World Training Day.Org 4/20/19, Averting Disasters, Mending Fences, Fixin' What's Broken Best We Can (If We Let Ourselves Consider the Options)

Hope you can help spread the word about World Training Day about caring for people who are terminally ill, very much on the decline (dementia and Alzheimer's and more) or dying...and their support teams before, during and after the time of a person's passing. I am sharing this on 4/19/19, the day before the event. Listen in also to Jen McLean who offers a free monthly reflection time at noon (Pacific Time) online on the 19th of each month. 

There are many ways to feel connected to online groups and efforts and to share those with people in your circles on FB or in person to help everyone grow in wisdom, kindness, skills, talent and friendship. Remembering loved ones at this time is a nice way to realize we can appreciate those who have crossed over and reflect on the many important stages of life we all face, ideally with teams of support.

 See Folk-Legacy Records online for some inspiration, and songs by Dave Para and the late Cathy Barton, and the late Sandy and Caroline Paton (my late teen son Kaelan's grandparents.) We are getting quite a heavenly chorus going with friends and family from our folk music and family circles...but hopefully we can hear and join in the songs and harmonizing with those on our earthly journeys. Here's to a heart-warming World Training Day on Saturday, April 20th, 2019.

 That comes at the time of Passover and Easter so the world is already considering the traditions and meanings of our shared histories and ways of viewing our human journey as guided by core values of mutual respect and hope for a brighter even restored future.

With the Notre Dame calamity in Paris, France, we have shared a collective concern for our legacies as well as indications that restoration and pulling through is a modern miracle. At the same time, the concerns about the Boeing Airplane faulty designs for the 737 Max plane as described by Ralph Nader in CT's Lakeville Journal (4/18/19) as well as the fault of the FAA for not having comprehensive oversight and training for pilots mandated clearly are being discussed around the world. 

Ralph Nader's great niece, Samya Stumo, of Sheffield MA is a heroine we can all remember for her steadfast efforts to help people with her advanced skills working at ThinkWell, a health-based organization. She perished in the Ethiopian plane crash. Her parents, Nadia Milleron and Mike Stumo and family went to the site and felt her presence at the pit left by the plane that had faulty software that caused the plane to nosedive.

They are sueing Boeing and the FAA to help ensure this kind of negligence if not criminal shortcoming does not impact others in the future.

I have felt the need to promote Safe Parenting and Living Agreements for Caregivers and Minors to abide by voluntarily since the loss of our teen son almost a decade ago in June 2009. The end of school and times of irregular schedules can be a higher risk time for youth, including teens and young adults, to group up or otherwise find ways to bend or break with basic safety protocol and routines for recreation, driving, using substances and being unsafe in relationships. What happened the last day of the first year of high school for our son involved a group of a dozen or more youths leaving the school on bikes and going to a dangerous waterfall area. Not a good plan. High school youth and others of course should be willing to comply with basic safe plans for enjoying the outdoors, socializing and pursuing sports or activities with reasonable limits, not leaving much to spontaneity and lack of skill or knowledge about dangers. Parents and other responsible adults and youth could honor agreements that are set for a country, state, town, school or other group or private venture.

That would help rescue workers, many of whom are volunteers or otherwise expecting everyone to do their part in maintaining safety and reasonable guidelines and agreements consistently. Adults do not have the right to 'wing it' and allow youth to do dangerous things. We can all promote that with confidence. The group  of parents who gave permission to the youths and the kids themselves that day in mid-June did not understand the dangerous nature of fast water or the river in general. The group was not using drugs or drinking as far as I know. Yet most understand that is the most common factor in 'factoring into an accident or collision whether due to recklessness, tiredness or confusion or fighting.'

 While there were some parents in agreement about not letting youth go to a dangerous river alone, others felt the youth could use their judgment and find 'a safe place to jump in and swim' near class 5 whitewater at the base of a waterfall. There were subtle undertows that proved lethal to our wonderful son Kaelan, 16, who had managed to save two of his friends before going in for a third against all odds of surviving.

Yet our strong swimmer (possibly helped by other forces from above I feel) Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton managed to push his third friend a bit toward a safehold (which he secured after going under briefly.) Then a miraculous save by a skilled rope rescuer, Skip Kosciusko, about  age 50 at the time, resulted in that youth being brought up 40' or more to safety with the falls ripping the pants of Skip on the way.

The memorial service held about a month after the crisis for our community honors Kaelan's selfless, courageous love and skill in saving his friends. There is a youtube video of that in short segments that one can skim through easily. His grandparents Sandy and Caroline Paton were both alive at that time, but then Sandy passed a month later. Caroline died in March 2019. As folk singers they touched many lives and ran Folk-Legacy Records which is now part of the Smithsonian.

