Welcoming 2019 with Reflections on the Last Decade...DRiVE ( a book I just read by Dan Pink ) says good to think with flow and with others...

After many nice events in Connecticut in December at churches and nursing homes and libraries, walks and talks, and some in Great Barrington MA (including a nice clothing and item swap, always a big hit whether small or larger with donations picked up by a non-profit), I got to travel to NYC.

This last couple of weeks have found me in Brooklyn spending time with family and friends, and many more folks at churches and enjoying talks and such on my computer. Thanks to all who are part of our communities..in CT and NY and MA too.

The good times help keep us afloat when times take a turn for a change, challenge and 'loss', yet more and more I realize How we view something can shape our experience of whatever it playing out.

I was able to watch the full set of Kaelan Paton Memorial Service Parts 1-10 (each about 10 minutes long) over the day today, and feel it's very helpful to reconnect with what transpired and have a sense of the past decade (June 16th would be his tenth year in heaven, but as I've mentioned, he was born January 6th, 1993, at 12:14 am at home in Sharon CT.

That was planned and we're forever grateful to our midwives who managed to show up in a timely manner...and for all who have helped with many kinds of support from the get-go of our parenting adventure...and even big changes that came our way in the years prior to Kaelan's passing.

There are many 'lessons to learn' for all people to have support and 'take the easy, less contentious way' out of any conflict..even long-term problems that seem to have 'no end in sight.'

If we are given a minute, we can take a chance on healing and seeking new helpers..here and from other realms to help shift realities and allow for better resolutions for all involved not only in an immediate situation but in the social and cultural circles that they are playing out in.

"It takes a village to keep people in sync with the reasonable ways of planning a life and following through with fair play."

What many children are learning in school today about being safe and having support to work through problems needs to spread to all other age groups before our society implements more ways to allow people to get carried away or 'stop someone in their tracks' with an unsafe police intervention.

Since the courts and police need to do what the laws say, it is sad that the laws are taking a while to address what needs doing.

Even the more specific 'primary aggressor laws' that are supposed to prevent victims of abuse being arrested have taken a while to implement and are still not keeping dual arrests to the intended lower level than expected nationally in the past ten years.

So we have more progress to make there and in many matters related to what people are fully informed about when making life-long or parenting commitments.

Likely more guidelines with options could be put in videos online for individuals to listen to with supportive friends (not necessarily their partner or people they are even planning a business with initially.)

The person should take a few months to think matters over carefully and be quizzed in writing or recorded with their answers on a cassette or video so people can help assess whether they really comprehend what they are doing.

We now know many chemicals and emotional factors can color someone's sense of 'reason'.

Young people under 25 may not have well enough developed thinking with foresight and comprehension part of their brain (frontal cortex) to appreciate the long-term consequences of what they are feeling, doing and committing to over time.

That was likely the case for most people long ago, so the sense of being able to 'improve things for younger people' may be hard for most adults to consider. They likely 'did about the same or much more serious stuff...such as starting families young and facing the mandates of adulthood with few options due to gender roles and lack of education and jobs depending on what Their support system provided.

The laws and history of our country have needed young adults to 'take on critical responsibilities' yet likely we were asking too much of many.

In addition, going to war or into the military may be another area that needs our collective review since no one is ever sure 'whose war our people are really fighting'.

The tragedy of 9-11 is much larger likely than the public has ever been allowed to discuss so more online research is encouraged...and the notion that What IF (as No Lies Radio and others, including Steven Greer say)most of our media has been complicit with cover-ups or deficient with key information and leaving not only our country but our world and its role in the multiverse in serious jeopardy.

The responsibility that seems to belong to 'none of us' in terms of a job or social description, likely Belongs To All of Us. Too many young people being neglected, abused and confused have paid the ultimate sacrifice to our own 'excuses and abuses.'

So time to turn this ship around and find a lighthouse of guiding wisdom and ways to bring everyone into a tribal understanding of early interventions and ways to give more people ways to find safety in all aspects of their lives.

Support for such ventures whether practical care or economic is daunting but likely that too will come into focus as we allow ourselves to clarify our terms and goals we are seeking. Thanks for bearing with me in these difficult, 'let's get real' posts.

We all likely could use more support and attention to figure a lot of stuff out in our personal and social situations as well as the larger societal playing field. We have some ways to do so now but with a few laws or technical changes, that too could change...

This year a tremendous stride was made with the proposition of House Resolution 72 (which still needs to be heard in the Senate after passing in the House.) Resolution 72 (please look it up and consider it took years to come to the floor) would provide a life raft and security blanket of protection for alleged victims of violence to leave safely with initial custody of their children.

All adults need to do their homework and understand why this is critical and the historical lethal shortcomings of not providing for basic safety for victims, primarily women and children.

Applying other better game plans for people in general, especially youth and those who may merit extra supervision (basically all young adults and even most older ones...) would include voluntary reporting of what one would like to do and double check it is reasonable with basic safety and community guidelines.

People in urban areas have a hundred more 'rules' they live by than people in rural ones. Most people don't even drive in a city, but everyone needs to know about crossing the street safely, not chasing after cars and buses and basically knowing how to be safe and appropriate in crowds.

Being a teen has its challenges and likely a video game and more outreach could help people weigh in on how to encourage skills and fun without putting anyone, including rescuers, in harm's way.

Parents, teachers and other responsible adults could all work to be 'on the ball' with clear safety guidelines and realize permission to do something is not only up to one adult or the next.

Things need to be 'approved' by a basic common sense set of guidelines...such as no drinking and driving, no dangerous outings or sports without proper precautions and permission from state, local and socially responsible people.

Sounds a bit stifling but hopefully this would keep everyone in the game longer and stronger and help more realize grown up is great but one needs to stay in the game to grow...

Okay much love all around and hopefully we're all getting smarter across the spectrum from careful relationship 'start-up terms', ongoing commitment or change and exit terms as needed.

Even for working or caring for another person, legal agreements should be in place before work is started so everything is legal (and coverage with insurance and such in place to avoid penalties) and to meet any other terms (such as Medicaid compliance for spend down approvals and so on, which generally have to documented for all expenditures for the five years before one can qualify for medicaid.)

I cover more on my blog livfully.org to raise awareness and help warn the waves of people facing any issue that crops up in the game of life (in America, but plenty applies to other parts of world too...)

Hurrah for Ireland making a law against emotional and psychological abuse, that's something worth dancing a jig for. Lundy Bancroft (with many helpful resources) and CA Protective Parents have been helping many in our country for decades, and likely more laws will shore up the gaps soon.

Every day does make a key difference so let's all be part of the solution revolution!

I just heard these is a protest on Saturday, Jan. 12th in the afternoon from 2p-5p in NYC about climate change and the urgency of citizens taking action since there's little faith the governments will do what is needed for sustaining life on our planet in the next few years, which is to cut energy use substantially.

We'll all need to learn to 'be prepared' much as the migrants crossing into the US are doing. There's only one planet and we have plenty of caring, capable people to help re-organize our efforts as things heat up and the oceans (and challenges) rise. Let's think safety and teamwork, come what may, to make it through any challenge each day. All the best and let's all try to get good regular (as in nightly) rest. HugEnergy and Hugs, Catherine, Kaelan's Mom and overall hopeful spirit