Congrats to Brian Ohler for tossing his hat in the ring to be a CT State Rep! (And much more such as Relationship guidelines)

What would anyone want if they felt they could really ask someone running for a state representative position to keep in mind? What would help the average citizen better understand the political process so each could be more effectively involved? Thanks to Roberta Willis who has represented the 64th District of CT for the better part of two decades and has been an involved citizen her whole life. She kept her spot when Brian ran against her in the last election cycle but he had many supporters.

The challenge to keep one's boat afloat in the Housatonic River corridor area pertains to most working class people, especially those making less than $20K a year which I heard not too long ago is much of America. How can people (and zoning laws and local regulations) work toward helping people learn about and try Co-Housing (even putting in apartments to allow for some income or for people to stay in place whether elderly or simply not wanting to move altogether or at all from the area they call home or enjoy as a more recent citizen)?

These were some ideas that came to mind. Add yours in the comments below as likely more communities need to think of ways to communicate and enhance that sense of including more people in their towns or areas, getting people to vote, and plan for each age and stage of life with practical options socially, economically, carewise for any needing that, education, work, faith and fun. See ideas on www.gaia.org which can help any area as they are implemented even by small groups publicizing them online, on the radio or on FB and blogs, etc.

Thanks for all everyone does month to month and year to year. Please VOTE FOR PRESIDENT this year, especially if a Democrat to prevent more of a Corporate-Takeover of Elections (through Super PACs) which often fight for corporate and wealthy interests at the expense of the planet (The Commons, the idea of nature's resources being stolen by not being updated with protective laws whether air, land, water or other resources.)

Please see Hope and Health International also for alarming news about the plight of many poor people around the world, especially the most vulnerable such as women and children being exploited again by the wealthier in egregious ways. Children can be sponsored at less than $35 a month, so that might be a nice project for any church or group of friends to work together to do. That is a Christian mission as is Rancho Del Rey in Mexico (with mission trips from Greenwoods Community Church in Ashley Falls MA sending people often who can benefit from support for their travel or for the effort directly.)

Okay, back to basics, thanks for being involved and growing in ways to bridge gaps in dialogue. Sadly many fundamentalist groups and faiths end up speaking harshly not only about something they view as a sin (gay rights and marriage or civil unions) but about the people involved. There are many pressing issues and matters of personal relationships and sexuality, family and fertility issues, adoption and help for families in conflict or crisis all need a lot of exploring.

These are not everyday headlines until someone is hurt or done in, ostacized or wins an award. Why not find ways to think through the various aspects of a religious or spiritual view, summarize those who are 'for or against' a certain kind of behavior or relationship and the reasons for such. Overall, most men lose a level of testosterone in their elderly years such that having children is not as much of a pressing issue, and women also lose estrogen so that without medical measures, she is not conceiving or carrying a child as much as when younger. By 55-65 years of age or older, most men and women are more naturally not as involved physically with each other if in a relationship (or otherwise) though for some men there are ways they do seek herbal or other medicinal support to keep active. Maybe people could have the 5-10 year plan for the status of their relationships, more like car or home insurance. Living in the same house should not necessarily be a criteria one needs to hold fast to.

Often a six month time apart at night could give each party time to think through their daytime feelings without changing channels and trying to keep a co-habitating relationship going. Maybe separate rooms would be helpful as well as shared one, again to accommodate various stages of relationship. If someone likes to stay up late or someone is not feeling well, or would simply like some personal time or space, that could be viewed as reasonable. Planning some options that each could have available would make sense. Some people think along these lines while others may never feel it appropriate to raise the topic. Vacations alone or travel or visits can fill in some of those possibilities. Ideally having a friend or two to talk ideas over with can help the conversation proceed and be monitored with a sense of care.

That means whether gay or straight, the sexual side of most relationships is not likely the main factor determining a connection. Many couples become more like close friends, with comfort and sharing in ways other than the most  involved types of physicality or risk of pregnancy. The idea of any two people being able to get the economic benefits of a marriage or civil partnership would likely be a helpful option for everyone to have basic support and financial planning without penalties. That hasn't been discussed aside from esoteric messages about having a health care representative, making a will or a trust. The custody of one's children and other very important matters is not even explained to parents (what could trigger a change if Child Protective Services or a Court Case such as a divorce or abuse allegation surfaced.)

The courts and broken systems depend on a kind of shock and awe tactic that particularly plays out harshly for many women in custody battles. With so much Confusion over the cultural and practical roles and costs of living, co-housing, being pregnant or rearing children, there are many young families or women left vulnerable to becoming poor, without a home as in houseless not necessarily homeless (which a local advocate has a blog about www.homeless.com I believe). Why don't more ministers and social workers seek to learn what the actual odds are women and children will be more at risk for harm in a divorce or custody process than if not married or living with a man they like (or even have a child with)?

