Common Sense Needs to Rise to the Helm in More Homes and Schools, Whose Game?

Thanks  CT Rep. Brian Ohler, Rep. Esty and Many other community and state leaders for consistently looking for ways to improve our communities and the schools which are hubs of learning and growth for students, families and towns. I recall doing some outreach to the Sharon CT Selectmen a decade ago of more to create more public awareness about warning signs of danger and abuse.

I also have encouraged many aspects of the MA/NY CT area to create community supports to prevent violence through education (even bright flyers for tips to take a break and walk away and outdoors if angry, to call a friend, to breathe and more, some of which was shared on the radio through a Time to Relax program at 11am and 11pm for five minutes by www.karenkisslinger.com when she was alive and a well-spring of information With dozens of mentors and hopes for a brighter future for US All and particularly the younger sprouts amont us I continue to speak like the Lorax..for everybuddy, trees and wildlife included.

As for the Wild Life I'm afraid that will have to chill a bit in terms of holding out a promise for good times to last one through their aging days. Youth are generally good eggs these days yet heavily impacted by generations who may not have felt they had to 'pay much forward'..or even function that well due to the stress or story that eveyone can live 'for themselves'. This planet being one of a kind and 9 billion humans on it plus critters however paints another picture we need to pay attention to... learning to dare to care and share....

 I will cover more of this as I can on livfully.org. There are likely many Voluntary Policies for parents,teachers, and administrators and students to follow (as well as rescue workers and other key players) to Prevent Violence and Danger on Many Levels.

I had a letter to the editor in The Lakeville Journal on March 1st, 2018 about the connections between Domestic Violence and Gun Violence. For instance, anyone with a protective order is not supposed to own a gun (I need to review this in detail..it could be a restraining order which is a higher level of protection.) There are Plenty of People who Do not have those put in place Yet many could Voluntarily Not own a gun if they are abusive, alcoholic or otherwise using drugs, mentally unstable and so on..

.Family and friends could try to assess one another in a practical way..DUIs, not being able to stay sober during work times, creating conflicts and threats to take children from a protective parent (generally a mother) are all clear warning signs, as in Red Flags, for someone who is thinking of others as property or less than human beings with equal rights. Rather than 'fight fair, take turns and be willing to be coached' many become master manipulators not only in their family and social circles but in the courts and society at large. Often 'everybody knows this' but feels 'it's not their place to clarify the problem.' They don't need to 'point fingers' and dodge dicey situations forever, but could Support the Victims in meaningful ways as in clarifying the victim Did not Cause the Abuse and Cannot Control It likely.

The path to safety will likely be fraught with mixed messages from much of society and be almost impossible to obtain...and no one will tell the victim that because 1) it's against many non-profits policies to criticize their funders or government and 2) there's big money behind the broken systems and media that feed that cycle and 3) there's great denial about how many are part of the problem and 4) the regulations are endless and could result in almost anyone 'losing their kids' or 'being arrested for many laws' most do not know about and 5) every state and often district has its own 'strange set of responses'..some corrupt and others inept and a few good ones just to keep everyone guessing and 6) much more than can be learned in ten minutes which is all the time anyone usually has to pay attention.

Basically a town and school and faith group needs to want to educate all of the women in its area about the overriding trend of 'male violence against women'. In many ways it clarifies and simplifies the problem... not that it will stop it in its tracks..but it can begin to help turn the tide. Young women, from their earliest ages, are being shaped by messages about who they are and what they can do, how they should be behave and generally allow for mistreatment to keep the peace in the name of being submissive, obedient, helpful and attractive.

Being loud, assertive, creative or otherwise 'unwomanly' is not exactly rewarded or even allowed in many cultures. It could take a few more decades to think this through but likely the youth of today could fill in a lot of blanks. It would help if they learned the history of the patriarchy that formed this country with women and children deemed property of their fathers or later their husbands, with few rights if any to own something or have clear personal boundaries. We need to help many in our culture 'catch up' on what went wrong long ago that much of our society is still suffering for..

Then we can think about the learning environment..which will be better for guys and gals.. men and women. Likely there will still be problems, but again refraining from violent programs on tv, in the movies, in music and so on is a helpful step many may not realize is a viable choice. Finding decent friends is no easy task in a culture plagued by sugar and drug addictions or recreational use that basically is generaly over the top (in the name of fun or living it up...)

Well, these are a few thoughts but hopefully just the tip of many more conversations. See more on livfully.org and consider resources on the site Battered Mothers Custody Conference which has met nationally for over ten years in NY or DC. It's safe to come out of the shadows and learn what messes need cleaning up and which kids need helping..and it's about 60K plus every year whose Moms lose custody if not access of them Each Year when trying to get safe. Talk about no where to run to, no where to hide..and no way to protect your kids.. It happens and needs major efforts to overhaul.

The schools Need to be at the Helm of such cases and not simply 'hope for some other people in society' to care enough about kids and their moms to do the advocacy... This problem is common in many developed countries and of course many undeveloped ones.. but overall the policy to keep kids safe in International Law circles is to keep kids 'Safe and Together With their Mothers."

The programs by David Mandel and others (Lundy Bancroft, Barry Goldstein, Civic Research Institute) speak to this standard even while many working mothers find they 'need or want' to get back to work as soon as possible to afford their basic lifestyle (and extras or plan for the future.)

That bigger economic question needs attention as well so young children can have time to bond with steady caregivers. Ideally more of the schools would look at ways to enhance early childhood opportunities and support for pregnant mothers to help youth succeed in elementary school and beyond.

That's it for now but of course, feel free to think on this over time and with others..and helping one person at a time does make a meaningful difference... but do so with some insight about 'the laws, the current protocol and much more.. ' Likely that's why many don't get involved but we can aim toward a more positive overall plan and way to help one another, don't you agree?