What to do About The Biden Allegations? Ignoring is not an option...and Learning for All is a Must!

This set of reflections is not to deter people from the pressing matters politically and ethically. Rather the ideas shared from various forums and a review of our modern world's history may bring to light some of the difficulties that are entrenched in our society.

The kind of story that people have been hearing in the news of a  one person harming another emotionally, socially and yes, sexually even in public with clothes on but going beyond that boundary without consent for just a couple minutes in a hallway...holds plenty for people to be concerned about no matter who the two people were or may have been.

A big take-away is to consider people may feel others are sending signals or maybe even hear from someone that someone likes them, but the next steps to take slowly would be to ask along the lines of 'theoretically...if it were appropriate, would you be open to talking about a closer friendship...etc" That's just in case someone is needing to pace the reading of this post over time so assumptions and not asking are clearly being put as first steps from here on. Other ideas are on a post from the first part of this blog, "Check List for Chicks and Guys..."

The umpteen questionst that Could and Should be asked could be enumerated for Every Such Case that has happened or was alleged to have happened so more people can have important information to being a thorough investigation or at the least Hear What Might Have Happened and What Could Be Done to Prevent Such Harm Going Forward as well as Prevent Someone Who Violated Others (and May Do So Again) to have proper supervision when around potential victims and identification in their workplace or social circles as may be appropriate to safeguard all parties, including the violator who may then harm themself or be harmed in defense, including fatally.

These kinds of things 'happen all the time, a very small percentage make the headlines, go through the courts or settlements or not, and then fade away.' If they resurface there is a host of confusion and doubt stirred up to make many people worry if not have to take a stand. The family of a violator (as well as of an unrelated victim) are drawn into a difficult set of dynamics.

If the violator is married or involved with someone, that person now has a set of questions and concerns that merit serious attention with support. Any children, whether young or now adult, also may have a lot to consider that would benefit from informed people showing support on how to 'get out the maze' and back to some kind of normalcy with better boundaries on all fronts. Some people 'cut ties completely' with the violator and any who will not support the victim's choice to disclose or to seek help or justice. That may sound appealing but depending on the age, skill and social connections the victim has with the abuser than their social connections, whether related by blood, marriage, social ties, work or local connections that may prove too big of a hill to climb.

Often a victim knows the abuser and may have been connected to them directly through social or romantic ties (dating, having a child together, sharing in care of other children as parental figures, been legally married, or financially invested in living together) or having a business and otherwise working together. There are many kinds of relationships and connections that could be 'spelled out' and I have done that in another post to help people appreciate 'what kind of social matrix and history one has had and what their life entails.'

When mapping out a situation the plot can thicken rather quickly with who knows and cares about whom. The kinds of social struggles that can come up in a familial, social or other 'closed group' whether based on a faith or cultural social group, can get complicated quickly...and shift realities for many people for years to come. With societal norms precluding people from getting help from counselors, clarifying their sexual orientaion or interest to date versus marry or to have children or not, many people may have let 'double lives' as the norm.

Many people dating or marrying earlier in life are often essentially 'growing up together' to figure out how life works and what options are really available to them. If people do not have children or have enough money to live apart, they may be able to have time apart amicably, to travel or visit family and friends to help them 'sort things out' and ger some clarity about where their lives are going.

If there are pressing needs to pay for housing and/or care for children, there may be needs for creative support (family, friends, childcare, school and camps for instance) so the adults can 'think straight' and have time to map out fair options even if one person is not in agreement. The modern times basicawally provide for anyone to determine legally whether they want to remain in a relationship or not.

In terms of actually getting people to follow through with support in terms of monetary or parenting care or social interactions online or in person with appropriate boundaries maintained (supervised, public visits and exchanges which could be amicable unless there are safety concerns in which case people may want to stay in their separate cars or have a third party or public place such as a library or school, faith or civic place to have children dropped off at then picked up a few minutes or more later by the other party, whether the other parent or a childcare provider.)

The modern world basically does not expect a set of parents to spend any particular amount of time caring for an infant, so the idea of other family, caregivers, friends and program rearing children is acceptable and often necessary.

