Honoring the late Hannah Nazareth,11, of Pittsfield MA, whose life was ended in July 2015 before the parade she'd planned to dance in.

After looking at the CA Protective Parents Association site which has important information for ALL WOMEN to learn about early and for Protective Parents of any gender to comprehend, there was a resource from the Center of Judicial Excellence about children who whose lives were ended during a custody matter or by a parent, relative or partner of one of the parents.

Sadly the information is needed to inform our current situations and laws which are still highly deficient and even 'backwards'.

What typically can happen is a protective parent, generally a mother, will report concerns and even present criminal or medical evidence of abuse of herself or her children, only to be pegged a 'parental alienator.'

In a relatively short time, an abusive parent or violator can end up with shared or primary if not sole custody of the chilld/ren.

The protective parent can be left with little or no supervised parenting  visits or limited parenting time. The CA Protective Parents Association site had a request for 'other child fatalities' that may not be listed in their data base which was started in 2008. 

I thought about the case of the young Hannah Nazareth of Pittsfield MA whose body was found in the apartment she lived in with her father,Anthony Nazareth, who had been a heroin addict but had been mostly successful in his recovery.  In a Berkshire Eagle account, the mother summarized the tragic passing of both Anthony and the killing of Hannah as due to his addiction to drugs and her daughter's loss of life being 'collateral damage.'

I think more abuse advocates would place 'cause' on an aspect of Anthony's determination to assert his connection and control over "his" family and "his" daughter on "his" terms. He knew he had options and chose on his own volition to not use them. He made choices others would be forced to live with and that shows a sense not of despair or imbalance as much as it does Control. I can imagine there could have been a battle in his mind, and hopefully there was that or a clear delusion he was somehow 'taking her with him.'

I explore these tough considerations in the case of the man who claimed the lives of the people in his family in Sheffield MA in March 2019 which sadly included not only his wife of many years (both adults being patent attorneys) but their three young children. I have also met family with an outreach called KaedynsKorner in memory of a young girl Kaedyn whose life was taken by her biological father mainly to cause the mother and her family suffering.

While Hannah's mother Laurie Ames-Nazareth who lived in Florida (as did Anthony initially) had also had a problem with drugs earlier in her life, she had gone through a recovery program. She was on friendly terms with Hannah's father, who lived in MA for many years after separating (but remaining legally married.)

 He had come to stay as a visitor with Laurie and her partner and Hannah in 2010. He left after a month in the middle of the night. When Hannah was young, she had been placed in foster care in Florida when her mom was in rehab.Hannah was born  December 29th, 2004. She had lived with her mother primarily until 2014.

Because she had had a nice visit to MA (and her grandmother who was in NY) and the mother's housing in Florida became uncertain, Hannah was living with her father for year in MA. Hannah had called a friend in distress a couple of months prior saying her father was using drugs again.

He had completed an education program prior to that. But another source said he was using drugs prior to July 1st, 2015.

The talented, vivicious Hannah was going to stay a few weeks (for a literacy program) in the summer then return to Florida for school.

But instead it seems clear the father Anthony ended his daughter's life prior to the time she was going to dance with a group in the Fourth of July Parade in Pittsfield MA. Ideally any child would hear often that they can share safety or other concerns or needs with a teacher or other parent.

Finding time to spend with a group in a casual setting so parents and other responsible adults would be able to 'tune into the youth' more closely, particularly over time with refreshments, simple crafts and walks and the like, would be a good game plan. I used to coach soccer and would invite the team to have dinner and social time to balance out the basic sports program. Those things could be done readily at a school whether worked in with a fundraiser or other good cause or just for fun.

Everybody needs to eat, so that would be a basic way to connect.Simple 'parent helper' programs can be promoted for each class, with some parents taking the lead and working to include all in some events or with friendly phone calls and an assurance requests for rides and such can be made (ideally with people having a clean driving record and a second parent to monitor kids as needed. Overall, adults should always have a second person around as much as possible when caring for other children or in group setting. Many churches have a 'safe church policy' for instance and scouting manuals have many prevention of harm and good preparedness tips each state could promote.

I happened to attend that parade and blogged about this situation shortly after I learned about it in August, which is when the father Anthony was found to have committed suicide and then his daughter's body from about a month before was discovered in the apartment  by responders. The article I read in The Berkshire Eagle which I drew the details of this tragic story from was written in 2018 and had a contact number.

I spoke to the journalist who clearly had compassion for the case and remembered it right away. I shared the idea of giving more information about CA Protective Parents Association and Battered Mothers Custody Conference to our country so more people could see 'this is not a battle, it's a war' and we don't even know about it.

