"How I Got This Way" and why I don't want to change back to trusting too much and knowing less

Here's a post I shared with some few thousand in a local FB group after some took issue with me sharing the Lawyers Committee for 9-11 Inquiry petition and other indications that we likely have not heard the truth, the whole truth and nothing but...the truth regarding 9-11.I have written to the Lakeville Journal and other papers before the web was a forum. I joined Facebook as far as I can recall after our teen son Kaelan's passing.

I always believed what was on the news (CBS, ABC etc until I learned of Rachel Maddow, Amy Goodman and some on NPR.) I first learned the meaning of protests at Vassar College in the 1980s when students wanted the college to divest from apatheid connections in South Africa. There was as much to unlearn as there was to learn...and there was an array of opinions. Finally I learned more than I ever expected to by having to go to court many times..I would hear quite a few other cases, in both criminal and civil court (in Bantam and Litchfield CT.)

Then I learned more of what was happening in our country through a few weekend conferences over the last decade from BMCC (Battered Mothers Custody Conference.) Again I was in disbelief in learning the number of ways and times women and children were summarily injured or done in by abusive men on many levels even in these modern times. Finally I learned that a federal law would be needed to 'clean house' in every court room to protect women and children (generally they are the ones in abuse cases.)

Thankfully the CA Protective Parents Alliance folks, particularly Connie Valentine, and others helped craft Resolution 72. That would give courts in America ground to give custody of children temporarily (if not longer hopefully) to the victim of abuse for everyone's safety (that's people in and near the family, the courts and the public at large.)

Some of the info people could consider is that children are victims of abuse when their mother is being abused, that police are at greatest risk for harm when responding to a 911 call for domestic abuse and that a federal law provides for abusive people to not own or have guns. Those basic safety measures are allowing more clear standards for the community to back and raises the bar for everyone's safety and even life planning. House Res. 72 has not passed, mind you, but it could be key way to keep victims and children safe in a custody dispute.

Meanwhile the Safe and Together Institute headed up by David Mandel is trying to revamp social service systems, legal options and more in this country and others (who invite them in or take online programs) to highlight the parenting choices both parties make... after educating them as to the safety boundaries and practices of our modern times. We've all seen more with the #MeToo movement calling for all men to behave themselves, and yes, women too in terms of respecting boundaries both verbally and physically (including sexually to only engage with another person when there is truly mutual consent. Even there the 'ages of consent' and terms of who can consent vary widely and are often deficient in many states, so more advocacy is needed there.

These are only a few of the areas I have learned about likely with the rest of the country. We all could consider 'we may not be hearing all the facts, all the evidence, all the policies at play.' That's where considering What IF some of what is being shared, even if not completely true, gives us a clue to what the truth is.

Also What IF what we are being told Is True...actually proves to be a Lie or Deviation from the Truth. When it seems 'no one's job' to figure such things out or think out loud, then I say it's everybody's job. Whether on the local, state or national level, more small advocacy groups for children, women and men are needed as well as for any group, business, effort and so on. Things do not 'just happen out of the blue.' Many laws and practices are written every month or year to set standards for people to comply with...or face penalties for non-compliance.

For instance if a person is directed to take medicine by their doctor...and doesn't (which may be their legal right) then they can be labeled 'non-compliant with medications' and perhaps be faced with other consequences...If someone has a mental health issue or crisis, that can come more into play. I have taken training in many fields after getting a degree in psychology along with many courses in education at Vassar in the 1980s..then I became a parent with a keen interest in learning from the now late community leader Karen Kisslinger and other leaders in our area.

I discovered the underground world of homebirthing (which only about 2% of the US was doing, along with nursing for a couple of year which was something less than 5% of the moms in our country were doing) and homeschooling (another small number.) I realized we were very fortunate in our northwest CT and NE part of the US in many ways, In our small towns, which got even smaller and more gentrified over the years, it's a miracle I could live in the towns I had grown up in and worked in caring for elders and children.