The memorial reflects the community and stellar efforts many made to helping Kaelan have a wonderful life and secure the third youth who was not harmed thankfully. With forgiveness an important aspect to anyone's healing I pray more people can explore that possibility. Many who were not able to help me over important challenges in my life and even worked against me, have indicated they were sorry or would like a fresh start. Many have 'stepped away' with or without any explanation.  As a country we could do our homework about the truth behind World War II, the tragedy of 9-11 and many other important events not typically covered by the media in honest ways, according to many theorists such as Steven Greer and Lawyers for 911.Fear or ridicule can be used to silence people from asking reasonable questions about life on other planets or other life forms on our own (and underground enterprises and whose driving the bus so to speak.) That didn't work out too well for the Jews when WWII started.

Sadly the US put limits on how many could come into this country so we have some collective apologizing to do to many. That would include the First Nation peoples as well. Since they are not here, passing the apologies on to their progeny makes sense. With my late parents, Dale and Mary Palmer Srs., having been part of WWII (with my Dad serving in the Coast Guard for a few years on a ship and narrowly getting out due to a medical reason early before his ship sank he believes), I have a special gratitude for those who did find a way to support the cause. Yet looking more closely at the  likely needless bombing of Hiroshima, particularly with the atom bomb, should be central to our national and world history.

There are more resources now to review the past and make amends best as we can. The Course in Miracles, and the book This Moment Is Your Miracle, offers an important view of life and our spiritual or energetic selves as creating most (if not all, maybe in sync with others who are also creating realities) perhaps reflective of many life times in human form as well as creating our world and everything in it.

That's a biggie so stay tuned. Consider also Eve Wilson's Riding the Wave of Change e-book and website. There are many theories so knowing some basics can help people not invest all of their energy and emotions by default or feeling that is the best way to express sorrow or fear. It can help to have a few friends to think things over with and ideally those would be safe, reliable people whether in person, on the phone, by email or online.

 People will often distance themselves from friends if someone gets ill or needs help financially, with childcare or other efforts to live reasonably. That can be very hurtful and feel like abandonment. Still for each person to figure out 'some reasonable way' to make sense of their life and choose options not to harm others is something worth highlighting as significant and useful.

Thankfully more inroads can be made in current times with online fundraisers and helpful groups. Ideally there would be a voluntary effort in every state and town to help people in more direct ways with internet or other resources and fundraisers with accountability. That can help elderly people who are facing a gap in funds to afford care at home even if they will eventually be able to sell their home and repay loans. That would be a good option, to fundraise for loans, with a sense of collateral when assets would become available. That all needs documenting and thinking through however, yet with a little effort more people would likely feel greatly relieved.

Many people may not know why they act out unfairly toward others, many 'blame victims' or say it is of no use to rethink things or ask 'what if'. I beg to differ since considering a train of events may help one form new ways to prevent similar pitfalls. The earlier one can intervene in a downward spiral of events is something I learned from studying Permaculture Basics. That can apply to environmental, economic, social and political areas among others. With Extinction Rebellion in the news internationally, many of the same principles used to right wrongs in various fields can help save the planet and our sense of empowerment.

There could be a national think tank to comprehend much of the 'back story' that factored not only into the risky behavior by the youths and the breach in the agreement between me, Kaelan's mom Catherine Palmer Paton, and a few of the others as well as people in courts and in the community. Many people had helped supervise our minor children at my request in various activities as well as during a few years when I was not able to see them in any regular fashion through no fault of my own. Thankfully after a few more years of such difficulty, my other children have mended fences and found a new normal including spending a lot of time together.

Unfortunately in the United States 'parental kidnapping' became a common practice before boundaries and strict laws were put in place to prevent parents in a divorce from taking children to another state and setting up household. I have met some parents who have suffered that situation.

That is why the terms to clarify that one parent automatically keeping the children from the other, unless there is an abusive or other concerning situation, needs to be acknowledged as illegal and not recommended. In the case of abuse, even alleged abuse or coercive control not involving physical or sexual abuse, prioritizing safety would still be in the children's best interest. House Resolution 72 in the US Congress is being proposed to provide for a protective parent, generally the mother, to have primary and likely sole custody initially in divorce 'pendente lite' (before final) orders.

See more important information at CA Protective Parents Association and on the website of batteredmotherscustodyconference.org.

The Berkshire DA Task Force  in Massachusetts to address Domestic Abuse has been established in conjunction with agencies and othes in the aftermath of a tragic loss of three young children and their mother at the hands of their father in March 2019 in Sheffield MA. Likely every state and region should follow suit to put out a call for a team approach or community response to domestic abuse and other challenging factors to rearing a family safely with support (such as poverty, lack of social services and support for SNAP or other food banks, transportation, isolation, learning and job support and basic life and money management skills and adequate housing.)

Those are some 'wrongs' in practices that could be set 'right' to give other appropriate parents assurance that would not happen to them. We need language and identification of the many factors that can contribute to harming or cutting ties between protective and competent parents and their children. It is not in the children's best interst or honoring the human rights of protective parents and their children to allow for them to be 'summarily separated'. That is against international human rights laws. We somehow missed that civics and legal lesson.