Whether the problem is substance abuse or domestic abuse, both can prove harmful if not fatal to far too many people, and particularly to victims and children of the person 'using' or being coercive. I was thinking the people from the various advocacy fields could help more of the community and states as well as other countries even comprehend what is involved in such difficult situations.

The mother's and grandmother's insights and instincts were right to be concerned, yet ideally others could have shored up the lack of resources and responsive options. Losing a child to DCF (Department of Children and Families or CPS, Child Protective Services) should be a last option in many ways since those systems also have their shortcomings. The sensible place to begin would be with provididing 'wrap-around' programs for public schools and daycares as well as other town and faith services such as libraries, churches and even camps and recreation support activities.

Giving people a 'legitimate safe place to stay, eat, find support for basic health and education, rides and medical help' all makes sense. When each person has a buddy system a few layers deep, then the chore of monitoring youth and others as to Where they are, Who they are With, What they are Doing and How they are getting from one place to another and Why they are doing the activity or program can be tracked more readily and reliably.

People can have reference sites and permission slips and ideally current phone affirmations from both parents about any field trips, outings, difficult or dangerous activities (around water, mountains, groups of kids, sports, etc) so people are not caught off-guard. That is especially true when routines vary and schedules for summer or other times shift.

Anthony Nazareth took her life about a month before ending his own when his mother had insisted with a phone call that she be contacted or she would call the police the next day, Aug 3rd, 2015. Apparently she wanted to how Hannah was doing since she had not seen her since Easter. 

There is much to learn about many aspects of what befell this young woman, Hannah, who had the idea and courage to let people know she was facing a difficult situation. She had stayed with a family for a week prior to her father taking her life. With the parade around the corner in a few days it would have been ideal to have found creative ways to keep a close watch on Hannah to see that goal through and hopefully not have the father make waves (such as contacting police.)

With his drug addiction, some knew he was using again but were not putting the concerns about his daughter in the forefront. The mother and other family and friends could have had a plan to check in with Hannah on a daily basis if not more often. That is the kind of improvement every family could work toward. Most minors need to be supervised more than not, and ideally two or more responsible adults should know where a child is at all times.

The kinds of Coercive Control that is now becoming illegal in England could be described to more Americans to bring more people 'up to speed' on what is being better described in advocacy literature and on some websites, but not all and not in a comprehensive campaign to educate the public thoroughly. The idea that everyone should be able to have 'Self-Control' would also be a good place to start, and to get help for safety and basic needs.

Those are human rights issues, and pertain to all people. The notion that 'some people' (usually those with more power, control, sway and influence) over others losing their temper or insisting on their demands being met needs to be clarified as inappropriate, not normal or natural and not legal.Instead those actions are often 'rewarded' or supported by bystanders or more direct connections (such as in gangs or many professionals and friends not wanting to mess with someone's turf or 'dirty laundry'.) 

I requested that the reporter reach out to whoever does the organizing for the Pittsfield Parade and have a float or banner in memory of Hannah Nazareth. Her mother deserves a great deal of support as do her other family members and friends for pulling through a very difficult time. The regrets are  on many parts and ideally any community could have 'active grapevines' of people who could form an ad hoc team to support people any season of the year whether visiting or moving into the area or living here for longer periods of time. 

There are losses of many kinds which can catch people off guard such as car collisions (generally due to speeding, distracted, using drugs and alcohol or other destabilizing situations or violence possibly.)

The loss I was seeking to help address when attending the 250th Pittsfield Parade and some after that was none other than sharing the legacy of our late teen son Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton who passed in 2009. He had saved two of his friends who were in dangerous water, then went in for a third. This happened about a mile from Housatonic Valley Regional High School where the Housatonic River goes over a large series of waterfalls and empties into a plunge pool then moves swiftly down 'rattlesnake rapids' heading toward the Iron Bridge and the Power Plant. Seven miles downriver is the West Cornwall Covered Bridge and sadly is where Kaelan's earthly body was recovered a week later, on June 23rd, 2009 (the same day it would turn out that Michael Jackson passed from this life.)

With the various news coverage about Michael Jackson's life, there is the reminder to err on the side of serious caution about a child's safety and well-being, particularly when children are in entertainment, sports or other venues, even in faith or scout groups.While many people are trustworthy, too many are not.