I see the differences of city living with astounding numbers of people and public transportation yet plenty of challenges to make a living and find ways to connect in meaningful ways compared to what can happen fairly naturally (or did in past decades) in smaller towns. The places to hold meaningful conversations about the world in which we live are few and far between, I have offered livfully.org as a forum to review many ideas from the local to the national and global (and beyond whether after life or of possible alien and UFO nature with many ideas shared from the web, such as Steven Greer and Ancient Aliens.) Much of that came from being in touch with Thom Reed whose step -father, the late Howard Reed as of October 2004 was my teacher and later a selectman of Falls Village CT.

Thom was featured in a free magazine in Great Barrington MA where I also was in the Toastmasters (public and personal) speaking group for many years held at the local branch of BCC (Berkshire Community College.) I learned of a few communication, parenting and mediation styles and even some meditation and use of intuition from various programs over the years, appreciating more about each person, time of the year and situations or events that unfold.

Theories from Edgar Cayce, many aspects of the Judeo-Christian religion and knowing many people in various walks of life (of various faiths or more based in humanism or other world views) have kept me wondering out loud. With the passing of our heroic teen son Kaelan Paton in 2009, I have felt everyone would want to review that carefully. Other than the few moments involved in the danger and rescue efforts at the Falls, there is no local or state or national group interested in piecing together the many aspects of what factored into that set of events.

Quite the opposite, the majority of people want to forget it and 'go on with their lives' as usual...none the wiser, or setting better standards in place to keep youth or adults safer with better preventive measures. There are a few however who give it more thought, from people saying its the town's responsibility to post clear warning signs of the danger of swimming and to post "No Swimming" Signs. All parents and adults need to consider there is a general law that parents are legally responsible for the care of minors (their own and those in their care.)

Schools could also make clear efforts to have students leave with a responsible adult on days when schedules change and toward the end of the year, particularly the last days, since those are 'higher fatality days'. Basically drinking, drugging and driving claim the lives of many young people (or others doing those things or harming others...) so those would be key areas for both adults and youth to seek to prevent from spirally out of control.

Being more informed about developmental challenges and supports for each decade has been part of an Acorns to Oaks Team Outreach (A-2020) that seeks to help us be good team players with one another as well as earthlings relying on our one shared planet (with more insight from various aspects of permaculture and other helpful strategies to see us through these coming challenging decades.) If more minors would only have a driver's permit and wait to get their driver's license to age 18 that alone would likely help more get 'back on track' with enjoying their youth and having more training as drivers both with physical skills, situational and listening skills, relationship skills and emotional maturity as well as finacial security to afford a car without being too stressed about getting to work or working too much and again creating cycles of imbalance which can factor into 'needing to cope chemically or in otherwise unhealthy ways..loss of sleep etc.'

Let's employ the concept of a Our Shared Thinking KAPP, Kids Adults Parents PLANS.-People Learning, Living and Loving with Agreements and Negotiating, Networks and Sharing in Schools and Society can help us feel like team players which we are (one way or the other.) That is similar to the concepts that 'everything gardens or plays a part in a system so to use that energy in constructive ways'. More Permaculture insights would help shift our ways of interacting to save energy and support 'earth care, people care and resource share.'

Those themes could be part of each decade so young adults, new parents and others could all find more support in transitions or facing life's challenges whether on a regular or infrequent basis. Basic law for what relationships entail and how to get out of them or otherwise adjust them safely and legally could be part of the education of youth throughout the early schooling years and then given more detail as needed and updated online.

Some schools allow for public school credit for online programs (such as high school in Florida.) ideally there could be a national curriculum for people of each age group to learn some basics to be better prepared for their lives and what's coming their way in terms of laws, needs, supports and more. Everyone could promote having more advocates and social workers in their circles, towns and states to assist people with paperwork or computer skills, doing basic bookkeepping and budgeting as in YNAB, You Need A Budget which helps people plan in advance how to manage money they earn or receive.

Now back to the timely talk about 9-11..it likely is the biggest thing that moved our hearts as a country in recent memory and merits our steadfast attention. Leave no stone of truth unturned. Brave having a review that is open and based on physical evidence and eyewitness accounts (lots of them.) Let's put the pieces and theories together so there is less chance of being duped again if that were indeed the case.