Let's Get the Good Words Out to Put Down the Swords of Ignorance and Despair, Loneliness and Danger, Shall We?

Tons of Tips to Create Meaningful Networks and Checklists for Care from Here to There and Back Again:  Plus 'Calling All Angels" (could you be one of them?)

I've helped people look for caregivers... with them spending about $150 on ads (on care.com and in the Shopper's Guide for a few weeks.) Would have been nice to put that toward paying people to train.

I think I'm discovering a Huge Unmet Need which means a Great Business Opportunity. Maybe local businesses can help with studying this issue and collaborating for 'Caring for Those Most in Need" to stay home safely, short-term help for someone, or longer care needs.

For instance if someone's main caregiver needs to have medical help or travel, or worse leaves for some reason, then a person may need immediate back-up care.

Each state, town and area in a town could have some 'go to people' that are well trained and vetted. I have helped people in Great Barrington (some well-known) and even through agencies in need (for very wealthy clients who wanted to limit the number of new people so asked that I stay on for many weeks, etc.)

Someone went to help folks briefly (as in run an errand.) The caregiver needed medical attention then died after a short time (due to a fast moving condition.) Asking for help from many in the northwest corner resulted in only one friend helping to watch the person on credit..

.But one person was able to help that person stay home for six months and the details still need sorting out. Every person should be able to give a basic accounting of anyone that needs help in their circles (each person offering as much info at they can on their own and then sharing with a reliable trusty coordinator, even with a code name given for others in a town and area to know how many people need help with care at home, transportation, pregnancy and early childcare...and even older childcare, funds and rides to events and programs, rides to work and so on.)

Without using real names and keeping confidentiality in mind, many services and people could likely address the needs and help provide support well in advance. I explore these ideas in letters to the editor and online too on my blog for many years. It can take months and years to understand the lay of the land of caregiving and even self-care to maintain a healthy balance and have support.

Of course if there are setbacks of any kind, another set of problems of trust and healthy interactions and networking can emerge. Medical doctors for instance could be offering clear guidance to families and individuals about the recommended coverage for care (24/7 locked doors and gates and not driving for those with any dementia would be helpful many promote but others do not.)

Also monitoring opioid medications closely as in counting the pills daily and keeping them in a locked container would be helpful for all caregivers to do but doctors do not go over that systematically (even an informed signed letter would be helpful to promote) so no one is falsely accused of taking pain pills etc and becoming the target of investigation or alleged as abusive which a medical office can and will do to protect themselves if pills go missing and the patient alleges such, even if mentally unstable and recanting later.

The investigation can go on. Plenty of PR of any problem can take on a life of its own and allegations seem to carry more weight than evidence of truth telling and a lack of foul play. Likely people want to have 'some kind of certainty and if there's a gray area it can be confusing. Better efforts to map any matter out with Freedom of Information and other ways of understanding confusing reporting or statements could help clear the air.

Yet if people are trying to sue someone or find a reason not to pay someone that is another area to consider. More neutral capable parties would do well to shed light on many matters along these lines since there are numerous cases that occur and likely future ones could be prevented by using more collaborative systems with ways to double check plans and actions for care.

That's key even for maintaining financial and legal obligations whether for paying bills for home and car insurance, liability insurance, workman's comp and other payroll of household employee expenses and keeping up with basic medical, mental health and dental health needs (and limiting addictive substances of any kind, ideally by not starting and having a supportive team to review the effects of drugs whether prescribed or not to not miss side effects whether loose stools...which could lead to CDiff for instance and may require a stool sample to be tested if antibiotics are being used, or mental decline or suicidal ideation from some psych meds etc.)

Everyone having a friend who can be an advocate and help monitor someone (even for low sodium levels or a UTI, urinary tract infection which can both cause confusion, blood sugar levels and other condition such as lichen sclerosis which is like a yeast infection but requires a biopsy to diagnose and prescription steroid cream to treat and is linked to low estrogen so in younger girls and in older women and can be found for other reasons on some males too...)

So basically lots of reasons to have healthy regular chats about 'how things are going and even 'moving along' in terms of regular bowel function and urine output...color and amount are both important to observe etc as most alternative healers know.

Ayurveda recommends warm water and juice from half a fresh lemon to be consumed in the morning to help with regular bowel function as well as warm sesame oil to massage into one's skin before a bath for overall benefits since the skin is an organ.

That's if no on in one's family or circles is allergic to sesame oil. Always check with one's doctor and other professionals about any of the ideas and topics raised here for discussion. Understanding the training and role of police is also important in every community.

Using a site such as JustAnswer.com to get an opinion from an attorney is helpful even if wondering what one should do if police show up at a home (without a warrant, they still may be able to enter the home if there is a wellness check.

A person may be directed to stay in the home (even if not told under investigation) as part of the said 'wellness check'. A person should have the right not to speak and to call an attorney but that may not be permitted. An advocate from the community who can be contacted by phone immediately and brought in to de-escalate a situation would be a ideal.

Also any help to transport an elder or handicapped person in any circumstance without using an ambulance as a first resort would be helpful. There could be set people helping as back up along these lines 24/7 so emergency responders would not be used for routine medical matters. Support for all caregivers would be reasonable also to understand their rights and have support for short term relief (immediate whether due to a medical or personal matter or other reason...)

Guidance as to options to move out for a short time (with or without one's belongings and a clear timely plan to return to collect items and possibly video the process of what is removed from the home for everyone's protection) would be helpful. That could be for any person needing to move out or for handling other issues such as landlord/tenant disputes and concerns.