What if a new standard promoted a new couple living apart for at least two years (even if they have a child together) to make sure things are progressing smoothly and that she is not being pressured to be more involved than she is really comfortable doing and which makes sense for their relationship. Likely a once a week guideline for getting very intimate could help many couples find a kind of balance if they are way over that (which the Chinese medicine folks say can be depleting for a man's chi). Even though medical doctors do not set up guidelines for pregnant women, likely nothing more than that would also make sense until more research is done. Not to make anyone blush, but most teens know more than middle aged folks and with the internet, 'there are hardly any secrets'. But wisdom and common sense may be lacking. Again even where laws and faith protocol is accepted and involved in ceremonies, there are no requirements or practical considerations reviewed such as educating both parties about safety on many fronts (financial with separate accounts for starters and maybe for keeps, possibly a joint account if needed, verification of any thing taken out of or put in with follow up to make sure checks clear and are received and cashed, and much more.)

Thanks for thinking practically not only for yourself but for others who may not know how to really make sense of such things as personal boundaries, safe communication (in writing, in emails, on the phone and only when there is supervision if concerns in public to talk maybe with support people (and even a recording if important with full disclosure where required) or a written summary and MOU memorandum of understanding to clarify terms of agreements voluntarily. Such MOUs even if done by a mediator (volunteer such as at www.dutchessmediation.org which many NY courts use to help ease a caseload but are screened ideally for abuse or control issues so not forcing victims into unsafe settings, same should hold for ANY Couple's Counseling or for parties who may have been involved in the past which often is overlooked in mental health circles.) Okay, well that's a start to tune into the Practical and Legal needs for people to be informed about and that's what this blog tries to do but is NOT a Form of Legal or Medical Advice, even though much of what I share could prove to SAVE LIVES, MUCH MONEY and ACCESS TO ONE"S CHILDREN!

More explanations about the process, the way things can be asked for and worked for as well as paid for would likely help more people get on the same page. Ralph Nader spoke to a full house at Housy through the Salisbury Forum (another key group to connect with if possible to put more initiatives into action or at least get valuable input, perhaps with an opt-in link or info posted at their forums if possible, an optional flyer to take home. 

Offering a class or two on local and state gov't or thereabouts through the Foothills Adult Ed programs in FV and Winsted and Torrington can get some enthusiasm going for the small towns.. 

Making sister towns with the bigger cities could help the NW Corner feel more cohesive. With family and some folks close to me attending school in T'ton and ushering at the Warner for 10 years, I feel T'ton is impt to keep in the mix. 

They have a surplus of people and maybe some could be recruited to come visit, camp out for month--well a week at a time,etc. Same goes for Great Barrington and even Millerton or Poughkeepsie,, yes Po-town. 

Again, I and a nice handful of folks enjoyed going to college there whether at Vassar, Dutchess or Marist or even SUNY New Paltz. I'm not trying to detract from what CT needs (people and especially young people) but rather trying to think of ways to recruit other kids and people to think of making connections in the area. A more intentionally welcoming mode of including people in community activities and networks could do wonders.

What about inviting the Toastmasters Group from Great Barrington MA to do a few talks about the club during Railroad Days (maybe at Geer).

While it's a bit of a commitment to start a club maybe we could do that for 2020 and practice with an informal kind of meet and greet that mirrors their sense of friendliness and timed talks or sharing about an interest informally, introducing a person to a group and so on. Okay, more later.. all the best. Keep in mind a national conference on Women's Safety and the Human Rights Cause of Keeping Children Safe is held in Albany NY May 6-8th called BMCC. Advocates and leaders welcome..

I would encourage you and others concerned (anyone from WSS Board or Susan B or caring about key legal issues directly impacting moms and kids) to attend for a day or more. Men can attend and experts from around the country such as Barry Goldstein, Lundy Bancroft and Wendy Murphy and organizer Mo Hannah will be there along with a hundred or more moms and advocates..

Why not make a stride in one of the more pressing but silenced issues of the day. Likely it would have big implications for informing many other areas of the community from education and medical to legal and social, housing and safety... Thanks for sharing this in a timely way if possible. Parts may be recorded and important websites summarize key points fromwww.barrygoldstein.net such as The Quincy Solution and The Safe Child Act. Check it out today and be part of the soulYoution to some Pressing problems for parents at large to be clueless about.