On Your Mark, Get Centered, Relax! Enjoy the Middle of December (even with lots to remember). The Life is Good guys said focusing on 'something good that happened' each day to answer their Mom's dinnertime question paved the way to their $100M

A little inspiration goes a long way sometimes, to help one journey through ages and stages of one's life. What used to be a given in terms of a woman having her own baby, nursing or doing much of the care with a partner or alone, and sending the youngster off to daycare or a nursery school or to be cared for with others who can mostly talk and use the potty has largely shifted.

More women plan pregnancies that work with their fertility, their work, their partner (actually optional for many with about 15K thousand women choosing to become single moms from the get-go with in vitro, or maybe agreements from a donor they know), surrogacy options for need or convenience economically or otherwise, and many other arrangements that few had cross their minds 20 or 30 years ago.

With in vitro, more options to have an embryo develop in a woman's body versus in a test tube may make that a much more affordable option than in the past. Planning for decisions about any part of that process or of having children whether married or not, heterosexual or homosexual likley needs clarification in 'pre'-agreements much like prenuptials.

Sometimes if people develop a mental illness or other health issue, the other partner (spouse/parent) may need to help with living costs for a long time (even life long). Similar 'hidden agendas' can be that a person may have to provide support for a spouse who emigrates to this country even if they have a green card and job initially. That may be for a set amount of time or longer.

These are the kinds of things to clarify in agreements which may not necessarily hold up in court. Going to court generally can involve high filing fees or high attorney fees although some states have some free legal aid or actual attorneys. Still, before getting trapped with needing a legal exit from a relationship commitment or to govern the care and support of one's children, it makes sense to find mature caring friends or consultants who can help people understand what they are undertaking in terms of time, costs, support from agencies or even more personal networks and faith groups and more.

One generation can help the next (and sometimes vice versa as new services and insights become available) but it is no one's job to educate the public at large and far and wide. That's why I pursue sharing in this candid way. None of this should be taken as legal advice (which I need to clarify to protect myself and hopefully I am doing an adequate job.)

Thanks for talking with others as seems safe and reasonable or for encouraging people of all ages to review matters, whether theyve been with someone or alone for years on end, even decades, think they have wills or elder care figured out or not. Making sure and reviewing things could be done annually or more, like getting a physical exam and insisting on learning one's Numbers such as Blood Pressure, Fasting Blood Sugar and A1C (which give an overall summary of a few months) and other basics like Iron levels and an abuse/ safety screening even from anonymous sites or hotlines. Start somewhere and move forward with support.

Likely these kinds of significant 'starts in life' will only continue to be fine-tuned as technologies and social and societal agreements, both legal and otherwise play out on the stage called Real Life, planned or unfolding without much of a plan-plan but more of no-plan plan even as many find themselves part of.

Much comes to light in examples and ideas shared in 1980s book by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robbins Your Money or Your Life (and another book Getting a Life which shows examples of people using the Nine Steps of the first book to rethink their past, make peace with their past and understand their present as they craft future dreams and plans to keep track of their time for living and their money and options for care for themselves and others.) I'll need to review the details as I can but the jist of the two books which many find life-changing would be a good start for any singles, couples, families, friends, faith groups and communities to use with their study guides available from their non-profit.

The Life is Good fellows are in the news for sharing the question their Mother of Six would ask them regularly to reflect on and share around the table--"What is something good that happened today?" I had a similar inspiration to ask Vassar College students that question in the early 1980s as part of a special weekend called "February 3rd" which highlighted Vassar Voices. The two thematic questions were "What Do You Like About Vassar?" and "What Would Make It Better?"

There were various forums to share ideas from bulletin boards with Community Valentines (cut-out hearts with quotes to inspire thinking about relationships, friendships, community connections, love and good things, even harder stuff to--how to cope with work, studies, health, life, the basics and the big stuff.) Notes to friends with first names, groups or comments about teachers, the campus, activities (such as my fave the BSC-- Before School Conference which welcomed new students by older students in a big camp setting at The Farm with a Contra Dance I later helped organize by recommending The Berkshires Mountain Laurel String Band. They played that gig for the next couple of decades. Sometimes good ideas do catch on readily.

Overall, most town plans which need to be done every ten years hold a sense of what citizens want to see improve (keep the good, make it more available and steer clear or heal the not-so-good.) Permaculture speaks of the ethics of 'earth care, people care and resource share." A talk on www.npr.org about providing better services and not discriminating against people on the basis of race, income, or gender (including transgender) was important to understand demeans people and also become a costly wave of millions of dollars lost since many transgendered people lose their jobs and have a hard time finding another.

The #EarthToParis talks were urgent in their message to get more countries and therefore more people from all walks of life to be careful in the choices they make, yet some have said Corporations are leading the way, for better or for worse. Mostly, that's been for the worse for the oceans, air, and earth and yes for most people on the plan-it as well. Now more people know where they stand and having courage and hope is key to feeling empowered to make a meaningful difference.

The saying "There are those who curse the darkness and there are those who light candles:" fits for the hard times anyone faces, alone or even when realizing we are 'all one'. We can do a lot to heal ourselves from the inside out, with better relaxation, sleep, eating, connecting, nurturing, sharing, studying and working in groups toward common goals for the good and sustainable kinds of living that are a win-win more than a winner-take-all.

Thanks for tuning into the healing, caring, forgiving, helpful messages mixed into the seasonal celebrations whether in nature, of a more societal or spiritual dimension or physical day-to-day appreciation for the gifts from the past, those in our present, and those coming down the road a spell. Might we light candles and sing our heart's desires to affirm our part of the greater presence accompanying the beating of our human hearts in harmony with the hearts of all living beings, sentient forces, all of nature and our mother ship and the good connections both human and divine that carry us through one part of life to the next.