Who Wants to Think About How Everybuddy Can Pitch In to a Major Public Health Problem Anyone Can Be Harmed By?

https://youtu.be/HsDrVxrpLds will be a great way to prepare for Thanksgiving and the holidays when stress can add to a mess in one's homelife, family or friend circles. Not the usual recipe for a special holiday or way to get through the winter, sping, summe and fall.

Once a community embraces the information that 'domestic violence is a public health issue' then victims and others can find ways to gain footing on 'what's not adding up to normal and nice, and find a way to check the warning sign list twice and plan and ideally act accordingly.

Most will appreciate the 'push and pull' the back and forth of a victim who may feel dependent economically if not socially and romantically on a person who unfortunately is 'broken' and abusive, controlling and erratic, dismissive and demanding.

The 'all or nothing' black and white language and pattern of being In or Out, compliant or defiant (not a luxury for many victims and much of this pertains to children Who Are Smaller and Not Mentally Mature as adults yet often wise beyond their years and ,know they are being traumatized.

Adults who are unwilling (or possibly unable) to get some input from online free anonymous resources, books or other free (and again anonymous or be aware of reporting triggers such as if one has children and they are being abused or witnessing abuse, which would mandate a counselor to break confidentiality and get Child Protective Services involved, if not the police.)

That may not be the worst thing, but if you don't know the system and how it has been deficient and what risk one's children may be at to have to live with family or friends or possibly taken out of the home altogether, then there may be unintended consequences to calling a counselor or the police of CPS or DCF (Department of Children and Families.)

The modern world is making up lists of people and places that are mandated reporters for many different concerns, from pregnant women to adults and elders with special needs or inadequate provisions. In NY generally people have a right to 'be homeless and still have many benefits' but many states have criteria that limit such conditions.

I hope more 'regular caring people' would put these matters at the top of their To-Do List to Learn About along with other seasonal activities. There needs to be an informed network of capable people who know how the systems work and get information to people early and often for any stage of life or situation.

Thanks for being part of caring networks (online, in groups, in one's area locally, statewide and nationally and even internationally. ) Many of the dynamics play out similarly when there are imbalances of power, people making decisions for larger groups with no checks and balances and basically longterm 'broken systems' and abusers running the show. It works for them but not for most.

Also there are plenty with mental health and substance issues to boot who tend to head in the wrong direction for months if not years, taking down many of the people who care about them or live near them in their path, like a runaway tornado.

Seeing an Airplane Disasters episode about Flight 254 which was heading to Bellam in Brazil, but took off into the sun, going West at 270 degrees instead of 27 degrees due to a Captain making a human error initially and his Co-Captain also signing off on that as the correct take off direction, and neither calling in their concern that they were not seeing key landmarks led to a terrible crash in the jungle.

The air traffic controller was distracted by listening to the soccer game (Brazil vs Chile) and strangely that ended when a goalie self-injured himself with a razor blade when a flare was thrown onto the field near him and caused enough commotion to end the game. With the injury, the team was deemed the winner. And it was all a hoax, with thousands of people watching being duped along with everyone watching or listening. We want and need integrity and accountability in our lives but frankly it that can be very challenging to obtain.

Even with numerous people witnessing something there is a tendency as they shared on the show about the plane disaster that their can be a bias to support one's first assessment (that the direction was correct that the pilot put down in confidence, and particularly with the co-pilot following suit and not being objective. Ideally he would have filled in his answer or consciously said aloud what he determined was the correct figure before looking at what the Captain had put down.

I have also thought the word Captain rather than indicating a single person should be defined as Cap-Ten as in have 10 people or teams supporting and verifying the situation at hand and informing the Captain of steps and his direction

. Apparently a few passengers had informed the flight attendants that they were going in the wrong direction, but the attendants failed to voice that concern to the pilots. The kind of magic tricks the Captain started to employ once realizing that they were not in the right area included listening to a commercial radio signal (but that could be broadcast from many places and really that would be something to run by air traffic control to inform them of that tactic.)

Then the Captain feld confident he was following the Amazon River and again did not report anything about his decision making process to the control tower. I kept thinking they might run into another plane at any time given that they descended 20K feet and that's when they first realized they likely were not on course. To use the analogy of an abuser, mentally unstable or substance user putting people in fear or being erratic and causing people to be truly concerned, they are not likely to know or ackowledge they are going off course or setting off in the wrong direction. The kinds of slips or mistakes if not outright violations will likely be denied to the degree that they were committed. The more serious the offense, the bigger the denial as though snuffing out suspicion of wrongdoing as well as the violation itself. 

Evan Stark shares in Coercive Control that the initial transgressions an abuser makes set a tone that never forgotten by either party. What is bringing a sense of dominance and control to the perpetrator may create fear and concern in the victim. Even if years go by where there is not that same level of harm or threat, both do not forget. That often becomes a thresh hold from which other episodes can escalate. Intimidating violence and threats can 'leave no trace' yet be very harmful and create confusion for a victim who may feel that 'things were not physical' so may not count as legally or really abusive. Most of America and much of the world is learning as they can 'what this is all about' and that can take years. Seeing it in one's own life, whether as a victim, abuser or some of each with various people and as part of a matrix in many social circles whether among related persons, close social networks (not necessarily friendly but involved in one's another's life, school, work, community, faith, interests and care circles for others.)