Has Anyone Been Comparing 'Those Who Lie' or Insist on Playing Their Own Game Without Fairness to their Team (even Family) Mates as Cartoon or Fairy Tale Characters--Maybe that would help.

"Does your nose grow if you lie?" the son Pinocchio asked his father Gepetto in a play I recently  (Real Boy, by Matthew Minniciano) Gepetto was quick with his answer. No that doesn't happen to me, because I am human. It only happens to you because that's how I made you. That logic is often heralded by some of the best liars of our times... No they are not lying, and if you call them on a lie, they You are Lying.

Their sense of infallibility if profound and does not have to backed up with evidence. They are innocent not only until proven guilty but even After being found guilty and even when re-committing offenses. That is not exactly what children or other innocent-minded people are taught.

Hearing on the radio mid February 2018 again about Donald Trump and his administration being caught up in a litany of lies, half-lies, watered down lies and outright contradictory statements over time if not within a very short amount of time. They summarized the way statements are declared as facts without any evidence to back them up.

Unfortunately another aspect of the radio report is that fewer media journalists are doing their due diligence and Checking the Records, Finding the Context and Clarifying the issues for people whether about the numbers of voters showing up at the poll in the Trump 'election' win over Hillary Clinton or the actual numbers of illegal immigrants who commit violent crimes.

The most recent debate focused on whether a top government hire was held accountable in a timely manner for having a history of spousal abuse. The reports from the White House press were indicating they had only recently become 'fully aware' within days of the breaking news story whereas others said they likely knew before or shortly after hiring him and allowing 6 months to go by, likely only speaking up Because of the other news story.

Even though we seem to be getting around to paying attention to the implications and reasonable consequences of someone being abusive to family or partners (or even pets) in regards to their work status, at least we have finally having a meaningful set of headlines, questions and discussions. The abusers themselves likely claim a self-righteous position of beyond punishment for something in 'their personal life.' Particularly if their victim is not pressing charges or wants to risk and hold out hope for his or her reform, where does that leave 'the courts' or 'a workplace' or a school to develop and implement consequences for said offenses.

Rumors could ruin people but 'the truth could hurt them too'. The concerns are growing for public safety realizing that often there is a spill over effect when someone is 'going postal or being a bully or narcissist' in their own home and mistreating others with put-downs, neglect (when they have the means or could get help and support to provide for material needs and even to Learn to behave and gain some insight into Their Thinking and Actions, their views of others and even themselves as 'unchangeable'  or not needing coaching.) The runaway train mentality does not just harm the person who is not paying attention, often it slowly or more swiftly cuts off the oxygen and options for others to think outloud, share an idea, offer help or say no to helping.

The overall 'context' of a situation likely is fraught with pluses and minuses. No one person or group is perfect. Having a lot of intelligence, knowledge, practice in communication or figuring out one's own feelings, life plans and more takes a great deal of effort. Some places from work or school environments to faith or cultural groups, arts and theatre groups or other neighborhood or tenant outreaches may encourage interactions. Even the architecture and lay out of one's home and community can create a stage and pathways for more interactions versus more privacy.

Whether in a certain urban or rural or suburban setting and neighborhood, the terms of 'going out in the world and seeing others in person, on public transportation, in vehicles and so on can vary widely. Being polite sounds reasonable but for some 'any eye contact' is too much beyond a fleeting glance. Plenty of people train themselves to 'look down', wear sunglasses or otherwise 'keep to themselves.' There are practical reasons for this and of course having more focus on many levels when driving or biking or even walking is important to stay aware of others sharing the lanes.

That would mean not being distracted by loud music or deep or agitated conversation (especially if driving, where again no phone calls can help the brain focus on the important skill of operating a vehicle for everyone's safety on the road. By not doing so anyone else on the road may be more impacted by one's choices than oneself if distracted or needing to make quick decisions for safety.)

But back to the life of 'every day living' and figuring out Who  should be working or interacting with others..and who should not. When it comes to abusive people ideally they would be aware they have 'issues' and not feel they alone are responsible for their thoughts and patterns..but yes, for their actions. Appreciating that everyone is likely imprinted profoundly not only by their primary caregivers (parents, childcare providers, siblings, friends in one's early life and their families, groups one is a part of and one's overall cultural and societal customs and laws.)

Considering that one developed many coping and behavioral patterns as habits and only later in childhood voluntarily could choose more consciously how to respond and not necessarily with whom to interact, one may feel they are due a 'second childhood.' Along with practicing tuning into one's real interests and skills, one may need to feel open to being 're-parented' and find new mentors and coaches, likely online through free or affordable programs.

