Online Folks, Live Calls, Replays and Inspiration

Hope eerybuddy can find  some inspiring youtube videos, live FB, replays and current zoom.com meetings from various thought leaders and updates on COVID19 and other concerns and ways to think about things, even the nature of our beings (whether mainly spiritual or 'just human' in our physical form. Many of those questions are explored in other posts on this blog and again online.) 

 Now for some inspired reflection..almost another post really but I typed it out, so here it is..While this involves reflecting on our teen son's passing in 2009, just consider the larger topics raised about facing sudden challenges, ways to prevent more harm by reflecting in serious ways about what happened in the past regarding any challenge or turn of events.

Often things happen just under the radar of breaking the law or figuring things out since life moves at a clip (fast) normallly and in complex ways. Some say the earth is sighing a breath of relief having people slow down, Likely many mediums would say it's a good time to feel more intuitive and even reflect on the legacies of those in spirit or have died as one may prefer to consider things.

The big question we're not quite processing out loud is what happens when one dies not only physically but spiritually? Is there evidence life goes on beyond the mortal realm?

Those questions are explored more in other posts. As for religions and specifics, that is also explored a bit for examples of key questions and ideas the media could and really should cover, but oh yeah, Doesn't! I try to help others by example be brave about Asking Questions, Sharing Information and Theories and Giving My Own Two Cents since that is a key part of processing info. Again it sets an example and feelings and beliefs can shift over time and be enriched by hearing from others...

So back to this set of reflections...in a wider context that hopefully can resonate with pretty much Everybuddy to allow difficult conversations (even in one's journal or with a friend or appropriate agency or other helper, but mind all the mandated reporting guidelines if sharing incriminating information about any one or more people....which again could be clarified for people seeking or needing help.) Sadly many systems do 'too little too late' or do not prepare victims for how ineffective or inept many systems can be. That can be in part because they could lose government funding for instance for criticizing the government, even in democracies.

Every victim of abuse (and basically all youth could learn this in school online now or all women and men could be informed) of The Office of Victim Services..and more efforts to show support to people in need, without having to press charges could be explored. Look up what that office provides in your state and let's find ways to validate victims and help more choices be readily available for more to access. especially with this modern day challenge creating quite the stir.

Many have seen in other posts the memorial for our teen son Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton which is in ten minute segments and shows hundreds of people gathering to celebrate his life about a month after he passed. There is more I'd want to offer about having faced the 'unimaginable' of losing a wonderful son suddenly, no matter the circumstances. I have been hearing from End of Life Doula (EOLD) support people who I've gotten to know that 'it's okay to wait a month to have a funeral.'

I realize many people feel 'the sooner the better' and likely about a week or two makes some sense...even if some traditions do everything 'that day or within 24 hours'. This is not where I was going with this post initially, but clearly there's plenty to consider, and likely some organized groups could offer some kind of gathering (even if primarily online in these 'strange sweeping new times of physical social distancing...'

 For the sake of the person's spirit who physically died, holding a vigil for three days after someone passes, if possible near the body, is an idea to guide people along the lines of 'bidding a loved one farewell' and helping their spirit transition peacefully to the other side.

That is an idea I had heard and tried to hold 'in my heart' in terms of reverencing the time almost from the beginning of hearing my son was on 'the other side'. No one actually said, "He die." Or "he drowned.'

For me at that time, I wanted to lean into the spiritual possibility and likelihood that 'his spirit transitioned' and go with the miracle of the soul's ongoing existence and the mystical connections between people, whether mother-child, parent or grandparent and offspring, siblings, cousins or more. Since we hav a large family I leaned into the many amazing 'spiritual ties' he had with each person in that social group.

Had we all lived in the past and signed up to go through this life journey together? How had my parents meeting on a beach in their early 20s (in the mid 1940s) play out such that they had many children who gave them many grandchildren, only to have one pass in such a strange turn of events? Was it fate or part of our collective wake up call to value each person and part of our lives all the more?

Since his passing was broadcast in terms of 'being missing in the river' and quickly as part of a 'recovery effort' rather than a rescue, everyone had reason to be more cautious around a fast-flowing river. When people learned there were a group of teens 'some of whom had jumped into a quieter looking part at the edge of the river, from rocks high up' many felt they may have been asking for trouble.

Only much later, at the memorial service was it explained how the part they were jumping in 'looked safe' in terms of not flowing fast or steadily. The undercurrents caused by the falls closeby became identified as the deadly force the youth caught in it faced by surprise. Kaelan had jumped in twice and gotten out. He had been there a day or so prior with adults and had done that a few times.

Tragedy could have struck then. The need to clarify reasonable outings and protocol for everyone to follow has swept the country and taken on new meaning. We all have time to 'stop and think' So why don't we? The kinds of accidents and dangers that typically claim someone's life involve high risk-taking, a sense of 'just watch this' that pushes the limit.

