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Beauty and The Beast a helpful prompt to talk shop (about relationships, friendships, abuse, cultures, laws and more)

on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 22:33
I wrote a poem inspired in part from seeing this... More people should look at what's portrayed and compare to basic 'domestic abuse in relationships'...The first few assaults that create fear in others would be offenses meriting a protective order (if Belle applied for one.) Any physical touch that harmed her or was threatening would be grounds for an arrest.
 
May as well use the 'teachable moments' for everyone to update their awareness of the big difference between theater and real life. That said, the effects on one's body can be concerning (actors doing violent things, yelling and so on)..sometimes the brain is affected in negative ways...and maybe our own as well 'just witnessing violence'.
 
That is in part why children and others witnessing controlling, intimidating, threatening or physically or otherwise harmful behavior 'even if it is not done directly to them' or even if they don't see it but knows it happens or pick up on the difficult dynamics...these are the terrain of too many modern people in America and many 'advanced countries'.
 
We can advocate for victims of abuse the world over as well...I know the play is a story and one we can appreciate 'has a happy ending'.
 
However maybe it would be helpful and important to play on the idea of a friendship and not make it one contingent on romantic love...since once the beast says 'you are free to go and you have been for a long time' would be grounds to realize he was extending his heartfelt friendship and not holding her hostage for his own needs (to be turned back into a human...and his household friends into their human form as well. )
 
She had clearly shown a sense of acceptance of his friendship prior to the final scene...At least the story did not require them to get married but that was rather strongly implied as they way their lives would go..
 
.A modern understanding of reasonable periods of time to get to know someone as a friend before getting involved in a serious romance might be helpful, especially for young people but even for older folks too.
 
Many feel they are 'in a trance' or have strict faith or cultural beliefs promoting not only marriage before closeness but many expectations about having children or caring for one another in very dedicated ways...with very vague guidelines.
 
For a friendship to begin may take a few months and likely more like a half a year to understand how someone may fit into one's life if there's an interest in spending a fair amount of time together or helping one another.
 
Sharing expenses for basics might be worth a discussion early on (outings, rides, some necessities)...and whether social friends or more romantic, again pacing would provide ways for each person to check with friends and others to help one clarify agreements, requests (not pressing expectations or demands) from another person and much more.
 
Within a year or two people may feel more clear about how their lives may complement one another, and depending on ages and interests, the next few years can be considered...possibly with more serious commitments, but not necessarily legal ramifications.
 
That requires a lot of maturity and awareness of each person's abilities, values, efforts and life paths...and not having one person over-extend themselves to meet the needs or 'demands' of the other is important. The main 'new way of thinking about relationships' is explored online and in many media with a heightened expectation of 'fair play' and moreover 'consent about being involved in various ways' with ongoing reviews and requests...
 
That can get confusing but it's basically necessary and 'the law.' Why not get more conversations like this going with 'made up examples' (not real names and such...) to raise questions and consider what options have worked for people and may be helpful to know about in the future...
 
Some important guidelines and yes, laws would make sense to review in each country and state, with more charts and awareness of what is expected and involved for the people looking into such relationships, their family and others...The terms for 'legal marriage' or common law marriage would be helpful as well as living together or otherwise sharing expenses and care for homes, cars, things, children or others in one's circles, pets and more.
 
Sharing money whether with a common account or cash bookkeeping is important to discuss and clarify. Writing down some basics can be helpful and keeping an account of any money or other important transactions (trades, work, care of kids, pets or others etc) would be good to refer to and can help people have a way to prove something was done (paid, completed, work or care done, even for a family or friend whether pay is expected or not.
 
Okay here's to more discussions flowing over time...and new tales of mutual agreements and understanding about how relationships or other aspects of life can change over time, whether years, decades or longer...hopefully with discussion and support.

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