Creating a Receptive Prayerful Site and Resource Center to Help People Who Are Nearing Their Earthly End and After They Pass for 3 Days Plus (and for their Family)

A very long post title but wanting to share this Idea..The site and resource center does not exist yet. It's time is coming. Some may assume 'somebody's figured this all out', how to help people when in their dying days, how to 'be there' bedside or as near as possible physically and emotionally ...and spiritually even if not there in person. Once a person dies, from whatever cause(s) whether illness, injury, or intention by another or him or herself, the physical body is no longer in pain yet the transition may be more complicated than many have considered not only, and for some more than most. If someone is unconscious or fading in and out, that can be mixed with times of feeling pain or having difficulty breathing.

If someone has been injured there could be bleeding and broken bones and such that cause pain and other complications 'on their way out.' Certain conditions can result in fluid build up in the lung or in the body (edema, for instance.) These conditions can be troubling for the person to experience yet generally their is medication to manage pain. The other set of factors around someone's decline is comprehending and accepting the turn of events.

If someone is ill or elderly with symptoms of decline, then there may be time to gradually accept the idea of someone's mortality, whether the person having the experience or close family and friends or medical people being able to assess matters on many levels.

That can bring up another set of issues for all involved depending on the relationship they have with the person over time and even over their lifetime if family. If they have discussed options in advance, ideally over the course of a number of years about 'what-if' scenarios, that may ease the actual turn of events around someones physical decline and passing.

Spiritually if they have had time to heal challenges or make peace with their past (as indiviiduals as well as in their relationships and dealings) that can also be key to feeling more peace around someone's passing. Once someone actually breathes their last breath and has no brain function, their heart may still be beating. Some people who have planned to become organ donors or whose family or health representative, proxy or agent (various terms are used and laws apply in each state so always good to be up-to-date including with terms such as a MOLST, a Medical Order of Life-Sustaining Treatment which can clarify for the medical people what one's wishes are with specific paperwork to allow them to proceed as one has planned with their health care proxy.)

By the time someone dies completely whether natural by not being put on life support or by being allowed to do so after coming off of life support, or after having their organs donated (which is generally done if possible while the heart is still beating as in when on life support) then a person's body has died. Their spirit may possibly still be 'very much intact' and have an experience in the course of moments, hours or a few days in terms of transitioning fully out of the body (and the energy field associated with it, the chakras and auric field or the astral body area close to the body.)

I am not that well versed in the many theories but they abound around the world and online there is plenty to ponder. We don't have a national or worldwide clearing house to coach people along these delicate matters whether a death is expected or happens suddenly. Another post on this blog tries to clarify the various ways a person may pass (not breathing or losing their heart functioning, for instance no matter which parts of the body are initialy affected. The attention generally goes to family and friends yet seldom in a meaningful way 'to the deceased', their body and their spirit which may be in transition.

Waldorf Schools which are growing in number around the world in the thousands to help nurture children's spirits as well as their minds. These programs are based on the work of Rudolf Steiner. He is worth googling for information about health, gardening, the planets, the dying process and a view of reincarnating about a third of however long one lived in years later.

Developing discipline and healthy habits for eating, lifelong learning and being part of a caring 'threefold community' are some highlights of his works. His view are not without controversy but offer an important theory that can inform our experience. The media and messaging about death and the hereafter is dramatic and focused on the pain rather than the hope and courage to journey on here on earth and above as spirits. Some say 'what you believe' will color one's experience and perhaps there are some 'bumpy transitions' but overall most mystics and healers (such as Edgar Cayce and much of the world) paint a picture of growing possibilities.  

Rudolf Steiner and likely others promoted the idea of a vigil for the body for three full days initially after a person passes. A recent movie called The Parlor describes the passings of three people at various stages of life with care given in more traditional home-based ways. The Home Funeral Alliance is online and has information for people to use early on in their planning process. Ideally every state could have a 1-800-JUST-DIED number with people in networks to respond in helpful ways (with better plans with funeral homes to have a refrigerated area rather than embalming fluid and ideally a more open room or open casket rather than a closed casket to house a body initially (for those few days.)

The book Living Into Dying and many websites can fill in the blanks. A website with fifteen minutes worth of reading for 72 hours that people could sign up for (or read along with a person who is actually reading on the site) would be helpful. The person could be listening to the words or reading the text silently. If I recall the theory of 'reading to the dead' by Rudolf Steiner, the deceased can read the thoughts of someone telepathically as it were. The stories can be helpful for the spirit's transtion which happens over the first few days of his or her passing. Lighting a candle as it is safe to do so (or really having one done on the website which could be a live ongoing 'service' to assist people in their transition0 is what I'm thinking would be very helpful and healing on many levels. The people who knew the deceased could sign up (even in advance as in when the time comes I will do 1 or more of the 15 minute spots during the 72 hours, which could be numbered 1-72.

The actual times could be added as needed but also could be 'universal in terms of setting up the basic website and allowing people to join in for their planned time that corresponds with the day things happen. The list of 72 hours could be marked for example from 3pm on Fri 12-15 to  3pm on Mon 12-18. The quarter hour readings could be lettered A-D if that would be helpful. Then if 24 people were doing the readings, each could do 1 hour daily (ideally two separate half hours to not get tired and to be practical, or 4 quarter hours but for now let's go with the hour.)  A computer app would be rather handy for this kind of support.

They could sign up on the list three times for an hour, so the 24 people would each do a total of 3 hours to cover the 72 hours. Others would ideally be 'at the ready' to be bedside, to prepare the body with any washing (and possibly applying massage oil which could be soothing to the spirit in its transition) and dressing in simple clothes or a shroud. These are details that a group could work to prepare in advance, and again with a cental organization in each state with many chapters regionally and locally, that kind of assistance would be much more readily available to more people.

The spirit of the person could also according to some theories such as Tibetans, reincarnate the very day and hour of its passing, into a newly fertilzed human egg. People may want to reverence that possibility. While some say they may stay in a general family grouping, others offer the idea that it could be with a soul group from any number of past lives. There may be an interest or reason for them to become another race, gender or have various attributes or physical or mental conditions to continue their soul development and 'balancing act'.

The point is there are many more theories than we have had time to acknowledge and reverence. We tend to focus on the physical decline and death and even the cause of the passing especially if sudden or violent. Yet the journey of the spirit is mainly ignored or not considered. Having support is very helpful since as human beings we 'can't be everywhere at once' and ideally could have support emotionally and with all practical matters to ease the experience of having someone transition physically out of our lives. The person's spirit may have messages for people in their life or for our times. When learning of someone's transition each person can 'let that life and soul speak to them' not only about their passing but about the overall meaning and personality of their lives.

If someone else caused the mortal injury or death, they can be prayed for to find forgiveness and healing as well as to be considered as a risk of our human condition. the fallibility and frailty that anyone could possibly be prone to in various circumstances. The more precautions and wisdom we use the better to live safely and humanely. Asking for help from the divine and finding strength and care for each day, sometimes hour by hour, is a shared goal. More to follow as this idea is hatching out online and in communities and with groups like End of Life Doulas such as at www.doulagivers.org. Peace, love, forgiveness, healing and growth for one and all here and beyond and yet to come.