Plenty of people, mainly guys but some younger women also, jump from 'on high' with no clear safety protocol in terms of support for rescue if needed or better yet, careful consideration of the wisdom and possible consequences of many dangerous stunts whether on land, in water or something else. With skill and training many 'learn their limits' or how to come out alive.

What could improve is a thorough process to investigate a death that occurs with interviews of all in attendance as well as their parents if minors. The way to implement better preventive measures is to learn what caused the trouble 'in the first place' or leading up to the risk factors, injuries and fatality. These things could be done voluntarily or with 'pressure' due to a civil law suit which can require depositions.

Those avenues can be costly so all the better for there to be professional guidance and basic standards set such as taking photos and as much as possible, videos of people who are at the scene of an accident or quesitonable set of events. Drug testing  could be done (which as far as I know was not needed  part of our son's or his friend's  risk factors that day or likely not in general...but often that is clearly a factor, as is youth itself.

That could have cleared some of the air and remind people that there are other concerns that can prove troubling if not fatal, even for those 'not in the water struggling' but wanting to help which is what happened after my son had jumped in and gotten out twice.

He may have tried to warn his friends that the current was too strong. In a sense that's what much of this blog is about, even prior to the COVID19 outbreak which put more people at risk for a virus. I was not 'looking for hidden dangers' but trying to point out the danger in the midst of relationships and even caregiving, ideas for more team support in thinking things through in life that have major impacts on one's life (alone or with another such as dating, having a child, parenting and more particularly clarifying roles and terms of parenting if separating or divorcing legally and especially if there are 'power and control' issues, also referred to as abuse whether financial, legal, psychological, physical, sexual and separating children from a victim of abuse.)

Sadly the latter is something our society gives lip service to knowing is not ideal yet many feel it's necessary to 'provide for basic support for the children' whether to allow the abuser primary or sole custody or to have others step in. The Safe & Together Institute offers that around the world that 'children are safer for the most part with their non-abusive parent which generally translates into Their Mother.)

The strategy to 'keep children with their mother' in all forms of crisis and change has been proven around the world to help children survive and succeed in coping through transitions and new settings, particularly after a war or climate crisis and basically in every other kind of challenge. The effort to keep children with their primary caregivers, usually their mother, is a basic human rights strategy.

The outcomes are children are better fed and cared for, adjust and come through challenges far more successfully. We likely need to put language in place to promote steady caregiving even in our modern age particularly with this recent health concern when many women may be caring for others who are ill. Ideally every community, state and country would promote practical caregiving and support needs (for childcare, food and transportation for starters.)

Monitoring one's health and caring for others, from childcare to others with supervision needs including all minors as most states hold adults accountable for youth's recklessness or endangering or harming others such as with reckless driving and harm. In addition all parents with children in custody plans legally are held to a higher standard by the other parent if not the court to follow 'common sense' and safety guidelines in theory.

Yet children with an abusive parent are also actually victims of domestic abuse and suffer many maladies in life because of that. Informing more people, generally men, that there needs to be respect and accountability in their 'thinking and actions' would be a good first step. Many people, especially men, have heard of healthy competition or being tough to survive and fall into overbearing if not outright abusive patterns of using people as objects or an end to their personal means.

 Unfortunately even in times of crisis, while many are striving to keep a caring, friendly mode, others are feeling fearful and poised to 'do whatever it takes to defend their families' or at least themselves.

The kind of defense we need is collective positive thinking to help one another cope with an array of concerns, practical and potential. There could be ongoing think tanks to address many issues, and again as much as possible, online free help (at this point, maybe a tab could be run up for people to cover or get donations or funds from other agencies and so on later to cover.)

People with young children, pets, elders and many with special needs as well as pregnant women and others who may be requiring more assistance could be prioritized in every community as having speical outreaches online and possibly in very small groups for visits from a distance, from a car for instance if not another kind of 'protective space with microphones or phones to promote communication', filling social needs and learning and support.

Speaking on the phone or even outloud to oneself on a message machine or zoom.com platform and recording oneself to send to someone or listen to later would all be reasonable. Some ideas include reading children's books and telling stories about one's life and days for kids (your own or others that may be interested whether locally or as part of sharing in general...)

More college students could consider making audios if not videos for other students to hear what they are learning in their fields of studies to form more collaborative efforts in their area or again primarily online. Pursuing interests and sharing talents are great ways to find support and keep a sense of meaning going. 

Okay I will post this for now and reflect more on the topic I started with in another post! Check out HumanitysTeam though for their recent live video where they also mention they offer A Course In Miracles and access to some of their videos and even scholarships to some of their programs. Many places have free material and more live calls are being opened to people (and up for replays...) to help enrich one's days. Thanks for exploring these important questions, which other posts have more information about as well.

I am at peace for the most part with the idea that our lives play out individually and collectively in profound ways we are all tuning into and thus helping us evolve with love overall. See what PeaceAndHarmonyCo.com offers (David Adeleon), TheReconnection.com, and many others I have shared in recent posts. They have positive spins on What's Happenin'. Peace, Light and Good Vibz to you on your journey for healing and dealing with 'new normals...'