Sharing Ideas With Maria Horn, CT Rep for NWCT and Our World In General

I am hoping more people can consider what is shared on NoLiesRadio.org (and some that I summarize on livfully.org). As some say ' when new evidence comes forward that should be considered with an open mind and fair discussion.' 

Those points are covered regarding all sides of a topic, whether 'for or against' or on whichever side of believing one may have been on initially or considered over the years about many controversial topics. 

The cognitive process is explored and likely that needs more consideration  as well by all people and students as well. 

Thanks for providing a forum like this. Some community forums block sharing sites such as the one mentioned above...even without a reason or viewing.

The more people are silenced and free speech is disallowed even when done respectfully and in the name of truth seeking and the common good to inform people about present and future matters, the faster as fascist kind of rule (if not law) can set in...and take towns, states and countries 'by surprise'...

I've been hearing about this kind of behind the scenes and erosion of basic protections for decades..Language is key on many fronts for 'how things play out.'

 Even regarding the turn of events (whatever was said or written to direct officers to investigate or begin an arrest after he did not comply with requests or orders) of Eric Gardner's life that resulted in his untimely death due in part to the illegal choke hold used, the initial interaction may have been due to 'a written order for his arrest' (although I am not certain of that, a police advocate summarized that as the reason for the intervention and subsequent arrest.)

Other key areas for people to educate one another about (ideally with online and small group advocacy in each state and local area near court houses etc) include legal matters (divorce, domestic abuse and coercive control, custody matters, options to living together or apart voluntarily with oversight in terms of places and people who could be on each person's support team, pacing relationships, monitoring everyone for emotional and social fitness and understanding of how to express oneself (in writing, online, in an email. in Facebook etc, and on the phone and in person in a group, in a meeting, with one or more other people in conversation, in confidential groups (such as 12 step or NAMI or other supportive groups) which may have 'deal breakers' if someone is saying or has harmed themselves or others (threatened harm or suicide, harming pets or even property, etc)

 Various agencies have their own rules and regulations. Hospitals, mental health and many other places such as schools and libraries, community centers and faith groups have their own 'rules and regs' so that the state or federal laws may be put on the back burner.

 People can be banned or otherwise deterred from being in certain settings or speaking to people whether with restraining or protective orders or any number of 'policies' (safe church policies for instance, Scouting and other guidelines about having two adults with children for instance or being in a visible place (or with a door with a window panel in place, etc).

 These are just 'the beginnings' of man laws and policies from various agencies that have been put in place in the last thirty years. Not that they are implemented or done so routinely (although in schools there may be a more strict need for reporting and such to not look biased or negligent in reporting.) 

 There's basically a great deal of education that would help fill the gaps in many people's understanding of 'what's legal, allowed, fair, and so on' with people of each age and in various settings.

 If people had a guidebook to review regularly (and even have some quizzes to see what is sinking in and be aware that some challenges can arise in short period of time such as among friends, with parents okaying dangerous outings even against agreements made with other parents or against community or school suggestions (which may not be formalized but could echo what is expected of students at private schools or sports teams or even faith or scout groups and outings etc.)

 The safety of people's homes needs to be encouraged as a reasonable aspect to shed light on before having guests over...guns need to be locked and unloaded (or whatever the guidelines are along those lines.) On that note, people who have mental health challenges, domestic abuse issues, drug or other substance issues could be encouraged to not have guns voluntarily or at least not to have them in their own home.

 Perhaps there could be network of people who are stable and own guns legitimately and are skilled with clear 'de-escalation skills' and so forth  to be available to others in their community to address concerns (of course for immediate problems that may prove a deficient strategy.)

Overall having more information for women, men, transgendered people, children, elders and 'everyone else' about what they may face in life due to their age and stage in life would be very helpful. I have many ideas I have shared (many inspired or conveyed by others) on my blog livfully.org that could be helpful for our country and world to consider at this time.

 A basic gap that needs filling are guidelines for all parents and adults who are responsible for children (who ideally should not be left home alone or otherwise on their own) to follow regarding not doing dangerous activities, taking children on trips without parental permission from both parents or even two adults if it's a big trip and some practical consideration would be in order (for more than an overnight and on any long distances for instance, even among family members.) People often 'assume that would be fine' when really it could be grounds for a legal violation or other major complication.

