Sharing Tara Brach's Coaching to Respond with Kindness, Not React
https://youtu.be/ymPF0q7U5oM Tara Brach shares helpful ideas... "Neurons that fire together, wire together" so fear can beget fear and love beget love. You have a choice about how you respond to your thoughts... You don't have to believe Everything you think..Let the light of awareness come through...'Why do you stay in prison when the door is Wide Open?"
See braintime.com too for free talks about how the brain works... Thoughts are 'real' but not true... what if you were watching a movie and someone were saying that... What if you are having a dream or someone else is telling theirs... Some people argue over what has happened in a dream or from years ago in terms of how they felt not necessarily what was done to hurt them intentionally. Insisting that the person who said or did something one found offensive or hurtful was intentionally doing so or should be held fully accountable, possibly punished socially or otherwise, does not make 'common sense.'
Those feelings and ideas could be mapped out, journaled about and acknowledged as 'real feelings and thoughts' but not truths that played out as one believes they did back then or even presently. The therapy of getting curious, as though watching a movie of oneself, and tracing what feelings and beliefs one held back when it happened or even currently ..then exploring what the basis of those might be.
Maybe there are repercussions from prior situations or relationships, feelings of being embarrassed or having a trust breached (intentionally or otherwise by that person or kind of situation or another one.) When one can piece together the history of why someone may be holding a certain attitude and judgement then one can then 'take off the armor' and take a rest.
The issues can be considered again a little later, but allowing oneself to 'take a breather' and look at things in a new light, from another perspective, and even allow compassion for oneself to move through feelings of hurt or confusion, wanting revenge or to have things be different...can all be healing more than one may even know is possible. Let's throw the door to possible 'replays' and alternative ways things could play out..with one's Bigger Self having compassion for one's Smaller Self, a Modern self helping a Past self and so forth. Thanks for considering my ideas spurred by Tara Brach's sharing...
Can you put your hand on your heart center...and Say to yourself.. .Please don't think negative thoughts...and Please be kind and feel in one's body...and ask 'I'm sorry. I love you." There's the ho' opono pono... which is about apologies and balancing and loving... to melt away conflicts and hurt feelings..even if not spoken directly or aloud to the person one has a concern about. Thanks for sharing this and considering ways you have figured these kinds of things out or what your challenges doing so might be... Maybe the handle of the door just needs turning... one person (oneself... and then one other ) and one day at a time.