Maintaining accountability and not having stress build up for any one caregiver are guidelines to encourage more people to do voluntarily, along with maintaining regular physical, dental and mental health check ups. Living a full life with mini-breaks to enjoy the great outdoors (even if looking out a window and being outside for short errands or a few breaths of fresh air) could become key to helping people maintain awareness that everyone needs space and deserves basic care.

The issue of abusing others is often viewed as an unhealthy need of wanting to control others, to have power over others and to take from others what one feels they are not getting but deserve. The sense of entitlement can be discussed on a continuum with more 'boundaries' spelled out for people to feel safe and cared for in their own skin and person and not be demanding or expecting others to read their mind, comply with demands or have to turn over assets and freecom to make the abuser's life better.

A man violating a woman or child is something most people can consider as a problem worth thinking about. The startling facts show that if a man kills a woman he is in a 'relationship' with, one out of three times, he ends his own life as well.

There should be much more public discussion about the warning signs and agregious behaviors he may display or concerning things he may say which could alert victims and advocates to the seriousness of his mindset. There are 'lethality assessments' done by some Domestic Violence Agencies, yet helping victims and the public hear early and often  what risk factors are is not commonly done.

There could be a series of videos and movies demonstrating the 'safer proactive measures' one could take Before deciding to date someone, have a child, get legally married, consider moving in, being in a faith group and more.

Understanding the laws and edits of a faith culture are key for more people to do to understand 'where they are in life, if they feel they Had a Choice earlier in their life, if they feel they have support and ways to consider important matters about where they live, who they live with and what their personal relationships entail, particularly if they are in a romantic relationship or living with that person.

What would be terms for 'taking a breather' (even for a day or two, online coaching and so on...all of which Could be Free and government-sponsored to inform one about the laws and programs available to one.) In most states 211 can be dialed or 211.org explored for basic resources. Likely everyone would benefit from having a team of support early and throughout their lives to help them feel supported in basic areas of their lives.

 According to the New Life Expo speakers I've been listening to for many weekends (each doing about a half hour talk and sharing info about their website and other offers so worth looking into), many say there is a major shift going on energetically in the multi-verse (that's 22 galaxies of which ours is a part according to Judy Satori.)

There are also 'infinite realities and timelines' which may affort 'any possibility being true or not true depending on a person's viewpoint. Geozuwa offers that something 'can be happening' and can Not be happening at the same time' whether past, present or future. Dream time may be a mode where one can explore these possibilities more readily as one is partly 'shifting consciousness.'

Just in case that doesn't seem 'strange enough', he and others offer that 'one can be two places at once physically. Now hopefully one would be aware if that were happening, but then again, it may be the case that is not necessary. Plenty of people have heard of sleep walking, of having 'remote viewing' abilities, and psychic abilities, or even multi-personalities.

Some of those may not 'know of one another' and some may crave things that other personalities of their own may be highly allergic to. I heard of that from Option.org in one of the books or talks by Barry Kaufman.

So what if 'we're making up our lives' and our realities? I would hope Joe Biden would actually know whether he did or did not do what Tara Reade alleges he did. If he doesn't it may be due to poor memory, coping with another aspect of himself that he's not aware of, not knowing he's lying even if he did remember or straight out lying (maybe for a good reason if not a planned strategy from his advisors.)

What benefit may be coming from many of the men who have been assaulting women before or during their Presidencies is that the American public and wider world could try to face the facts about 'crimes commited in broad daylight' and how confused the whole system if about even talking about it, other than victims who brave coming forward.

Around the world, that has cost many a victim their life, whether they told or were thought to disclose. Women's sexuality is one aspect of her humanity, yet too often a 'deal breaker'. What's that all about?

Historically and culturally it's a motherload of oppression, according to documentaries such as Goddess Remembered. Midwives who 'eased labor pains' were labelled by the Catholic Church as interfering with God's plan that women suffer in labor as a result of Eve's disobedience. Men were stuck with having to work the land rather than have free food in the Garden of Paradise. 

