A Letter to the Editor To Increase Shared Safety PLANS and Advocacy
Supporting victims key to healthy society
The recent tragic loss of a family of five to apparent murder-suicide committed by the legal father and husband figure in Sheffield MA has many grieving and our society needing to address next steps to recover and strengthen community.
The need to know more about mental health and safety in relationships of all kinds is clear if not dire. Thankfully recently in this month of April which is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, The Berkshire District Attorney (DA) Andrea Harrington working with other key agencies and advocates has formed The Berkshire Domestic and Sexual Assault Task Force, according to the Berkshire Record, 4/12 issue.
The DA Victim Assistance Advocates can be reached at 412-443-5951.
Ideally each state could share what is working as Barry Goldstein does in The Quincy Solution and in StopAbuseCampaign.com. TheDuluthModel.org has helpful wheels spelling out various forms of abuse and intervention strategies.
SafeandTogetherInstitute.com provides guidance for CPS (Child Protective Services) and other agencies to assess the strengths of a protective parent, generally a mother and hold abusers accountable even if the family is living under one roof or continuing to interact without supervision.
That is often how patterns of abuse and 'easing up' play out, but clearly that can be difficult road for all victims and even the perpetrator to continue.
Abuse and control patterns are not obvious to outsiders, victims nor even advocates and local communities. Alarming statistics are waking more people up in the legislative and advocacy fields to protect the human rights of women and children.
The plot thickens when considering the fate of children in custody disputes. Too often children end up in the hands of an abusive, controlling parent.
The victim, typically the protective mother, may be barred from them. That would be a fitting response for the abuser initially however.
The legal path is not as clear and secure as most would hope it would be with systemic support.
Primary aggressor laws now in effect in CT can take years for police to use them properly. Dual arrests or wrongful arrests and subsequent fall-out were making it hard for victims to seek help for years.
The entire country can benefit from insights from the free online newsletter from the California Protective Parents Association.
Connie Valentine with others have proposed House Resolution 72 in the U.S. Congress to keep domestic violence victims and their children together during initial custody orders. In England, Coercive Control is now against the law.
The 14th annual Battered Mothers Custody Conference highlighting the #MeTooMovement will be held in Albany NY the last weekend of April 2019.
Young people and adults (whether living with abuse or not) need to practice safety and exercising their rights whether in their homes, schools or other program or faith settings, in relationships, work places, driving and doing risky recreational outings (or drinking or drugging, legally or otherwise.)
We need more avenues for 24/7 public access to online and phone support as well as meaningful resources over the long haul to improve safety for one and all.
I share many more ideas and resources on my blog at www.livfully.org. Thanks for being brave about these tough learning curves. The journey to a smarter, safer way of life for all is worth it!
--Catherine Palmer Paton
PS #PLANS can stand for People and Places Living, Learning and Loving with Agreements, Networking, Sharing in Society, Schools and Social Circles --Catherine Palmer Paton, promoting safety and information in one's social groups, communities, states and country is a shared endeavor and response-ability
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