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Breathing Calmly & Saying"Whatever You Say" can be helpful or even a simple "Okay" when someone is upset, giving advice or correction, or insisting you listen or agree with them...(not that you are Saying you agree just not disagreeing, see the diff?)

on Sun, 10/11/2015 - 18:51

How many times in a day or a week do you have someone drop somedirection or insist you listen to them (likely they are using a tone of voice that is annoyed, firm, loud, quick) and you are

Expected to Agree or at least LISTEN with full and quiet attention..and AGREE with them (him, her or a few folks even).

If you say hardly ever, you may be brushing things off or in more of a leadership role in your social circles (and maybe are expecting others to give you more respect due to the roles, social status and other factors (fill in the blank, especially if you are in work situations, household roles and cultural roles where you feel you are supposed to take charge or at other times supposed to concede to those 'above you', who pays the bills, who wears the pants in the family (earns the money), who cares for the kids and under whose and what terms. Sometimes a mother is able to have help but generally if she's in an isolated situation or highly monitored by a 'partner' the pressure could be harder albeit different than if she were single and doing everything alone.)

Maybe it's worth making a tally of who one needs to listen to in the various settings of one's life to become aware of the guidelines one is operating under throughout the week.Graba piece of paper or start a notebook for keeping track of good ideas as they come your way with room to joornal about what works. Mind you, don't keep it out where others who may be contolling or critical of you can see if you live with others.  A safety plan for thinking out loud is important (maybe a box in one's closet for such a thing or at a trusty friend's?)

When it comes to someone setting some rules down or correcting someone, that needs to be done with care, but often is simply not. Maybe the person is under stress and feels they need to take care of business by talking rather than writing a reminder note (or posting one if it's affecting a few people or area for anyone to  be aware of ..such as sleeping baby, please keep voices quiet, or make calls in private so others do not need to hear.

Likely a bonafide basic list of considerate behaviors and helpful tips could be listed here and sold in stores (maybe put on grocery bags or re-usable ones) to promote higher degrees of common courtesy. Categories for Speaking and Listening, taking turns and asking people to stop talking or simply giving the signal one needs to limit the time, topic, people, place and so on of a conversation or gathering could open up the list-making options.)

Yet when one bumps into one of those times or people who are insisting on their own terms for an exchange of information (even if one-sided in terms of one person getting to say something and the first person Not Wanting a Response other than an Okay, give them the Okay...and fine tune later.

IF they press you to say you agree with them on the spot, likely you can buy time by saying I'm glad you told me what was on your mind, or that you let me know what you are thinking. I will think about it more now. If the person is agitated or difficult, responding with, "Whatever You Say" can help them ease up in their pursuit of power and give them a moment to regroup.

Ideally leaving the situation if possible or saying ' Okay (so and so, name..we can change topics or ) Let's talk about ...

something else (name a neutral topic or something they may feel is relevant for them to consider, a mutual interest or friends or family in common.)

 Try not to say "BUT". Maybe say "AND" to help yourself transition and bring them along with your train of thought and sense of continuity.

Mostly you are helping the person save face and not have to dig their heels in deeper to whatever they (he, she or more folks) are feeling set in their ways about. The Barbara Brennan  Healing books depict people having various chords of energy flowing out of their chakra centers (from the base of the abodominal area up through the heart and head) with the chords going outward and landing or mixing with another person's energy chords.

A lot more than just 'talking or yammering' or even writing is going on when a person is expressing themselves or 'taking in someone's messages' (direct verbal, over the phone, e's, texts and so on with the closer in space the most challenging if difficult..and rather strong in a positive way when things flow smoothly betwseen two people. Strange how people who feel 'in love' (or lust or connection across the spectrum) can somehow fall into the red zone of difficult emotional exhanges. Maybe both are 'giving as good as they get' (one GYN doctor's opinion of abuse of women, sadly) but maybe one person is unstable (at a time or one mostly over time) and the other is compensating. Either way, Chord damage can cause disharmony in the energy fields... Okay, that's all for now..something to think about and benefit from soon and let the ripples flow wisely as they may online and in more practical settings...

 

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