In response to a young mother who shared her recovery story in my circles, I wrote the following…and am sharing it here knowing we can all draw on one another’s strength, wisdom and friendship.
Trust that many people love you and care about every aspect of your life, the struggles, the questions and confusion…the small choices about taking a moment to be grateful for a new day, a fresh start and way to respond to any conflict or need, any interchange that is difficult or challenging (whether an internal or external dialogue…we’ve all got ‘voices in our head’ about someone judging us..even if it’s our former self–whether perfectionistic, lazy, hopeful, exhausted, not as whatever as we were or the next guy or gal…well you get the picture.
This Human Movie Our Lives are creating seems not of our own making. Yet having had an intro session to A Course In Miracles (and by the way #marianne2020 is about marianne.com running for POTUS) and hearing Einstein says that Nothing Exists (even the moon) unless we look at it and say it does… gives me pause for reflection. There’s a story beneath the one we’ve heard in our lifetimes…about that nature of reality and the human spirit/ person and life itself.
Keeping the book open, the door ajar to allow new understandings to playfully sneak into our consciousness seems as important as chasing every molecule or thought into its category and classification. Okay, so here’s to the healing and loving that is creating a wave of hope and growth among humanity in our dreams and when we are ‘up walking around’ (Not sure that’s not the dream and when we are asleep is the reality by the way…).
High fives for not getting high (and yes, that means with the recreational marijuana since I do feel many people are going to find they have recreational paranoia, munchies, anger outbursts and then some and maybe drink more beer to go with the experience. Both of those substances are chemical depressants…and sooner or later, the imbalance (along with less sleep if that’s part of partying or pattern, as may be a gateway to harder drugs…especially for younger people age 11 and up.
Even though the drug won’t be sold legally to younger people, they likely will be exposed and even coaxed into using it by adults for various reasons.) Let’s hope more people can consider the wisdom of not putting one’s chemistry off balance. If there is a medical reason, that too could be carefully reviewed with meditation and herbal remedies, acupuncture and more, especially for younger working people. There are more resources online and talks in areas (such as one at Noble Horizons in Salisbury CT on 2-23-19 which likely will be covered in The Lakeville Journal.
An important letter in the 2-14-19 issue of The Lakeville Journal about the #HimToo movement by Deanna Barry from Womens Support Services of Sharon CT was helpful to realize 1 out of 6 men report being abused in their lifetime. Initially that #HimToo was about a mother’s concern her son would be charged with being a sex offender in the #MeToo culture.
We all need to have a better understanding of the many ways a victim can feel pressured, particularly by someone s/he knows, may be ‘groomed’ in terms of having more trust built up and other social and physical barriers breached little by little, having a lack of support people to monitor and supervise them or go to and be believed and supported and much more.
Too often the social groups in which abuse occurs whether among friends or family members, tend to have many who will support or cover for a bully or sexual offender. Without mutual consent even among those in an established relationship can be violated. CT is speaking of allowing for marital rape statutes of limitation to be removed since the crime was not well understood or utilized within the existing time statute. NY has expanded their statute of limitation for minors to report abuse as adults.
The culture is starting to wake up and clarify expectations and put laws in place to insist on ‘not letting things slide’ when responsible adults are made aware of a situation (whether mandated reporters or those aware of the wrongdoing…especially at schools, in churches and in official community settings. The US House Resolution 72 is seeking to protect children from their own abusive parent as well, now that’s real progress that could help 60K children a year in our country. We likely can agree that a parent abusing their child is horrendous since it is likely a cumulative life impacting experience. If that abuse includes sexual violations most feel extremely disheartened (the victims and any who hear or understand that is even a strong possibility.)
Somehow the people in charge seem to freeze or worse, have a hand in allowing it due to their social and likely economic ties to the offender or the agency, even those meant to protect children, that may have ‘quotas to meet’ and allow for slip-ups or worse even ship kids into situations (via foster and adoptions) where they are no longer tracked or held to the same standard.
That has historically been a major problem and cover up that the US public won’t be reading in the papers anytime soon, yet I have heard as much from credible resources…and it truly is mind-blowing to consider the deep levels of corruption underpinning many of our systems. We need major groups of people to join in think-tanks to have a consistent presense in understanding the true ugly side of the history of US…and seek to make amends and stop the crime wave that is likely to consume many more people exponentially at every age and stage of life.
When we don’t have that sense of shared protection and care, the stress and strain of staying well and keeping up with the economics of one’s life is a perfect set-up to fall prey to the system…and its hungry wolves (again to meet quotas even if they are not the mastermind of the agenda…) Don’t mean to ruin anyone’s rose-colored glasses view of the world, but knowing is better than not knowing…and hopefully with more people looking at sites like No Lies Radio.org, CivicResearchInstitute.org (even to look at their offerings and summaries of important research and advocacy), CA Protective Parents Association.com, and even Steven Greer and Delores Cannon on youtube to consider the many ways we could see the world with new eyes and a shared understanding of options to stand in the truth or at least in the curiousity of what could be unfolding while we have time to act in this next decade.
So here’s my response that I wrote to a friend in recovery…and here’s to an inspiring, courageous rest of 2019 and beyond…
Very heartwarming to know you are doing so well..I didn’t realize the many years of struggle, yet that is far more common than we really allow the people (or their families or friends) to share in meaningful ways.
I know of others who have found ‘solid ground’ much later in life and also pursued nursing (with success even taking their show on the road…not staying in one set job which I would think would be easier…that’s maybe the Taurus in me.)
Sometimes a low Vit D or low iron level, high or low blood sugar or other bodily imbalance can be setting people up to look for drugs to balance their system…even pain meds of course are a huge problem.
In addition to those ‘factors’ there are early life experiences (ACEs study, I posted on my blog and have heard more about how being harmed or even experiencing domestic abuse–witnessing it and so on, or not having adequate nutrition in utero or early in life can factor into someone’s imbalance…)
Then there’s a host of mental imbalances (from caregivers and teachers, siblings or friends as well as one’s own tapes and conditions…) that are having an impact on someone… None of which we look at carefully as though a medical health assessment…
People are trained to blame or dismiss themselves or other’s symptoms..No one should feel they are ‘to blame’ for their ‘choices’…I have often said our kids are more of who We really are and we are who are parents were… because the adults (parents, teachers etc) were making the big decisions… something to consider and again seek communal forgiveness, healing and wisdom from to benefit one and all in our amazing yet pressured modern times…
