The Ties that Bind...Community, Schools, Public Well-Being from Towns to States and Beyond

After learning that the Housatonic Valley Regional High School in Fals Village CT received an award for a stellar design in the state, I was inspired to post this on a FB comment and continue on from there.

The new book by Daniel Pink, A Whole New Mind ( I think that's the title) speaks about allowing more insights from the right side of the brain come through for our collective benefit--according to a summary from someone and yes, I hope to at least thumb through that book and Deepak Chopra's You are the Universe (if memory serves..and he's offering great programs online including one with Eckhardt Tolle. Some other thinkers would say that our spiritual or energetic being is coming through our brain waves...and before I say more about that, I'll mention this post hits on many themes, some easier to consider than others. I put it all out there as it dawns on me (generally in one fell swoop or sitting...) and then hope to reflect more on it later.

If you've never let yourself pick up a pen or get to your keyboard and just start typing as ideas and associations, stories, events and more flow, then by all means consider yourself warmly welcomed to the universal writers, thinkers, dreamers circle (even when you're asleep...who says you have to use a Real Pen and Paper or Computer? Some might say it's like writing a letter to a childhood friend, a former teacher or the new kids on the block..what would you wan to share if they were all ears (and really needed to know a few things to get by in life?)

Okay, on that lively note, I will share my post. Google a picture or maybe I can post on here... but everyone's school or hometown area likely deserves an award for being part of one's experience, hopefully in positive ways, but even it it's a rough ride at times (as has been the case with our lovely community and locale as I expand upon), it's all part of the journey (which The Course In Miracles and many other fields such as quantum theory say we're making up collectively and individually as we go along...hopefully I will add, learning lessons for our soul and ways to enjoy life fully yet respectfully along the way...)

This would be a nice parking place to tell a few tales of the halls of Housatonic over the decades. Thankfully there's a Blue 'N Gold Alumni Association...and what I've done for a couple of decades is network informally among the six towns (plus into NY and MA, Torrington and so on) to create the Wider Community Network that is integral to the experience of living in the tri-corner area, and especially 'the six small towns' that comprise the Region One School District....namely, Falls Village, North Canaan and Cornwall, Salisbury, Sharon and Kent..(I also wrote a song and that's part of the chorus...). 

Our times and community are a 'cut-above' the experiences of many even over the decades since the rural area, near the river and even the crazy falls, kept it remote and wild...meaning people needed to get to know their neighbors to figure out 'who the community was..and is' and how if can function in ways to stay afloat.'

While women used to 'stay home and rear their young' for five years or a few years, or now usually only 2-12 months, more is expected of everyone without 'free daycare' (which I've always said should be a given yet didn't know where to begin to advocate. My simple plan would work to 'stretch the funding from education to go prenatal care and yes, cover births, then have free childcare for all parents through school ages, age 7 or even beyond.

The way to 'pay for that' would be to change the educational funding formula which has always insisted budgets go up even if student populations go down. Rather than increase the funds at any elementary or high school, why not take that 'extra' and help the little ones, where small investments can return handsome profits and really do a world of good. If children could wait until ages 6 or 7 before going into 'kindergarten', the curriculum could shift so they are learning things at an earlier grade level but actually be older and more mature so they could succeed at the academics, manage the social in school and at home --which is often two or more family homes and other programs, a church or other sport commitment and of course, travel and internet time...

Those reasons are often given by private schools for why it makes sense to have kids 'live at school'...so they can focus on their learning and programs like sports, music, theater and socialize readily. Okay, so that's my tribute in part to the hallowed halls of Housy, which many realize 'were the best of times for me but also part of a one of the most tragic, life-taking, difficult events or the northwest corner...the passing of our teen son Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton, on his last day of his freshman year (at age 16 and a half almost) on June 16, 2009 when he and a group of friends went to The Falls as part of their biking excursion around the otherwise sleepy town of Falls Village, a couple of miles from the HVRHS.

There's a lot more about that day and the years prior (and even since) on my blog and in other accounts with people reflecting on the events which included Kaelan rescuing two friends while still on land, and going in for a third, who he may have been helpful in buying time or pushing a bit away from the dangerous undercurrent which held him for days, making a recovery effort impossible. The final part of rescuing the other lad from near the pounding waters of the Falls was treacherous and thankfully successful, with Skip Kosciusko (an HVHRS Alum from the late 1970s) acting in miraculous ways to respond as a volunteer and happen to have his tree climbing ropes which were integral to his heroic undertaking.

Of course, the many Houstonic alumni who served in the Viet Nam war could be acknowledged. With many families in the area for generations the line between the personal and public realms is integrated more than can readily be understood in larger cities. With many local families staying in the area, the school communities really do become the public community and the long-term social connections can allow for friendships that become like family (and even help family maintain a sense of friendship, to remember there are many stories unfolding in meaningful ways which can be encouraged more readily as people understand the pressing matters at hand, what others are doing and the wider world issues that need addressing.)

The Community Foundations speak to the sense of 'paying it forward' when it comes to leaving a legacy (as do faith groups, non-profits, private and even public schools and colleges, land trusts and other efforts to enrich an area and keep it a viable option for more people who grew up there, work or have connections to the area or hope to do so.) We are seeing the importance of acknowledging that 'the people make the place and the place makes the people' around the world.

