What Can We All Think About (and Pray About) Doing in Light of the George Floyd Terrible Turn of Events and Actions and Inactions of the Police and Witnesses that Day?

Added Note from a friend summarizing a doctor's letter to the editor: 

The following blog post by Catherine Palmer Paton (of CT) on Livfully.org blog.

As our world is glued to the outcome if not the daily viewing of the George Floyd case we can take a moment, even a full ten minutes, and find a time to sit and reflect or pray for guidance. I should do that first, but don't want to lose momentum to put this post out as soon as possible so will share some thoughts here..first with a prayer from heart to heart and to the great love above, including that of George Floyd's spirit, his loved ones in spirit and the millions who feel compassion and connection with him and the cause that his final minutes on this earth put at the forefront of our conscience and need to comprehend what happened and how that transpired and its many implications.

Trusting in the values of truth, justice, love and compassion, healing and a great shared desire for an acknowledgement of each person's equality as a human being on the planet is one that can guide our hearts and minds at this time.

Seeking the path of connection and communicating respectfully about the times and challenges we face today, many that have resulted from past crimes against large swaths of humanity and call out for transformation and collaboration are all key touchpoints at this time.

Asking for guidance to 'treat others the way we would want to be treated' (not what happened or what we believe would be a fair revenge to get even but to leave that kind of consequence for everyone's spiritual growth and healing to the divine.) We may really be energy beings in physical form, that all deserve tremendous respect and love for incarnating at this time.

While we are taught that 'each person is responsible for their actions' the truth is we are born as babes and in bodies that seem to have 'a mind of their own' in terms of the the physical workings, chemicals created and flowing in one's system and if we're lucky, brains that can help us make sense of our 'inputs and messaging' to help us feel accepted, valued, capable and connected in our earliest time of growth in utero and as new people on the planet once we are born.

The influences of the first formative months and years impact our lives in profound ways. The socialization, care and community we are born into are the sliver we can influence and who doesn't love the idea of a human being formed and welcomed into a family or caring set of folks, especially if that is the mother's desire or if she is open to assistance to 'let it be?'

With modern education (not widespread in all parts of the country or world) birth control and education to prevent unwanted pregnancies could be a priority to allow each female, girl and woman support to grow up safely and with the recognition that she has the potential to bear life but is not required to and should have a team of support if choosing to do so or okay with becoming pregnant unintentionally.

If most of those pregnancies can be prevented by helping more men and the society at large acknowledge the profound shared responsibility being a birth mother is then hopefully the funds and support to allow a female the help to choose a path that reflects modern norms for living safely and with support could be shared. 

All of that is a lot to consider about the journey each of us has in life, first as a newcomer to the mortal family or community we are born into, and then nurtured over at least a few years to survive physically and hopefully with social stability as well. Many recognize the mother-child bond as sacrosanct.

That was often discussed as a critical component to a child's healthy growth and socialization although the number of hours in the day (perhaps two in the morning, two in the afternoon and two at night) as a basic minimum to aim for early in life and then at least an hour but likely more like a half hour in the am and pm being move the norm for working parents, a mom or dad, to engage with their child.

Hopefully with a consistend caregiver Iand videos, photos, stories and such with ongoing visits over the child's early years if not lifetime with zoom or FB social ties,a young person can essentially have their own account in life and way to connect the important aspects of their growth and care. 

With schools often being linked to a person's basic reading and thinking abilities as well as social and life opportunities that is another central aspect society can join forces with families and friends of youth to establish a stronger personal support system and path for each and all youth from an area or with a shared interest to have more support.

Yet often the difference between an extended family model and the nuclear family or a more isolated or varied set of caregivers and educators play a role in a person's life often with mixed results, hard to track or see what is working and what is too stressful.

Too many moves, not adequate nutrition or homelife support, conflicts and changes can spur healthy responses from a community to pitch in but ideally there could be well-established guidelines for how to care for a person at any age and stage of life. Often younger children can learn to help with caring for elders in need by doing errands (even bringing them food or a drink of water or thickened liquid if water is not safe to drink, for instance.