Much more could be done in workshops and public education and outreach to help every landlord realize the pros and cons of having tenants in their home or on their property, especially during COVID times. Often those in need are not aware of their obligations or support to pay rent or arrange for help to abide by agreements or may not intend to keep the agreements (even to not smoke in the home for instance.) Likely someone who smokes will smoke indoors when it's raining or cold or pretty much whenever they want.

At least most have learned in the past decades that it is harmful and second hand smoke and carbon monoxide are harmful to all, especially children. Having a Legal Caregiver Agreement in place is ideal before one starts so everyone could have one 'at the ready' with others helping make sure things are legit and yes an attorney can look it over but it may not be required (in Florida I think it is however...)

We should teach all grade school kids about this since they would likely understand how practical that is and would make an app for it just to help the adults in charge get to it maybe with a game about it for fun first to break down the fears, questions and delays that come along (adding bonus points if done in a timely fashion even in the game...)

People could put on plays about 'those who are prepared and know how to allow help to come even if they can't talk or walk...and someone I know now in that situation needs help for real by the way, so please be in touch if you'd like to volunteer or consider helping that person stay in their home for the next month...and it's a lovely set up..

A few good helpers can really make a great difference and is highly rewarding for those who show up generally speaking. Short shifts of a couple of hours even makes a big difference! Bringing a child along is okay too, so stay at home folks may find it helpful to try out for a day or two weekly.

Many people do not have have plans in place for POA (power of attorney, the necessary longer form, to make financial and/or health decisions.) Finances (how bank accounts are set up and how a property is titled whether in two or more names with rights of survivorship or other ways to direct how a property would pass or be used for estate planning purposes, possibly held in a trust...and there are different kinds and often a '5 year lookback period' even for homecare, although that is still not completely the case in NY, so worth seeing what NY CDPAP offers for those that may benefit from living in that state for 6 months of the years and then returning to their other state or going south for warmer weather etc."

It's no one's job to even raise these issues, ask questions and explore 'what if' possibilities. The site CTSeniorLaw.com gives some help on their site with videos and definitions, but each state may differ a bit...and people can decide to relocate to places to stretch funds, see family or friends or pursue interests or have more help.

Thanks for considering these ideas as we are realizing the baby boomer generation is now turning 65 and up in larger numbers than the current caregivers can keep up with.

People are generally living longer and healthier lives so hopefully more people can promote 'wise and healthy social aging' rather than being isolated and consider things break down and then one goes into a nursing home, in case that's how it feels without timely support to stay in the community, even if moving in with others or in senior housing.

Hopefully more people could network early on to help each person have back up teams to stay in a community whatever age or challenge one is. Perhaps people needing housing could live with an elder or someone in need of support.

There are programs in NY matching people along these lines (usually a single person living with an elder but maybe that could be more flexible with different programs.) Many people keep an eye on neighbors and family and some people live with family to help out or afford living in an area.

There are important considerations for siblings to learn about in terms of asset (home)protection if siblings live together so worth investigating early on to meet requirements. Also adult children caring for a parent may be another way to secure a home but again knowing the details in advance may help one prepare and even make other arrangements to avoid needing to earn the home.

People in their 40s and 50s are not too young to consider the 'what if's for caring for others (their parents or other relatives and friends) or even themselves...Thanks for offering ideas here or being in touch with a PM to figure out more options for people to have help...and yes I know a few folks in need at this time to help people remain in the Community and in a home setting.

Many heroes are unsung and being tapped to the limit to make due when many others are happily receiving unemployment for weeks and months on end. So worth considering 'giving back and expanding skill sets' for many reasons to keep things in balance. It's good to have personal liability insurance too before any lawsuits may emerge which is 'a hazard for anyone caring for anyone else...'

Likely parents should be able to have some even when caring for their own child..and maybe homeowners or renters insurance covers that.. It's important for all parents and towns to clarify guidelines for watching people or any age (children, teens, young adults or older adults...) and abiding by safe driving and living (not using foul language around others who are vulnerable or do not want to hear that...)

Also important to not be risky when driving or having conflicts and arguments...those can be grounds for putting minors at risk of injury, abuse or neglect or grounds of disorderly conduct so learning to take deep breaths (and with one's hand on one's heart can help one center and achieve calm more quickly...) and allowing one feeling to pass then think of a calming or nice time one has had or a person one likes to be with even talking on the phone or doing so as soon as possible can help one redirect one's thinking and feelings...

Everyone driving should be checked regularly for skills and any decline in function short term or longer and especially when learning to drive for the first many months (have someone in the car often to monitor and fine tune routines and skills.) Be sure to check one's car and insurance as up to date (and registered...) as the Driver is Held Responsible for such things, not the owner.

Good to take breaks by going outdoors as well and connecting with the trees, green plants and looking for birds and nature (water, the sky and consider the roots and earth beneath one's feet...) Okay thanks for considering this and getting ready to network about what works for each town, school and area as each season unfolds.

PS Pls note..my friends reimbursed me but needed help figuring out how to place an ad etc so was able to open an acct in my name on Care.com but had to use a different email from the one used for my account offering services to care for people..which by the way I have done since I was young as a babysitter for many families, some for years and then elder care for years through agencies and took a CNA training and did quite well.

Still they should have said it's important to get liability insurance (but wanted us to work at their nursing home...maybe even then one should have private coverage.) Just hoping to get info flowing...and not doing this outreach in a professional manner in terms of practicing any legal or medical work.

Also in terms of that lemon and warm water. that's the Juice of a half lemon... not the lemon itself!