Attorneys are not supposed to contribute to any crime, including domestic abuse and coercive control or allowing for unfair separation of children from a stable parent. That happens like clockwork however. It can be the case that the nicer, competent parent you are, the more likely you will be to be 'put through the mill'. There is much for our country to learn about the everyday 'push and pull' of conflict in many areas in a 'romantic or intimate violence relationship' (it can start out one way then become one of where a dominant person has power and control over one that is submissive or compliant to figure things out and hope things will change or avoid an escalation or other form of coercive control, capiche?)

Anyone in a rural area can count on that kind of downward spiral  as well as isolation creating a more difficult pattern to 'comprehend and navigate one's way out of with support. The support can be minimal and even rides or ways to not be isolated challenging, even when things aren't so dire. Unfortunately many places were not well-versed in proactively safeguarding youth in programs, so we are seeing more headlines of youth and others being violated even in fairly 'public places' or by people who were generally deemed trustworthy. Now more protocol is in place to set boundaries and have better oversight of situations.

These efforts are growing around the world with more sex abuse scandals in faith, schools, the media,  the military circles and others places make headlines. Blame is finally shifting toward perpetrators and away from victims. The reversals that worked so well on many levels are being declared 'null and void' (except for Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh as many thought, so clearly we have a way to go.) We will all possibly be 'facing our Maker' or otherwise motivated to tell more of the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

When one considers that karma may 'be real' and possibly scientifically explained (thinking about quantum science here and the gifts of second sight or mediums etc and people in spirit clarifying or apologizing for things) to prevent any harm from befalling loved ones or themselves or future generations, maybe more who have knowingly done things that are harmful and others who realize maybe they have been negligent or made mistakes or not done enough advocacy (as some Chief Justices in a state may not have an official role to do but could possibly create a new standard, or as some laws are taking away statutes of limitations for some crimes whether state by state or maybe nationally some day.)

There is a whole lot of housework to do (in terms of feeling more at peace by telling the truth or making amends.) That is a rather 'catholic view' yet one that philosophically may resonate with people as well. Like standing on solid ground it is almost a luxury to recall what happened in one's past and have support to figure out where some wrong turns may have been made. What lessons for healing, feeling and dealing with the past to make them most of the present and future would be the question to explore. I have written before that and overall sense of 'forgiving people and oneself' is a reasonable and again rather eloquent and healing way to face the facts. That doesn't mean forgetting or not looking at what needs to be remedied to restore a sense of safety and confidence.

Hopefully we will all have ears to hear and hearts to listen as well, eyes to see and wisdom to discern our next steps as things are literally heating up on the planet. We may have to prioritize the concerns expressed by Extinction Rebellion to make sure we have a livable planet to think these matters through when times are more secure. Then there's Steven Greer with his many insights about the endless lies and problems we are plagued with yet considering we likely have more smarts and help than we've been allowed to know. See his work online for free and some on Netflix (Disclosure and Acknowledged.) Thanks for all you are doing in that realm of caring and sharing ideas, good will and courage to mend our collective and individual ways. Many say we are in a time of ascension for the next decade when things will fall away and we will all be empowered with special abilities. See Eve Wilsom and Judy Satori online for instance.

These themes of identifying who is responsible for what aspect of our care and living agreements echo in many directions and over our life span. The World Training Day effort will likely bring everyone into the fold of awareness and activism. In a short time, the 14th Annual National Battered Mothers Custody Conference will be held in New York under the capable direction of  Dr. Mo Hannah and her team of skilled advocates from many legal fields to help victims of abuse during custody battles, who generally turn out to be the protective mothers. 

There is more information on livfully.org. Overall finding ways to identify which problems are criminal, not safe, a violation of human rights, and procedures to take action.

Consider our the quandary America is finding itself in with the lengthy, costly Mueller report not apparently finding sufficient evidence that President Trump may have obstructed justice may leave a window for Congress to seek steps to protect the United States in light of the President's role in the past and clarify terms for him as he proceeds. Those are my 'take aways' from what I read on the net today in reports by David Knowles and from the video of  Attorney General William Barr's remarks. Our personal and political experiences and stories continue to unfold.

As Evan Stark shares in Coercive Control, the more we empower all people to have free agency to develop their human capacities and have freedom of choice in how they live, work, relate, study and rear children, the less we will get distracted by waiting for domestic physical or even sexual violence to be the only intervention point of concern. Prioritizing each person's human rights can diminish the drama, rates of injuries and fatalities by 'waiting until it's too late' and not educating women and children about how to maintain power and control over their own thoughts, feelings, decisions, bodies, and actions as well as choices. Coercive Control is against the law in England as of recently.

The society of each country could map out the benefits of preventing harm and injury on many levels. Then make more programs and policies to protect the nurturing and growth of people in safe, respectful ways with support for basics as needed and swift clear guidance and consequences for those not willing or able to abide by those and insisting on harming others, threatening to separate them from their children and possibly others in their social or care circles for no good reason.

Abusive, controlling people need to have boundaries set for them by society so they are not so prone to breaking the law and feeling righteous in doing so. More information on all of those kinds of challenges in books and online by Lundy Bancroft and Barry Goldstein, with Stop Abuse Campaign. Thanks for taking time to learn the tough stuff. You never know who you may be able to encourage or advise with some practical resources to give them hope and help in an hour of need.