Bringing them the phone or getting something on television or reading the paper or giving them a call can all be important stepping stones to helping care for someone and get to know them. Often that is a two-way street where an elder can feel they are also contributing or at least included in a real life path of growth and connection.

Caregivers should all have support and ways to learn from one another. When those are the norms, someone who has an illness would not be expected to go out on their own or do errands. If someone needs something at the store, not going in if one is sick would result in someone picking up what is needed and even loaning them money if funds are low. Those are some of the 'simple root causes' that unfortunately factored into the initial conflict for George Floyd. 

If someone has a short-term health condition such as diabetes, hypertension, drug use, COVID or the flu, other kinds of asthma or a heart condition or is on medication etc then wearing a bracelet indicating a health problem would be helpful. Ideally they would have support to heal and live a rather quiet, peaceful life so as not to exacerbate matters for their own health.

Each person shopping less, such as during the pandemic, has resulted in far fewer cases of flu for instance and really very few deaths compared to a normal season.

These points about how we live in a regular manner, with more conscious choices about who is going out shopping or interacting with people, who is driving a vehicle Iand for many errands, mainly women could do the driving since they may be more considerate in general..my guess and I have a few posts on ways to choreograph who is driving when such as men on odd days and women on even days, and at which time to a concur with a direction such as North at the top of the hour and South on the half hour to avoid people driving opposite ways (especially on country roads, around corners etc and with deer and such when a driver may swerve and cause a collision with oncoming traffic, etc.)

That would also make passing safer in terms of not having as many oncoming cars to try not to hit when passing which is a problem more than one would think. Many roads meant for 45 mph (even country ones with some curves) should likely not have passing lanes. I thought of that yesterday going up Route 7 in NWCT especially because there are two three large businesses near a curve with one road entering. So what's the point of going so fast for the 7 miles once one is out of town? Really not necessary and new large STOP Signs at a place where the road forks are often Not Followed! So All Drivers Beware! There has been a one fatality at the Route 7 and Route 63 intersection in Falls Village CT.

A national story could be shared about the unusual intersection and the traffic flow along that area monitored to alert people. I have thought there could be additional signage a mile or so in advance of corners (small but mighty, bright orange with wiggles to warn folks along with a lower speed limit etc.) The signage on Route 44 in Salisbury CT near the Salisbury School (a private school) was installed after a fatality there where the road curves a bit this way and that at the top of a huge hill. Sadly long ago a person driving out of a drive was hit by one of two fellow racing up a very steep hill, so completely reckless with unintended consequences.

The drivers survived but of course that is not always the case. Another very dangerous area also on Route 44 is going over Dutchess Bridge due to the curve just out of North Canaan CT. So again there could be teams in every state and town sharing on FB and otherwise photos and information about dangerous sections of a road but also encouraging everyone to drive a bit below the speed limit in general (since some drivers are impaired due to aging in some cases, being too tired in the a.m. or p.m, using prescribed or illegal meds, being under stress (especially on Mondays mornings and around daylight savings time or other transitions times or events like graduations, proms, weddings and so on when people could have designated drivers or teams (such as for moving after a graduation or from college or any time especially if older when stress can catch up with someone or going to a new place and people can get lost.) 

Well those are the practical kinds of ideas communities can consider and review other posts about.

I have a lot also about what police 'could and should' do as well as Not Do. I wrote about these things regarding the Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin cases, without learning much from the news. Common sense should be more common in all fields and areas of life. Having a clear way to disagree would be important for more people in work and response teams to have and even call in a mediator on an app if there's time.

Short of that everyone needs to train for when they need to go outside of the norm and what they can legally do to insist on 'changing places or leadership'. If there are teams, then Team One could replace Team Two even if each has only two people or even a single person. 'Switch Off" Could be a command that more practice for 'just in case situations' such as if someone feels they may throw up or have diarrhea?

What if Derek Chauvin had had some urgent human need, or even a bad headache if George had been able to headbump him or did so by accident during the struggle? Then Derek may have had a concussion or internal bleed. Maybe Derek would have fainted from stress and the others would have taken over or he would have given some sign He Needed to Take a Break and let someone else replace him for a bit.

