Let's hear it for all women (and the fellas who support and respect them...and vice versa) on International Woman's Day (or Women's Day) March 8th each year..and really everyday, but that's my idea

With all due respect to the greater good, the divine, the circle of life, it's nice to know there's such respect for women and gals on that plan-it called International Woman's Day. Find out ways folks are acknowledging the special role women play in the world today and over the past..and hopefully can take on larger roles in saving the mothership from further harm and loss of natural resources, women's rights, and more. Kudos to all men who work along the lines of playing fair whether with others in their country or a wider scale and with both men and women seen as team players.

Soon we likely will realize we are 'borrowing our children's future's and have gotten away with all manner of neglect and abuse because historically only men ownen women and children as property. More advocates from abuse educatiion circles are describing the tragedy of violation of human rights..whether the person is male, female, young, old, conceived or even deceased...(I added that in there because there is a growing amount of evidence that people may live more than one lifetime as the same soul not necessarily the same body and personality, but their overall spiritual energy force may be far wiser and long-lasting than most developed countries deem worthy of considering.

There also maybe  life on other planets or forces and entities visitin our own which could explain more than we can from current limitiing ideas that 'only what we see and can measure truly exists'. Think about Quantum Theory..field theory and string theory and google away for fifteen minutes now and then to ponder the 'impossibilities'. Then let that inform you about who we each are..maybe someone from our family line generations back, taking up a new modern challenge and using skills developed over lifetimes (which likely factor into our intuition and emotions as much as our book knowledge or how-to smarts.)

Accepting more complex systems such as urban lifestyles, complicated agreements for working, schooling (now that's getting every more complicated and yet models such as the Steiner Schools and other efforts to keep the human factor forefront are well respected to help youth and others develop their talents and abilities without overdoing a good thing in the thinking, playing sports competitively and with high injury risks and so on. Music and tuning into our human experience, being creative in our thinking, dreaming, arts and living with care and respect are all horses gaining in  the perpetual race around the track of life,

Who knew part of Winning could mean Slowing Down and Being Nice to Ourselves and Others (and yes the Divine and other inspirational helpers as we may take time to appreciate whose on our team.)  See information on www.stopabusecampaign.org or www.barrygoldstein.net, www,lundybancroft.com and find ways to pitch in toward helping mothers and others care for children and households where an extra hand is needed.

Do not put yourself in danger or over exert your abilities. Think of asking faith and civic groups to address concerns in forums whether as letters to editors and online or being collaborative in funding programs or people to attend conferences such as Battered Mothers Custody Conference (they accept donations for scholarships for women needing support or advocates as do most Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse Centers (Those two may be separate in some states or areas, so always try to get good screenings before a serious relationship such as on www.rainn.org or other hotline to see if you are safe.

Until you talk things over with someone, you may be compromising or staying in denial about intimidation, veiled threats, risks to you and your children if you think of trying to get away for a few days or more or take any legal actions. See a 20/20 TV program on 3-6-16 and coverage in Newsweek as well as sites such as Safe Kids International, and Cindy Dumas of the Womans Coalition who are shedding critical light on a devastating set of trends landing abused children with their abusive fathers and out of legal custody or access to their protective mothers.

Any caring citizen should take strides toward righting these wrongs which sadly are a reflection of much corruption, poor planning, and mixed attempts by caring as well as malicious players vying for control and financial benefit personally, for their organizations or even their states through 'broken systems with big pay-offs'. These are some of the truths revealed by experts and advocates who are going the extra mile for decades to inform the public and protect our most vulnerable citizens. Any faith group, particularly aspiring to protect women, need to rethink the religious, cultural, social and legal pressure bearing down on two people who may want to 'be married' to feel legitimate or have economic benefits. The sad truth is no one can protect them should one or both become unbalanced and harm themselves and others, including their children.

The only Legal Exit from marital obligations is to get a legal separation or divorce. Perhaps more pre-nuptial or relationship agreements could spell out terms for taking a controlled separation (whether dividing living space, sleeping apart one or more nights occassionally or for longer periods of time, living apart with clear legal advice about a written agreement regarding temporary custody of children, property and access to the marital or shared home.

Nothing I say on this blog is to be construed as legal advice, but rather common sense ideas and concerns any mature person of either gender may want to consider as might any group overseeing others in these matters in these modern times. Laws and practices are changing in many fields with little or no coordination. Suddenly one's family, particularly one's children can be part of a tug of war that is damaging and costly beyond reason. There is little reason guiding a process and yet each field of influence acts according to its own criteria and presents as professional and concerned.

Often family and criminal court agendas work as cross purposes..while a criminal court would put an offender in jail, a family court might order extra time with an offender if they do not believe 'allegations' or even if there is past or current physical violence.