 All parents and guardians (even at camps and private schools) could spell out 'parenting or care giving plans' and clarify when youth or others in their care will be or can be alone or off doing certain things locally, for school, work, programs, faith or recreational purposes.

 The idea of clarifying is to shore up gaps in coverage and help everyone appreciate the job and skill required in putting in daily efforts and coordinating with others.Checking with DCF or CPS guidelines would be reasonable for people of each state to do before and after having children since the regulations are often being added. 

Same with custody and divorce concerns...and domestic abuse and protections which are always a 'work in progress' and come with 'no guarantees of protection' even from agencies and courts which are again 'a work in progress. See more on CA Protective Parents Alliance and Lundy Bancroft.com which offers support for victims as well as basic guidance all men and adults would benefit from to 'not cross the lines' into abuse and harm and worse.

All schools and towns would be wise to learn more about these 'underlying often hidden concerns' as a matter of public safety and then provide more protective support for all victims of abuse whether youth, adult, or elder (or pet or property) using natural networks (and providing people with cell phones, regular phone or visits at safe public places and more personal interventions and safety planning as possible. 

The agencies alone cannot do all that people need and deserve. Leaving people in peril should not be done 'as a default' with no idea of helping more effectively. Sadly the violence that has been in the headlines in the past half year in Sheffield MA and in southern CT (with a family being killed by the biological father who lived with the family in MA and the death of a mother in CT should help more people seek basic safety awareness and even personal assessments for things they may not be able to comprehend or see as a danger.)

 In order to cope with close social violence (in a family or among 'friends') denial can function to help one minimize the fear and to keep functioning in other aspects of one's life, or maintain some benefits such as financial or childcare the perpetrator or their supporters may provide.

 The game board is not unlike a complicated chess game. Then if agencies and legal interventions or actions  are taken, that can further complicate the rules or dynamics. For all the importance domestic abuse and bullying have in society and public safety realm, there is very little education about sexual assault, domestic violence or other forms of abuse and control. Why the huge deficiency?

 There could be a comprehensive website with a lot of 'codes' to help people discuss things that are hard to spell out or piece together. There could be role plays (again online such as the play Will You Hold My Child...? which was performed in Torrington CT a decade ago or more.

 Susan B Anthony had a special grant twice for a half million dollars to fill this educational gap and it was an upward struggle with little to show for their efforts I think. Many people would rather look away and hope for the best. 

The courts can be deficient and in great need of clarification particularly about holding abusers accountable (and even educating police and the public about primary aggressor laws which can take 10 years to effectively implement in a rural community.)

 State laws vary so our tri-corner area would benefit from hearing what happens in Dutchess County NY and the Berkshires of MA. Barry Goldstein has written a great deal to help people understand matters and proposes early intervention in his book The Quincy Solution.Ideally more young boys and men in general would want to step into the conversation and consider societal influences (sports, music, expectations, social roles) and more and the modern norms for consent and accountability in relationships. 

What is extra difficult nowadays is to realize 'everything is changing' and can get very complicated. Matters such as mental health or aging can present their own challenges, and again more discussion would help (with online resources for people to have meaningful help well in advance or when dealing with a more sudden turn of events.)

 Having group support to take precautions for caring for someone and not overextending one's own abilities would be helpful to spell out as well. Often a spouse or family member gets feeling 'they have to care for another person' and there really aren't resources and people necessarily ready or able to fill in even for respite care initially, let alone take on a guiding role.

These kinds of challenges will be burgeoning with an aging population and with fewer caregivers in natural networks or nearby or in rural areas. Again with foresight a host of caregivers could be housed in each area to be ready to help people before they even know they need help.

 Ongoing training would be helpful for many people to feel clear about their next 5-10 years and creating positive options for aging locally if not in their own homes as desired. 

Travelling and networking likely could be factored into more people's lives (even to small urban areas for see a play or make friends etc) or to warmer climates as needed with more coordinated efforts, exchanges and businesses. Thanks for letting me think some of these matters through here, with plenty more from over the past five years or so on livfully.org.