The idea that one person has command over a situation becaue he has seniority or a personality that is controlling in an unhealthy way is one that we are witnessing over and over again. There are critical broken parts of many systems we all rely on or hope are in working order. But all of that needs review...

Everyone should know what the legal and illegal ways are to report someone, to intervene in a conflict (by making another 911 call or even asking for the fire department to come to attend to a possible fire etc... Whatever it takes needs to be reviewed.) As many have read on this blog and over a decade ago, our late teen son Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton had only a few minutes to decide whether to save his friends from serious whitewater. He was able to rescue two by reaching out a hand while still on land.

That is a theme we can all carry in our hearts and minds, to do all we can for self-care and accountability in relationships and overall living routines and being aware of the practical and legal guidelines for caring for ourselves and monitoring the behavior, actions and travel of those in our circles. The youth were not supposed to go to the Falls without two adults supervising appropriately and only allowing them to swim if the water were still or safe...and not to jump from rocks on the sides or from the river bed, whether 20 to 60 or 80 feet.

Those rules and guidelines are needed for people in our country who jump from bridges into rivers and lakes for fun or in quarries since the risk of harm is too great. There are often people drinking or hitting an object below or fooling around and pushing someone off or into cold water.

Plenty of people slip or otherwise fall in a dangerous manner. So better supervision for those who are really feeling they need or want to do that who are over 18 or whatever other criteria may make sense (such as alerting medics and rescue people in advance and getting medical and life insurance etc..)

I explore a lot on Remembering Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton on this blog Livfully.org to help others not miss the critical agreements that legally and practically could be part of the fabric of our modern times and countries. More youth need to consider the terrible risk and loss that can happen in the spirit of 'just having fun' and taking serious risks. Many parents and adults allowed that even after agreeing to supervise youth if going to the river to boat or swim.

No serious discussions along these 'back story' and current practices have been held since people were shocked and concerned about the turn of events. If a workplace fatality occurs there is a thorough investigation, but with the loss of Kaelan, it was no one's job to ask tough questions or pursue an investigation into what happened.

A similar lack of appropriate response happened when Tom Drew wandered from his home in Salisbury CT. Even though there was no foul play in his leaving the home, there could have been more done to confirm the caregiver's story and to seal off the house for purposes of preserving the home for the family or others to consider matters. Those concerns are explored in Searching for My Missing Father by Allison Drew (available on Kindle.)

Even though she paints terrible allegations and reveals many 'dark secrets' of the area and difficult news about some police feeling Kaelan's passing was karmic for his mother allegedly not telling the truth that Tom Drew wandered during the end of a daylong caregiving shift, there is something we can all learn from to improve things. Thanks for thinking on these difficult matters as a key player in these times which we all are whether due to corona concerns or being an advocate and fair team player in relationships and life. 

Let's hold all of this in our hearts as we learn more about the case being heard in Minnesota about the George Floyd turn of events and tragic world-shaking loss of life that moved our hearts and minds...and is calling forth our utmost attention to every aspect of the the gifts of life, society and justice...

Let us keep all the good causes for justice and healing in mind and seek to be part of the solution and wave of compassion we all need in these times. Our son Kaelan Paton's memorial service is on youtube in short segments and has a lot of singing and promise shared by the hundreds who gathered in July of 2009, a month after his passing at age 16 and 5 months. Some of his thoughts are shared by his teacher Monica Connor and the rescuer Skip speaks also midway through the community centered event. Maybe it can bring solace to share in that aspect of our humanity... I have written many posts over the years as events and times moved me and also songs with a verse inspired by Kaelan who I felt had another message:

"Life is bridge we gently cross. As we go over it, we all feel loss. But the Gift of Love is ours to give, In how we die and how we live."--Catherine Palmer Paton, honoring those whose life's meaning may be profound at the time of their passing...and to honor their lives from the very beginning and trust that the spirit like the river of life itself, flows on with Great Love guiding us all...As we all heal then fewer will feel the need for revenge and can build meaningful alliances and ways to share our one small earth with a sense of one shared heart for the human family....