The Commandments indicated that there be one marriage (even though that meant men could have more than one wife they would also have to provide for) in the Old Testament. In the New Testament,

Jesus affirmed marriage was intended as between two people, (and that was traditionally understood to be as between one woman and one man.) The modern consideration of marriage in terms of equality and choice is to allow it to be between two people, but often that is not expected to be 'for life' particularly if a person is mentally or physically unstable, not safe or not aware of what the commitment entails.

Likely in our modern world we would make a much more stable society economically and socially by allowing for meaningful 'business type' partnerships to provide everyone a chance to join forces economically and otherwise (perhaps with options a la carte and create a kind of business of caring for people (infants, children, teens, adults who need care or others who would like support) as well as pets and homes, cars, and other assets and to make medical decisions or inherit assets, etc.

Taking 'sex' out of the equation in terms of why someone would be able or interested in sharing parts of their lives, assets and so on, whether living together or apart (which is not required of people who are married or have children, etc) would make a lot of sense.

The world of having children has now included surragocy, in vitro and many forms of blended families or extended family and friends as well as society helping rear children from infancy.

Still in parts of the world and in many cultures around the world, young women are not given a choice about having sex or getting married. Millions of women have suffered harm to their bodies that stems from either cultural, religious, political or financial excuses. In this time of COVID19 it would make sense to seek to protect all people, particularly pregnant women who are forced to have abortions or are abused if not done in by people in their own local areas by social, government or religious pressures or edicts.

All young humans, also called infants, deserve our utmost consideration, yet many are killed or left to die based on their gender, generally female, or other excuses. There are urgent reasons to pay attention to these human rights matters.

Domestic abuse including child abuse (and even abuse of pets) but definitely also male violence against women is widespread and not studied as a matte of survival and necessity. We could compare many aspects of DV to CV... in ways domestic violence is a disease, often fatal, not only to the victims but by their own hand or with others intervening to the ones instigating the abuse and violence.

Those basic terms deserve a lot of discussion because the type and degree of abuse can be confusing for many who may be interested in learning for their own safety, for their job, for their connection to a victim or community which the victims may be part of (such as a faith group or organized congregation that meets in a physical space,) a therapy or parenting context, a legal context (such as in divorce, custody or criminal court including seeking protective orders or a restraining order.) Youth could learn the basics and likely have insight and teach the victims more about their rights since often a victim has coped in part 'by not looking or learning' from a reliable source.

Unfortunately even when going to Domestic Violence Agencies and 'experts' or counselors, victims may not be getting the encouragement to become better educated about the laws and prioritizing their safety and that of their children, particularly in the context of finding separate housing and support whether legally or logistically.

The Domestic Violence Agencies are not designed to provide legal advice and the courts are a matrix of confusion and people who may not be willing or able to learn about advocacy effectively and implement matters in a timely manner.

Rather a woman going in for help may be given the double whammy of having to cope with legal people who are not able to help her identify and pursue safety in the best interest of herself and the children even if she is willing and able to do so economically or with other support from family, friends and systems.

The exorbitant costs of hiring an attorney at 100-400/hour can mount into the thousands, upward of a 3-10K and even to the tens of thousands. There is no point at which an abuser would be game to call 'Uncle' and even make a quasi-balanced agreement about parenting and supporting a victim even if she had been the primary caregiver of children for 10-20 years.

Since 2010 or so, few people have unplanned pregnancies or keep a pregnancy not of their choice if they do not have moral or religious feelings about not doing so. The Plan B pill is fairly readily available (and should be secured if one is in a relationship if one may want to use it since it is primarily effective in Preventing a Pregnancy but not causing one to end) if it is taken immediately or within a few days of possibly becoming pregnant.

With all of these basics covered about the modern world, we can appreciate there were no terms for 'Domestic Violence', preventing unwanted pregnancies after sex safely with a Plan B pill, nor terms of understanding work place safety and sexual harassment or assault on the job, in the military, on college campuses or many other aspects of society. We were much younger then but now we are all much older and hopefully getting wiser than that now.

