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Many Voices can open up Many Choices

on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 19:44

Many voices can open up many choices--with added info!

I have been doing advocacy for all parents and adults to voluntarily learn about ways to care for children and even themselves. Our society is designed to allow people great freedom and then to arrest them when they “break the law.” There are many domestic abuse laws as well as ways to nurture self and others, care for children and elderly on www.theduluthmodel.org with free print-outs of “power wheels.” Taking 10 minutes to look up these key sites could save people 10 years and more of hassle, that’s a better deal than most get on whatever car insurance they may switch to. Ideally, everyone has not only car insurance but can find ways to learn about the new healthcare options through Obamacare.

The concept of “universal care” is one everybuddy can voluntarily explore in schools, at work places, in towns and even in one’s family and other groups such as at www.toastmasters.org which promotes public speaking and team-building to run effective, timed meetings with an agenda. That concept could be borrowed with people sitting in a circle and agreeing to let each person share for 5 minutes about what they are doing in their life or on a certain project.

The terms “nonviolent communication and mediation” could be other exciting homework assignments for 10 minutes online. The more people take time to enhance their own PLANS (People Living and Learning with Agreements and Networking through Schools and Society) the more likely success will meet them more readily.

Find many valuable titles at www.civicresearchinstitute.com including www.domesticviolenceabuseandchildcustody.com (which I have a copy of and can speak to folks about online or within the tri-corner area of CT-MA/NY and Representing the DV Survivor which is a critical book for the 25% of women trying to leave a relationship legally, particularly with children, to secure primary or sole custody since that is in their best interests to be 'safe and together' with their protective mother. When parents are truly both emotionally, physically and sexually safe and appropriate, then shared parenting is generally a reasonable plan.

Still, most women do not think to get help screening for abuse of themselves or their chrildren since FEW OR NO professionals in the medical, therapy, or educational or even legal fields deem that important whether beginning or continuing in a relationship, either dating, mating or having children, separating or divorcing etc.  Well after divorce or separation, children should be monitored for safety, since www.lundybancroft.com indicates however an abusive man mistreated his wife will likely spill over to how he acts toward his children.

All adults need to be more vigilant in monitoring for abusive behaviors towards women, children, the elderly or handicapped, and yes men too. It is a community coordinated response that children, teens, adults and leaders can all PRIORTIZE and find effective ways to respond to 24-7 a day, 365 days per year. How would you rate YOUR TOWN and STATE on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being 'criminally neglectful of these issues, and 5 being decent and effective to some extent  and 10 being very clear and capable at keeping kids and moms as well as women and others SAFE day and just as importantly at Night.

All the best to everybuddy as a new school year whether at home, at work in classrooms or on sports fields begins. Feel free to share ideas and learn more at www.livfully.drupalgardens.com. Many voices can open up many choices as our future collectively unfolds. Let US-All find ways to validate each other in pursuing lives that respect life, nature, our resources and world and the greater good.

 

Catherine Palmer Paton

 

Falls Village 

 

Comments

The tenor of our country changed for US-All as Elizabeth Smart, now in her mid-20s who was kidnapped back in 2002 at age 14 by a man from her home, spoke with Terry Gross on the NPR (National Public Radio) program called Fresh Air which is heard all over the United States. Elizabeth read from her new book titled My Story.

The hourlong interview is truly remarkable and likely will do a great deal to put the topic of abuse and violence against women and children in the headlines and forefront of our concerns, as it should be for Everyone's Benefit. Thank you, Elizabeth Smart, and your foundation for promoting a critical cause that should be part of all school and faith group curriculums.

Erin Merryn similarly broke the ice with her efforts, speaking out on Oprah and gaining legislation to educate youth in her state, I believe. It should not be on the shoulders of Victims to Protect and Inform their states and our country of the travesty our vulnerable members of society face. Reflect and share as you can, what you have heard of people suffering over the decades locally and globally. It doesn't take long to see the stories describe a series of people in control (men in power) abusing those in their domain (women and children). It is NOT all men, but most abusers ARE male. Too many men, most likely, Do Stand by and do nothing, say nothing, advocate for nothing to change to make the world and their states and towns safer for all women and children.

The most egregious lack of protection is in the courts, when women are trying  to leave safely WITH their children, full-time as expert Lundy Bancroft and others such as Barry Goldstein insist is Best Practice for keeping children 'safe and together' with their protective mothers, everywhere not only in the US, but according to international law, anywhere in the world. IF there is a natural disastser or war, best practices for the children's well-being direct people to keep children WITH their mothers. Moms need reminders and guidance too to get the help they need to be fit, safe and sober as parents. ALL Moms and Dads and other Caregivers could Welcome such trainings and coaching.

More volunteers are needed to help people with caring for family and others, such as on www.care.com We could use a site to link up Volunteers (or a mix of paid and volunteer work). Ask around and likely you will find many in need. Perhaps those doing walks and runs to raise money for good causes, or others going to theater and music programs could give 2 hours for each event they are attending to help care for others. That makes it a 'win-win' and could help a great idea catch on fast. Self-care is important too, and even group and family care, with tips for keeping things safe and fair something everyone could chime in on.

Thanks for sharing a tip or two here or with your local communities even by hanging up homemade copies of good ideas..why not do that to celebrate Elizabeth's willingness to 'get vocal, and change the local and national conversation to empower all women and children and good men too'. Maybe more abusive folks will realize it's not cool or okay to insist on their own agendas and more people can intervene early on to 'lend a hand while still on land' and help people get O-U-T of dAngerous situations short-term or better yet, long-term...

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