some very dangerous scenarios in someone’s psyche. Some religious or professional or other very caring, capable people can have a streak of the heebee geebees (or something to cause pain and suffering with threats or actions). I told this Brave Ben fellow that threats to harm one’s own child is still happening for some, and no one is checking on that or educating Everybody that ‘hands are not for hitting or killing–or anything mean in between’..and that it it Against the Law and maybe a karmic request to Have Done Unto Oneself (or someone Else one cares about be it one’s own child or another person’s child, a sister or another sister or brother, etc)
What One is Doing (or maybe even Thinking of Doing) to Others. We do not have all the options spelled out clearly to help us keep track and See for ourselves what may be happening since we alone can tune into what we are really feeling and thinking (and yet can often benefit from others helping us understand the ways to feel, assess, share and process and consider What Else it might mean whether currently or from the past or how it might play out in the future…).
Okay, well those are some thoughts to get some new balls rolling. In terms of outreach, helping all people know that they can make New Better Choices for themselves and those in their care. More youth are learning they have rights, more women and other typical victims are also feeling a rising sense of entitlement to respect and decency. Things are moving in a positive direction maybe just in the nick of time. The idea of different lifestyles for sexual orientation or relationships came up in my brief talk with Ben.
I said maybe over time we have learned more than we understood not only about people but the planet. Now we have more than enough people on the planet so the ‘be fruitful and multiply’ reason to fill the earth and tame is not so pressing. Then there’s the angle of climate change and trying not to overpopulate the planet. If every child could have a hundred helpers in the first 8 years, say 12 per year (with the club going month to month for monetary, social and skill support as well as help with good food and other basics) people would begin to feel more connected and even more qualified and aware of what parenting and rearing a child alone or with help involves on many levels.
Most people have one romantic or committed relationship at a time and some are more open in those configurations. Being clear about where the lines are drawn and why (whether values, prevention of illness, upset, diseases, pregnancy or promotion of any of those…with pregnancy not viewed as a negative but of a desirable avenue if the woman and ideally any man she is with is open to that or better, wanting that.)
The idea of legal responsibilities being tied to sexual or romantic experiences may be overdone. Everyone needs a place to live, sleep, eat and so on. The broken court systems in every state are doing triage often with corrupt or inept parties and professionals having a ‘mud bath’ type experience often putting or leaving children in dire harm and neglect of many basic emotional and practical safety and needs being met as well as financial ruin.
Don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer but all of this kind of ‘true crime and family drama’ could serve as a warning to those coming up through the ranks whether just starting out or more seasoned (married with children, dating one or more people–especially if any have children or even pets or others one becomes attached to and vice versa).
We need a major overhaul nationally so why not Start at the Top.. it’s maybe an interesting point that an older POTUS (President of the US) has a younger wife and son in addition to one or more former spouses (I don’t care for the term ‘ex’, thanks for allowing that. Feels too much like a cross out and some people have spoken of not caring if their former partner ‘dropped d-e-a-d.”
I thought that was horrible before our son died and of course want to tell people ( as I did to some even as I was learning about karmic possibilities from Edgar Cayce, Rudolf Steiner and other systtems back in 2008 a year or more before our son’s passing) not to use such ’empty threats’ or strong language about wanting one’s parent, friends or enemies or anyone to come to harm even it wanting to not maintain social or official legal or relationship ties..because the karmic ‘kick back’ can land way too close to happening either to the one spoken against or to oneself or someone close to the speaker.
The ‘gift of legal language, laws and social mores and norms can actually be viewed here as the appropriate way to declare one’s boundaries..such as “I don’t want to get phone calls from you (and isn’t it great there are caller ID and answering machines to help Every Person Screen Their Calls and Even Let People Know One will return calls at a certain time or schedule one to do so. Then there’s email, then there’s using a go-between and a host of FB Group pages (maybe more families could do private ones with very light topics to test the waters) and so on. Maybe no one is ever as ‘far out of the loop energetically as we think or have been led to believe.
See othe posts on livfully.org and online resources that indicate there Are Energetic Ties, maybe Angels, many lifetimes for each person and karmic soul groups and much more. It could take years to not only hear about but to process with other people and feel it serves a meaningful role in living one’s life and making one’s choices. Not easy with the religious and cultural leaders allowing great voids even between legal and religious ‘laws and protocol.’ We need to see where there is confusion or gaps and seek to bridge our collective understanding and networks. Maybe wishful thinking but that may beo more potent than formerly understood, don’t you think?
While that happened in a sense with a good friend’s mom passing when I pointed that out he quickly and flatly denied that his words could have even factored into some cosmic equation to bring her end about (along with a cancer and complications…) I told him the Possibility was too Great to Play around with …like playing with fire or falls or waterfalls..
Not easy to share that but again,maybe it’s the cooler kinder helping hand from heaven to guide us all when out ‘stinkin’ thinkin’ or heartbreak hotel scenarios or contentious courts and custody or divorce issues may be rearing their rugly, buggly heads…Okay, got a call from an earth angel, an Angelic Angelo, on the phone so will wrap up..Wishing you well and want the best for everybuddy as I’m sure our heavenly helpers are wanting to.. Big Hugs, Cath and co.