The gap is crossed from logical care to enabling crime with 'smoke and mirrors' logic, that families get emotional or have their own pulse (women and kids are lucky to keep theirs if an abusive dad takes the helm..even he is at risk for self-harm if he gets caught up in having ultimate control of His family..doesn't he realize family is the bigger word there and means two or more individuals with equal rights and protection under the law?!) Basically the cycles of ownership and abuse have gone hand and hand, and most good guys do not realize that. If the bad guys heard of it, which they likely have in their homes, from society and so on, they chalk that up to a sense of greater entitlement.

People  become adept at turning reason on its head in the name of 'he worked hard, his dad was that way, the old days gave guys the respect they deserve, the wars a man has to fight are not of his own choosing but he is expected to do battle abroad so why not cut him some slack at home?

On and on the list of allowing testosterone to rule the day, not only of decent women but also of decent men. When one out of three fellas have spent time in prison, with two million typically in jail at any time compared to fewer than 100 thousand women (often complicit with a male directing a criminal act...or for having a small amount to drink and causing a fatality while driving, and yes many who were abused acting out or being caught in a downward spiral.that's the case for the men and women, mostly younger people who didn't have much support in life anyway especially in competitive learning and working societies.)

More help is needed on all fronts, but just as curbing nicotine and helping people learn to invest in their health early on, more guidance (and yes, guys learning to dance for fun and not be too serious or tied to competition..) a kinder world can evolve. I enjoyed hearing Ralph Nader speak at our small high school in Falls Village CT. He did a remarkable job conveying ways we could transform our country with more people stepping up their interest and activism in public issues, protecting public lands and assets and of course  voting for a President who can lead us not into more damnation..that's my wording.

At 81,Ralph Nader (who was hosted by the Salisbury Forum which is celebrating 10 years of bringing speakers of renown and on important issues to the MA/NY CT tricorner area) has set a great example with a new Tort Museum in Winsted CT which is open on weekends. Why not be part of history and talk up the good efforts on his site, www.ralphnader.org  (I think that's what he said) and  find causes to join in supporting with small percentages of people (1/10th of one percent in a town, state, country) who donate and encouage others to do the same when growing numbers are reached and more activism grows.

Start small but grow mighty...like the acorns do to become oak trees. Soon we'll have a healthy forest of friends and networks (and see the Kettering Institute and their Connections booklet which is doing great things and helping people feel involved in meaningful ways with a great website of their archived research too.) Hats off to all finding ways to make a difference and dance to the beat of their heart and that of the pacha mama (mother earth) with good folks and oaks in their company. Join in efforts such as Ralph suggested in getting a Community Lawyer such as the one in Winsted CT. A hundred folks working together could see that through for a few small towns and the more the merrier across the country. Great Barrington has legal help also and some Legal Aid is available to some folks via phone in many states.

For starters in terms of advocacy for safety, why not encourage each school, daycare and faith network in each town to form and host events such as explaining to parents the options for when they can begin their children in kindergarten and 1st grade etc and explore the many pros and cons. Perhaps recreataion, faith and civic groups could offer alternatives for parents wanting to spend more time involved directly with their children and to pace their school years to fit family or other agendas. Offering additional safety and anti-bullying programs to both kids and adults could educate more people about laws and ways to stay safe on all levels.

Programs for variuos age groups can be offered voluntarily but regularly in each town on sexual safety and preventing abuse, other forms of violence and pressure people are under, medical and illicit drug use (such as the Northwest Corner Coaltion against Drug Abuse in the CT area is doing valiantly with much volunteer support and leadership from Brian Ohler and others.) There are many problems to work on acknowledging and addressing.

Resolving things likely will take time and ideally more help in the form of rehabilitation rather than escalating conflict or incarceration could be on everyone's radar. All the best to each person getting basic physical, mental and dental health checks, Seeing the American Diabetes Association website to learn about and test one's A1C level (average blood glucose level) and consider the impact of alcohol and poor diet and lack of exercise as breeding diabetes and obesity. These are hidden problems as are high blood pressure that need more advocacy for both genders.

Taking strides toward small improvements with diet, destressing, planning for teams to help with big projects or buddies to help one get through one's day, week, month and year for self care and helping others makes sense. Again, nothing on my site is given as medical advice or other kinds of direction, just sharing some helpful ideas for people and groups to consider as they may feel would make sense. Thanks a bundle for keeping up with your daily routines and checking in with your kids, friends,family and others in your area as may help the ripples of respect reach the shores of others souls and echo back to your own with appreciation from near and far and even love from above and those yet to come into your life... aloha (like that Hawaiin greeting and feel)  and enjoy each day you are given!