The idea that people have an inherent right to live where they were born or called their home is one that's been highlighted in part by the Native Americans (and locally that would include the Kent CT situation which again is part of our shared legacy and could garner more consideration on all sides. What's the point of studying history and ethics if we can't apply them publicly to matter in our own back yards (or if we stepped into other people's yards and don't want to take time to consider the implications?) IF America had to give back the entire country since we basically invaded it, since it would be 'the right ethical thing to do', we would likely feel terribly afraid and concerned.

The people we stole the land from felt that and generally were killed or lost their lives due to the suffering our ancestors inflicted upon them. IF we could consider the opportunity to Make Amends while alive to help our souls and our future generations have an easier time energetically or karmically, we likely would have much to gain (the more generous we became...)

I know that sounds rather backwards if looking only at 'today and tomorrow'..but some say that with climate change (or even the way the government may be able to diminish rights and change the rules of the game even pertaining to where we live and who gets to live--cutting back medical or other social security and funds.. or worse as painted in Global Report 2000), that we are all on the clock...it may be too late to keep the oceans from warming and rising...and the calamity that natural disasters can cause can be more than our recovery efforts can keep up with...all in the next few decades. Those are some glum ideas, but there are some 'fantastic, strange yet meaningful' views from Steven Greer online and many others about the spiritual realm to consider.

Sadly none of that is covered directly in the school systems. We load young people up with pressure to learn and depressing historical and current events without giving them hope. No wonder they are prone to the endless empty promises of sex, drugs and dark music...not to mention endless media with dark themes of killing, violence and vengeance.

Those themes can seem empowering or as a way to have the final say about 'how one lives and how one dies (or how others die...)'. But they skip the aspects of life and possibility that no one ceased to exist energetically (some would say spiritually) after mortal death. I write a lot about those possibilities as well on my blog. Why not have a think tank or two review these ideas in meaningful ways, exploring the value of considering possibilities that are well explained by people like Edgar Cayce, Rudolf Steiner, Eric Pearl, Jesus and most faiths (to treat others the way you want to be treated...so all may go well with you.) 

Sadly the local papers and most media decline rich opportunities to think outside of the box. Our area, like every other set of small towns probably... has suffered a history of horrible events Which Are Not Written About in The Papers by and large.

Even though the murder of Barbara Gibbons put our small towns on the map (A Death in Canaan, and work by locals and other famous skilled people to right wrongful interviews, arrests and poor police and justice work), other tragic events of people (mostly women and children, yet likely other men too) were abused in many ways...from neglect, control, isolation, threats and intimidation, forces pregnancies, sexual assault and more...most shy of murder but there is the term 'murder of the soul' so whose to define 'the worst crime'...some of which likely factored into people's drug use or more direct self-harm if not suicide.

In addition the number of women facing the decision (or being forced) to have abortions due to abuse or control should be acknowledged along with those who felt 'they had no other option' or didn't want to face the stress and lifelong challenge of putting their child up for adoption. Ideally more communities could plan to assist women at any stage of pregnancy (and provide free birth control for any who ask for it.) 

The existence of Women's Emergency Services and the current WSS--Women's Support Services is one of 17 domestic abuse agencies in the state of CT yet the sexual assault education and agency is at Susan B Anthony in Torrington.

They had a half a million grant to learn about rural abuse issues and put a summary together...clearly there is a reason..and most women should feel more empowered nowadays (even compared to 10-20 years ago) to get the help they need. Yet 'most women stay' (often for lack of a path to safety longterm with secure housing and ways to make ends meet...

women may be told repeatedly there will be ways their children an be put in foster care or taken from them, and yet that is another set of systems that is fraught with fraud and mismanagement or loose terms that can become a living hell for children.

Not all of the care is substandard or abusive, but overall there are many loopholes (in all directions it seems so only the very brave or savvy likely can pursue those fields.) What needs to happen is a lot more early support and gentle intervention, having laws and guidelines that spell out the basic care anyone is expected to give an infant, a young child, a school-age student (even if home-schooled) and much more.

Same goes for having relationships with people one lives with, is related to, lives near, works with, rides in a car with or on the bus with, depends on for some care or rides, and so on right on through relationships, personal, social, professional, romantic, physical, sexual, parenting (biological, step-parenting, divorced, co-parenting, grandparenting, and lots more). 

Once people understand the context of their lives more fully they can keep up with basics and anticipate the next stage of life needs over time as families and situations may change and evolve. 

Elder years or people with special needs short-term or longer, in recovery from a condition or surgery or injury etc, may all merit special support for a period of time (a few months or more) whether a physical, mental health, social or legal matter. 

Court support and care for youth of all ages for families in conflict or in court or social service situations all merit special attention with ongoing regular team support.

Monitoring minors could help them understand the legal guidelines for living a free society (their legal guardians or parents are responsible for there actions and whereabouts largely until they are age 18, and even have support requirements or options in many states such as MA through age 23 for insurance, college support if having funds and so on. If divorced, parents can be mandated to pay for some college support if they have the means for instance.

Many colleges will not forgive tuition if a student cannot do their coursework or dies, so life insurance would be important (or tuition insurance which more colleges are offering.) Hopefully everyone can pull together to coach one another with a greatere sense of team aand fari play.