Candidates for Defining Coercive Control in One Line (for a French ad why not the world?)

"Whatever I say Goes!"

"Don't ask why, just comply!"

"This is not a threat, it's a promise."

"I don't have to say why, just do it!"

"Don't make me have to prove I'm right and you're wrong! Just do what I say!"

October is known as "Trick or Treat" time...and I have blog posts here on Livfully.org about how Domestic Violence and Coercive Control are 'like that', maybe a mix of dynamics where an person with more power and control over one or more adults and children (and pets) uses times of 'reward and punishment' to make people obey their every command, demand and 'request'. Is there any real planning for what the big picture and goals are and how people can work together with input from all as to how to achieve that over time that works for all of them?

Not so much the case? More of a 'My Way or the Highway" scene, a "Winner take all and no one is the boss of me" mindset. These were common messages for many who were raised in authoritarian parenting settings since the 1950s and 50s and on up (and before that as well, maybe even worse. )

As society has had more movies and songs as well as endless talk shows and yes, crime shows and even musicals (such as Oliver where a nice woman helping the orphans gets killed by a mean fellow she's with) or plenty of other shows make it clear that a woman and children were thought of as someone's property and were not given a fair chance to make a life of their own with support (maybe even as part of a group of women but have their own path to make and have to stick with their choice or situation of being a mother or with someone in marriage or other economic arrangement to avoid homelessness or keep up with appearances.)

Well that's a lot to think about but it is DV Awareness Month so this can help shed light on that difficult but far too prevalent dynamic. Here's to everyone googling more info and seeing ways to mend broken support systems (many of which have been cut back in years.)

All of that while the price for many parts of life go up in cost with fewer options for housing and other basics. So let's try to think like other countries who find ways to house people or treat them with dignity if having encampments and food and places to get cleaned up. What if we had hundreds of vans that people could use to take care of some basic needs like getting dressed and even get some rest in a safe area...So many basics need to be thought through to bring more poeple into a sense of civility and help more people feel okay about living with a sense of integrity instead of desperation or greed.

Thanks to all working along those lines. There are many ways to learn (even on youtube or at a library) and form groups to share the process. Keeping most Moms and kids 'safe and together' is a human rights recommendation during any transition or challenge. Ideally with many Moms working there could be groups of women in each town ready to 'fill in' with social and other support.

Same for Dads and caring people of all walks of life. We need to factor that into the equation of care resources and make those more readily available. Hope this blog can help spurt a lot of that each season of the year and across the lifespan.