Watch for Abuse in every season...and practice prevention (even in your mind)

Every season brings its joys and sorrows...as more people take time to garden outdoors, maybe they can tend to the 
living situations people in their homes and communities face. The secrets can be hard to comprehend, the laws and courts
or programs to intervene or punish out of whack (often revictimizing women, moms and kids..and IF there are cases of 
adult males being abused, they also can lose out..but the majority of real harm and control of a family falls to the male
perpetrators in a state and country..and the reality of courts is that they allow for that in custody cases all too often.
 
See www.barrygoldstein.net for best info for US-All today along with www.lundybancroft.com. Thanks for reposting..
you never who needs to know and how many 'family and friends' are also stuck in denial or feeling warn by the trial 
of being bystanders or feeling overwhelmed by the problems..It takes a village to SAVE a child (and their siblings and Mama)
and ongoing housing and $support needs to be part of the long-term solution  which more people could assist moms and kids
 with comprehending as team players and which may require longterm separation from the abuser(s) or highly supervised and 
regulated interactions. These provisions may start Voluntarily to Practice By Anyone--limiting communication to using a third party
 via e-mails and phone calls. Letting a 3rd party summarize and edit as needed, Keep others nearby when on the phone or in person
 with a person one is in conflict with.

 Do not allow for spontaneous interactions during drop-offs and pick-ups of exchanging kids (or pets, 
or stuff even between people who have lived together, dated, have family ties, etc). The point is to Avoid Situations and Problems by 
maintaining Social and Physical distance which could prevent some legal recourse. If there are protective or restraining orders those
 need to be followed, likely with a lot of HELP to be accountable for one's time, travel and activities in terms of planning to not interact
 with the person one is not supposed to be with or near or talk to (even through a third party). GOING AWAY for a Day or More (with One's Children-
-Do NOT leave them alone with one's abuser/ person one is in conflict with even for one night..or day, depending on the pattern of threats for harm, 
or severing ties between the mother and kids legally in custody actions, etc. 

Those are the RED FLAG warnings there is someone set on harming 
the mother-child relationship (and if it's a father-child connection at risk, the mom needs to be very clear of the Reason that may be Necessary 
even if she doesn't want it..but if she's being abused, it may be the best action in terms of getting help early on even though many courts and 
professionals will not know this. Talk about Confusing...IF a Dad is really being mistreated when a safe Dad more help may be needed, but 
most courts in the US will favor Dads in custody matters, even if not being safe. Okay, more later...thanks for thinking of ways we can really 
think things through for the next generation facing overwhelming terms of marriage, divorce, safety and custody...