Those new voices and faces, ideas and game plans for handling one's 'inner game' of emotions, faces and places, being aware of the many  choices one can make to pause and 'review a situation' rather than having a knee-Jerk response would be helpful. In that way, Slowing Down would be the best way to Get Ahead of the puppy dogging one's mind and actions. One can be safe when asleep for instance and wake up slowly.

Taking five minutes to tune into one's breathing and lean into a greater sense of love and connection with one's sense of divinity and part of the grand plan can take some of the pressure off of having to figure everything out and know for sure What to Do, What to Say, How to Say It. Having a coach one can call a few times a day, keeping a feelings journal, realizing one is on a singular yet common quest to help oneself and humanity Evolve With Love is all part of one's overall life goal. See sites like Edgar Cayce and even Steven Greer..and consider What IF there is a grain of truth in these ideas?

How Might one's life shift toward one of acceptance and teamwork with the people in one's life. Perhaps some time and space apart will be needed from one or more people who seem to 'have it out for you' or for whom you feel entitled to 'direct and threaten with ultimatums'. Could there be a degree of trying to work out issues from the past (this life or a previous life, another big What IF to ponder and allow exploration about what insights might come to one's awareness.)

Still looking for quick fixes is not the main goal (unless in immediate danger or feeling one may be harmed..then Getting Out and Staying Out from being vulnerable to others is important or making sure one does not harm others is very much a priority. If leaving is not seeming possible (often the case when children or the elderly or even pets need due consideration and there seems no where to go permanently, then going on a trip or having others come in or call and check on one often is a helpful strategy.)

While all this seems surreal to someone who has not been aware of the danger lurking below the surface of someone with a streak of volatility, of intermittent threats, put-downs or erratic behaviors, likely many more people are aware of such things but didn't know how to put All of That Elusive Creepy Stuff into words.

To throw in some more 'crazy-making' add that the very same 'mean folks' can be 'really nice' or at least decent and maybe pitch in with provisions if not underwrite the basics in one's life. Not a clear easy problem to solve in private or if one becomes more public about the problem. Then there's the idea of Super Public problems amplifying the dynamics, with few clear answers or policies really being made or implemented long term.

The ideas and resources on BMCC, Battered Mothers Custody Conference, Civic Research Institute (CRI) or sites like Lundy Bancroft and Barry Goldstein as well as 'another view point' which may have the media driven power behind it more than the best practices do, Natonal Parents Organization (NPO which was formerly a Father's Rights group. Those have hundreds of millions in funding to keep fathers involved with children while Protective Mothers do not receive that kind of support and advocacy when they should. Our children's safety and lives are at stake in almost 60K cases a year nationally.

There is a nationwide 'civil war' going on in custody courts if they get to the court arena. It's basically the biggest travesty no one is speaking about in mainstream media. Their noses are not growing longer even though they are not 'only human',  they are corporate giants. They are immune to the feelings and ethics of real people and serve the bidding of their Investors and Owners. That's where independent efforts and grassroots advocacy is 'our only hope.'

The Women's Marches with millions taking to the streets in the past two years in response to POTUS Donald Trump's distorted 'rolling back the policies' that most have fought for in the free world. Women are looking to clarify for the current young generation that hard won rights will need to be fought for all over again. The sad news is there's lots more to fight for as well just to have some basics.

The laws 'keeping women in their places' are being written or policies put in place in the name of some other system that allows for Children to be Taken from Their Protective Mother (or Father if that is really the case, but look hard and fast at such cases and trace the history of whose losing kids and why.)

The entire foster care and adoption systems needs more oversight as well, as do those for the elderly. Too often saying someone needs help may mean they lose access to their children. If they fail to jump through hoops and follow directions then 'that's all the more reason to allow agencies, some who have corrupt folks behind the scense meeting quotas..These are tragic dynamics to face in modern America or other parts of the world. But Denial is No Longer an Option..and Waking Up will take a while.

These are examples of other 'systems' we need to brave looking more closely at, not taking the role of innocent children who think their parents and leaders are really able and willing to look out not just 'for their own' but for their generation. The problems multiply quickly that's why we need more people involved in helping young people and others early on in life to make healthy decisions, live reasonably and with support to feel emboldened to forge ahead into meaningful futures and not leave their friends behind. Unfortunately that may be more of a wishful strategy than not in the short-term.

 Caring counts however, and over time more strides can be made to improve things, help people ask and get the help they need and evolve with love and accountability. That may mean more people being open to early interventions to avoid hurting others or themselves. That is not something done easily or always successful. Likely an ongoing effort with online resources would help. Those folks or programs need to be trustworthy as well. So the story and dance continues...