Most victims of abuse that involve someone they cared about (whether a family member, partner, friend or someone they worked with, admired or otherwise was influenced by in a positive way) have a hope for 'keeping the good' while forgiving or being compensated for the bad (with apologies and support for healing on many levels.)

There is a lot of room for improvement to help victims consider an abuser may be 'broken' in certain ways that are not easy to mend. When considering the effects drugs, mental health, personality disorders and life set-backs or difficulties in the world may have on 'normal people', the violator may be 'damaged goods' and not able to find ways to get honest about the kind of help that may be needed.

The laws may send a violator into the prison or other systems that may do more harm than good even over the long haul. Even if going to prison for a while, the person is released back into society with little help and few ways to regain their standing in their community. If they really have a serious drug issue, that may be more 'forgivable' yet even then there are no guarantees the person won't 'fall off the wagon' or become controlling and abusive.

The sense of entitlement is not one that is easy to get the right help for and basically a competitive society such as the United States, often rewards the kinds of strategies of getting the upper hand, telling people what one wants and not compromising, particularly if a father 'fighting for his kids'.

That is the case even when there has been serious abuse of their mother or even the children themselves. Likely much of the modern world would not think that is the case but the studies proving that has been playing out across the country are being shared online. See Battered Mothers Custody Conference (BMCC) and CA Protective Parents Association (CPPA) 

I just read on FB that Sudan has banned harm to women, yet one responder said that would not guarantee the practice of would stop. But at least it's a start.

As for what we are doing regarding discussing at length and at least in theory what it would mean if  Joe Biden transgressed, assaulted or otherwise violated Tara RReade 27 years ago when she was 29, the issues matter not only to shed light on the plight of victims around the world from almost thirty years ago, and before as well as since that time, but what it means for the abusers from days gone by. Some may have changed 'for real', whether found out or not. Many have drawn their lines of allegiance and managed to 'have a life, but not an authentic one' if based on dishonesty or violations. Not everyone would have to be 'brought to justice' but could seek to make amends as reasonably as possible. In Joe Biden's case that would mean doing his utmost to accept that if he did what Tara said he did, he likely needs help to 'face the music' and apologize and set a standard of 'recovery counseling.' If his family, particularly his wife could also get counseling, she could consider seriously whether it's in her best interest to stay involved with him or to take break and think things over. A lot more could be shared publicly about steps that such a person could take to 'truly get in touch with who they were, how they lived their life and can be accountable going forward.' It may prove liberating for anyone who had 'gone down that road' to have a chance for an honest 'reset' and sense of accountability. That's likely going to take a few months or even a few years.

Likely at this point, many Americans would accept a sincere apology and way to make amends if he seems the only valid contender for a Presidential nominee. Since Trump has 'done the same twenty times over', if Biden had done this, then his wrongdoing would not be as severe. Ideally someone else could step forward and make a solid bid for the Democratic nomination. If a good Cabinet were assembled and clear policies put in place, the country could 'almost run itself.' In terms of 'levelling the playing field' on a basic level, women got the vote only 100 years ago. Women have given birth to all people on the planet and have been subjected to dangerous patriarchy for hundreds of years.

The world is poised to face the biggest challenges ever. Women and children have had to 'go along for the ride' with no real say in how things have played out. It's only fair to let women lead now, since our lives may actually depend on getting us out of the mess male leaders have gotten us into, as far as we know. There really likely are many 'behind the scenes' forces working to make matters more complicated and basically super secretive. So maybe it's too much to ask of modern world leaders, including those of the US to play fairly and above board as much as possible. But we can try. It may prove valuable to empower all people with 'alternative view points' and to update everyone's understanding about 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, decency, respect and incredible human powers innate to every person in terms of intuition, connecting with one's heart and co-creating healing among humanity.

More on that on other posts. For now thank you for considering these many deeper issues and the profound point we are at in our collective historical and national journey. See the previous post for the other kind of resources more people may want to tweet about. I'll wrap up with a sincere note of support to all who have faced struggles brought up in this post. Let's do better by each person going forward, take preventive measures and ones of accountability, making meaningful agreements for safety and fairness and staying the course, one day, one week, month, year and decade at a time. Every minute counts!