Sharing Sharon Mountain Horses, Healing Energy, and Wisdom

https://youtu.be/M3GaWSBTjc8 is a clip of four beautiful horses on Sharon Mountain from the past. Their owner has transitioned to the heavens recently and I found this link a bit by chance. I like to consider that a good doctor in heaven who helped people with rehabilitive techniques and loved opera is looking down on us and encouraging us all the more...to stand on our own two legs with faith and courage for these times and in relationships that benefit from cooperation and shared values.

Since this past week was one marking Thanksgiving I do want to include a moment of silence and lighting a candle of hope for healing from the wrongs done to the Natives in this country we call the United States (and by association all the other people and places we harmed along the way, including the Natives of Africa, on which the wealth and strength of our country was primarily built. I learned a lot from UHURU and they advocate for healing of the past to move forward as healing people. Lots more to learn there.)

Ideally everyone will pay close attention to the ideas shared by Marianne Williamson and other contenders for the 2020 US Presidency. She is offering a program along with Deepak Chopra on Dec. 16th, 2019 in NYC for $50 a person by the way. I hope to attend.

I met a lovely woman the other day who had cared for husband of many years, the last of which were challenging with his medical conditions.  She also has horses and a positive energy and attitude. I did share with her about our  late teen son Kaelan (1993-2009) who grew up next to this farm with the horses at a lovely nature center with owls, hawks and even an eagle in residence.

She like many said 'I couldn't imagine losing a child...I don't know how I'd go on.' As I have heard  that kind of anticipated severe worry and grief from dozens of people directly and hundreds through the grapevine I think we need to consider many more challenges on a continuum. Many kinds of illness, conflict, relationship struggles, transitions or facing the prospect of someone's passing or actual death merit a team of support well before something comes up of that magnitude.

Creating caring competent communities with clear safety plans and preventive measures can be a shared endeavor. The wins will far outweigh the inconveniences and setbacks from having more checks and balances, buddy systems and even formal consequences when someone is acting erractically or dangerously (including threatening to harm others or take a victim's children from her.)

Those elusive areas are being put in the spotlight along with the #MeToo movement advocacy to believe and protect victims, particularly women and children, those in positions of less social or economic standing and more.

Someone else shared that 'back in the day' her mother was a young house servant and had the child of her employer. It was not consensual and she later did marry and have more children.

The kinds of things women, children and men  as well have suffered over the generations by brutes and unbalanced power mongers are 'without number and beyond our general understanding and compassion.' It may take decades to figure out 'ways to intervene and safeguard people' but we are making some headway.

The cost does come at losing some 'freedom and choice' however, even on the victim's part in terms of maintaining contact with an abuser once the crime(s) are reported.

There can be delays and yet once things are reported, especially in a timely manner, the chips will fall where they may. If everyone is not aware of the llegal consequences or likely outcomes, then many people can be confused about what may happen.

That can create patterns of victim blaming (especially if the perpetrator loses his job temporarily, cannot see his children or has other reasonable consequences put in place for everyone's safety.)

Sometimes the victim herself (generally in a domestic abuse case the female is the victim) suffers the loss of access to her children and has to move if not be wrongly arrested due to allegations or even actual response to being a victim. Evan Stark wrote Coercive Control which informed the law in England to make that form of abuse illegal.

Attorney Joan Meyer has worked to do a comprehensive study of 10K cases in the US over a decade and found that abusive men got custody 80% of the time in contested child custody cases.

The female mother victims were often limited in their interactions with their children. Once we learn more from outreaches such as CA Protective Parents Association, Barry Goldstein, and Lundy Bancroft as well as Battered Mothers Custody Conference (BMCC) which has gathered experts and victims to seek insights and improve the system for the US and world for over a decade, then people can weigh in compassionately with informed 'best practices' in mind.

When I think of the doctors who helped establish medical rehabilitative practices to help victims of polio or other conditions and injuries, I realize the advocacy to prevent injury and harm is in its beginning stages among the public. People have been taught that 'their home is their castle' and that 'the man is the head of the household.' A woman was only referred to as 'the daughter of a man or the wife of a husband' for many decades in public. 

The laws of modern countries stem from systems in place over hundreds of years where women did own property or even have rights to their children if they divorced. It was all up to the men in charge. Women have had the vote for a hundred years now, after black men got the vote finally. There are gaps that need closing. Marianne Williamson spells out many remedies to set out foundational intentions right and make reparations to those who have been historically harmed and disenfranchised.

Many of the personal challenges people have faced have given many focus and meaning that can help save our very earth and continue activisim to help others around the world have a fair chance at a decent life of safety and respect with a team of support. Thanks for keeping your own house in order or at least 'open to being assessed' with information from duluth-model.org and other outreaches to inform you and as may be safe and appropriate, others on your support team.

Be careful however of trying to educate an abusive person or even others in your circle who may have other views (including denial and almost an inability to consider even egregious violations.)

Naming the problem is not a way of taming it publicly, so consider contacting or reading resources that can help one make a safety plan and gain a better sense of options to help one get a stronger footing and transition to being with other people, getting a job or other support such as transportation (rides if not learning to drive or reliable support.)

Thanks for keeping an eye out for others in your life of every age. Mental health issues, substance use and aging are common causes of concerning behaviors. Abusive patterns are on top of those and can be on and off type episodes, so try to see patterns and help victims be aware of the 'honeymoon or making up' time that may follow short outbursts of threats, rage or longer ones too.

Not pretty stuff, but call on that kind of healing horse energy of extra sure-footedness in a group of caring others, remember to de-escalate matters and get to safety not stand your ground with good reasons and resources one hopes to break through the other person's denial or difficulty with. Going out for hours, days and having back up support for kids, pets and other needs is key for anyone, especially victims. The holidays are often no piece of cake, so again plan accordingly...

Best to all and keep the faith, courage and hope that things can and will get better... Think harmony (and harm not me)...and what goes around comes around so take it easy if you feel like you want revenge etc... Keep things mellow and get to online and support groups (even without speaking for a couple of months) in 12-step programs...and taking life on life's terms, one day of thanks at a time...