Here's to Everybuddy Getting Along with others in their homes, neighborhoods, towns, states, countries and more..A Tall Order but Worth Aiming for (or dreaming about)

Hello  to everyone at the start of 2021...Let's start our engines and intentions to make the most of our next journey around the sun day by day. I know someone who loved that song from Godspell and sang it out loud and clear with the album after seeing the show in Boston and plenty of times on her own too...

She may be giving that memory as she's in the heavenly band now...but thanks, Mom for all the talents and trust over the years that we would find our own voices and make good choices (or learn or offer it up if not the best outcome....and never alone as in without God's help. Her Mom had a daily visit to a church she could walk to in Torrington, CT ... St. Maron's. maybe even for a Mass, which really is a lovely way to start one's day and would be reason to get out of bed and say hello to others in the neighborhood or in more rural places, in the community. Now these things are online or infrequent or by chance. That said I do want to encourage everyone to realize there are laws about interacting with others whether in one's home or close social circles as well as in public. 

If a person causes a  disturbance with yelling (happily even but certainly in a threatening manner even if alone perhaps if drunk or upset, or addressing another person due in a manner that the recipient feels is intimidating or causing them to feel fearful for their personal safety (so that would mean a lot of adults or men addressing women or kids need to be much more aware of the Other Person's Rights and Feelings to not be victimized.) 

Unfortunately in a social group the factors of putting some people down or feeling entitled to express one's feelings and thoughts can trump common decency and simple ways of  getting a third party to relay concerns or ideas.

 When there may be property boundary issues or common use of a roadway, sidewalk or part of a neighborhood, gangs or even individuals may feel entitled to claim not only what can happen but who can use that area by some kind of 'entitlement.'

Even a parent who is helpful or a neighbor who has shown a friendly face may be victimized by the other parent or others in their social circle directly or as part of someone else's campaign to harm that person.  Those are signs of 'something not being in a healthy order...not only for the victim but for the perpetrator and their support team or others who feel they must comply for the demands...'

 Some people may feel justified to tell people directly to not come on their side of the street or their block of the street, even in a rural setting where few people are out and about.

 If someone is using psych drugs or smoking pot etc, they can become paranoid and otherwise delusional and make demands of others that make them feel more certain.

If police or more people become involved the actual feelings or concerned can become confused with the matters of restoring some peace or sorting out legal matters. 

To intervene early in a situation would be ideal yet many 'tricky situations and people' tend to lay low and undercover with many people missing key points about what a problem might be. Many things play out over months and years, with one or more people 'keeping score' but doing so secretly. 

The result may be a surprise attack on others which an offender may feel justified in carrying out verbally, in writing, or with direct personal interaction, planned or by chance.

 That means a victim and really others around the person need to remain on 'high alert', not knowing if the offender (whether in their household, local or wider area) is going to repeat or escalate matters possibly with legal or police involvement. 

There are more states and cities and programs exploring using mental health (and likely substance use) counselors to address many kinds of conflicts and concerns. If everyone were to start journaling and checking in with an anonymous website about ways to address their own feelings, concerns, and map out supports and ways to get help with others assisting, then fewer problems would 'take on a life of their own.' 

More people living with a person with emotional and behavioral issues could understand the importance for them to feel safe and have support even if the person has 'only one or occasional outbursts or troubled thinking or behaviors.' 

The household would do well to have an ongoing plan to address safety and build up ways to handle one or more person's mental health needs with particular ways to keep kids and pets and even property safe from someone's anger, despair or violence or other expressions of discontent even if directed at others or the world. 

The person showing signs of instability is the source of the difficulty and needs help over the long haul to learn to self soothe and rationally understand one's experience. That may involve weekly therapy for a year or two with specific kinds of exercises and accountability. 

Even if an abusive  or addicted person gets help and seems to have more insights however, that does not assure the person will not 'fall off the wagon', so safe secure living and social arrangements for those affected by a 'qualifier's condition whether abuse or addiction or other similar destabilizing condition should be in place or available one hour to the next if needing or choosing to mainly reside or interact for long periods of time. 

With the isolation and program cuts, more people need to hone skills along these lines and every community should have many 'go to plans' to help any in need whether due to a support system changing for someone with high caregiving needs of any age or housing or heating concerns, food or ride needs or other basics. 

Thanks for thinking on any and all of this with a team that can spell out some made up scenarios and ways people could get help quickly and over time to address such situations whether having funds or social support or not. These should be basic rights for all people to have safe, secure living situations. That would prevent most domestic abuse and other forms of conflict and violence...Best to all in healing and helpful endeavors. See more on Livfully.org along these lines with more supports than most mainstream resources can explore.