Talent and skill does not preclude someone from being fallible and even criminal in their actions. Thankfully many courageous people are speaking up not only about what they suffered but about who knew and did nothing or blamed the victim if not punished those seeking to believe and protect the victim. This sadly is what can divide families, friends, communities and more. The levels of care and healing to even figure out 'what really happened' or who would benefit from what kind of comprehensive therapy and support has yet to be spelled out (ideally with codes so violations and PTSD would not occur in the retelling.)

That friend was rescued by a volunteer who used ropes to secure the lad and lift him up a rocky area about 40' with thuderous falls pounding down very closeby and even ripping his jeans. The whole scene was surreal yet the passing of our courageous son Kaelan who was not supposed to be there per my clear request to another parent and which another parent also had tried to prevent to no avail with about a dozen parents 'approving or allowing' the dangerous outing, including going in if they found a safe spot to swim (and not realizing it was such a heavy flowing river due to a lot of rain that June 2009.)

In that situation, many adults and skilled people dropped the ball of communication and basic supervision of youth or making a few phone calls (to the Police and even to the parents and the electric company which has signs posted to not swim in that area.) Many people knew the youth were going to the falls to celebrate the last day of school, not realizing such a dangerous outing could prove the last day of one life (if not more, but thankfully that was not the case.)

The Housatonic River flows from Pittsfield MA down through many scenic towns such as Great Barrington MA (where I happened to go for a Toastmasters meeting that 3rd Tuesday, June 16th, 2009 with someone giving me a ride there and back to Falls Village by 2pm. I was at the DM Hunt Library using the computer after being at my family home for a short time feeling I should be checking on something. I didn't realize it was the last day of school for my children, and had been very recently divorced with about 5 days in court in the prior month.

For the prior few years I was not having success seeing my children however due to confusion in the courts and the terms 'Best Interest of the Children'. The tally of loss in terms of not having family and friends interact with children with each safe, appropriate parent is one more communities could consider. Even though many youth are reared by a single parent or caregiver, it would not take much to find ways to see that each has a support team.

In CT they do not prioritize the safety and continuity of care for children as is recommended by the CA Protective Parents Association and many advocates such as in US House Resolution 72. These kinds of situations can be very expensive and not addressed well, so tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars are 'spent doing the wrong thing' when the safe, correct path should be very clear and secure for families to follow with support from every aspect of a legal and civil society.

While I have had the benefit of reconnecting with my surviving children, many mothers do not have that outcome..which is a huge loss for their children as well. The hope that 'things will just mellow out' clearly is not one to count on. The high cost of housing, finding affordable programs and supportive people to face the changes and the 'new normal' with could be a driving force for business and optional care programs, faith groups and more. 

Ideally more 'highly recommended if not required programs' online would be promoted for anyone in the realm of wanting to live with others (even some for communicating online, on Facebook or in emails, blogging, speaking on the phone, in business and various settings, social or family circles, on the phone or in person.) I explore some of those points in other posts and ideally schools, towns and other online services could fill in the gaps.

Finding new formats to make 'meaningful agreements' between two people (such as in a parenting or marriage relationship, dating or housing) would be practical. Legal ramifications and options to address issues would makes sense too along with 'updates' to keep current with various trends and laws. Thanks for tuning in and chiming in with your insights. It's never easy but sometimes it's not as hard as we make it seem to consider what any person is facing or needing to know to avoid other difficulties. 

Many larger systems such as prisons, the military or various aspects of society need monitoring and repairing. Listening to NPR or National Public Radio can be highly informative. There are many similarities among the kinds of abuse or shortcomings that can create a downward spiral of decline in a social or safety system. As we learn and grow in our collective wisdom and advocacy hopefully more people will be protected and empowered for personal and group safety and well-being in all venues of their lives.

The bigger fight we will all be facing, sooner or later, will be 'Climate Change'. The skills and support we have to face our shared human struggles and power dynamics hopefully can inform us in timely and meaningful ways to assess the larger playing field as oceans rise and resources need to be shared to help people 'stay afloat.' I know this post like many covers many bases, so feel free to re-read a bit at a time. I will put that at the top, so action steps can be taken and people not feel overwhelmed. These are heavy topics but ones we can face bravely together..

.As Jesus and many of our brave young angel friends showed with their courage and life legacies..."Be Not Afraid, I Go Before You Always..." Come, follow me, and I will give you peace. Of course, we have to be vigilant not to follow anyone blindly so need to know about cults and all forms of discrimination and deficient advocacy... Trust your heart and be ready to start reaching out and learning more each day..It's a journey well worth taking...Together (or alone if that's where one feels it is needed to start.)