'Start With Love In Case You Don't Get a Chance to Say Goodbye" April 11th, Sri Chinmoy's Birth date and day of remembrance of his many contributions to the world. April 12th, 2017 the day of a young man's passing. Lighting a candle with Big Tall Love

 For Starters, "I Love You!" Too often in wrapping up a phone call it's hard to squeeze a clear, heartfelt "I love you!" in at the end, so why not Start the call with a Hello and as the song goes.."I just called...to say I love you" for short, "I love you." Same thing when saying hello to people in your 'love you' circle.

As it makes sense, give a hand shake or hug or pat on the back to greet with affection getting down to business about plans and people to be in touch with (about more plans.)

The last time I saw my late teen son in a friendly way was on my birthday of May 14th, 2009, about a month before his passing June 16th, 2009 when trying to save a friend from dangerous waters.

He essentially became a kind of 'organ donor all at once' using his whole self and every breath to fight monstrous currents near a thundering waterfall that only minutes before he had jumped in for fun. He likely had tried to warn people not to jump in as he had done twice, realizing what looked somewhat reasonable was too risky. 

But the deafening din of the falls prevented any shouting from being understood.

He did hand signal his friends above to call 9-1-1 after he had managed to get two of his teen friends out from the currents from the Housatonic River's edge just below the Falls in Falls Village and Salisbury CT.

What transpired next were a set of heroic efforts first by him, Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton, our second of four children and only son, to save a friend who was likely going to go under after jumping, in part because he had heard Kaelan had done it twice.

Ideally everyone would agree to have a much more secure plan for any 'wild and woolly adventures' (and only those approved by community and parent guidelines.)

Unfortunately that group had gotten mixed messages and more permission to play it be ear than some of us had advised for years.

But this is where all of America and more of the world could glean wisdom to have shared understandings and agreements about living wisely, safely and sensbily to prevent harm to self and others. Kaelan's friend was saved by a rope rescuer and many efforts were made to secure Kaelan's body.

The river forces kept him out of sight for a week, then in the early morning, the day that Michael Jackson died, June 23rd, 2009, Kaelan's body surfaced and was carried down the river to the next town of West Cornwall CT.

A trainman spotted him and the recovery effort was successful even though challenging even then due to the high water and other factors.

Remembering Kaelan A Palmer Paton is a lengthy reflection I wrote online a few years after his passing, recollecting the day and that time of our lives.

Kaelan's service is on youtube and can provide comfort as a reflection of the overriding love and care extended family and friends locally and from the folk music world hold for one another.

Kaelan's grandfather, Sandy Paton, passed away only forty days later at age 80.

Sandy and Caroline Paton, Kaelan's father David's parents, founded Folk-Legacy Records, Inc back in the 1960s with partner Lee Haggerty.

Their group of friends and family are showing support now for Caroline whose 85 through a current gofundme.com to help during a time of care and need and echoing the appreciation of a lifetime of making music for thousands of people over their lifetime with their family and getting audiences to join in on the choruses. Most of the music from Folk-Legacy Inc is  on youtube and can continue to inspire more people to join together in song to mark their life journeys in meaningful ways.

  As Kaelan's mother I like to pay tribute to my late parents, Mary and Dale Palmer Srs. who passed away June 2, 2004 and June 3,2007 respectively, in their early 80s after brief illnesses, after full lives as parents of many offspring and dozens of grandchildren.

Kaelan was always happy to know he had dozens of cousins and knew everyone of them, often as some of his best buddies. 

Sri Chinmoy may seem larger than life when you read about him. Was he a magician able to lift more weight than most well into his elder years and achieve other incredible feats of running and athletic stamina?

Born into a simple life in India, he migrated to the United States feeling called to teach meditation.

And Teach He Did. Now there are thousands of followers of his teachings on all seven continents..and they teach meditation also as part of their practice.

I got to take a few free classes but would have paid admission to see Ashreeta Furman doing some amazing balancing and agility and strength maneuvers. I got to skip in front of the audience for some reason when he asked me to, and I decided to do so backwards on my way back to my starting place just to appreciate what I can do in my fifties.

Meanwhile many hundreds if not a thousand are gathering in NYC tonight for songs and a time of reflection on Sri Chinmoy's life and practice and respect them as their guru (I think that's right.)

There will be a series of running events held throughout the month and year which is also an outgrowth of the meditation practice. (Mind over matter, push past ones limitations...)

They are largely celibate by choice, some from youth on and others as they join later in life.

If they are with a partner when joining it can be important to stay committed and I am not sure about the guidelines beyond that. They are all vegetarian. I met a few dozen who all seemed content and youthful, positive and somewhat glowing, and friendly.

I found out about the offerings initially in a mysterious way. I was walking in Brooklyn and going down one street then another in the dark (with some streetlights though) and in a light rain.

I saw a piece of paper on the sidewalk face down. I was picking it up to allow it to dry on side wall, and I was a bit curious so read the info next to a photo of Sri Chinmoy.

I don't know if I really paid attention to the details but it was too wet to handle. Then I saw the same flyer a few days later at Pratt (Art) Institute and had a minute to look at the details. The free meditation classes were coming up and sounded good but I was new to the area and didn't know if I would get there.

I didn't think I would be there in NY but then was for that weekend. I recalled it was NY Meditation and was able to look up the info and get there. I felt that facedown wet paper invite on the sidewalk called me to the dance as it were.

I was able to get to a few of them and another few and to two of the April 11th gatherings.Both very lovely and glad I am remembering even though I am in the countryside of CT. Still I've gotten out for some skipping runs and reflective nature walks, including one to a cemetery.

A year ago a young man ready to pursue a nursing degree sadly passed away unexpectedly in a vehicular accident. He had been a talented athlete, particularly in basketball. He became an organ donor after being on life support for a few days. Many people have had an extension of their health and life due to his meaningful gift of life.His family handled his sudden passing with incredible grace and maintained their faith in the greater good and their Christian walk.

Unfortunately some people succumb to any number of downward spirals of despair, anger, self-blame or blaming others (which is different from seeking a clear understanding of what contributed to an accident or turn of events resulting in injury or loss of life.) A key lesson and safety protocol would be to keep anyone close to someone who passes and who may be linked to the person's injury or death in a very supervised setting.

Important timely mental health and support assessments for the person and their care team should be extended as a kind of serious community first aid and as part of a more comprehensive response. As many small towns and cities have volunteer rescue workers, likely another level of ongoing volunteer counselors and practical support people and programs could be offered to help prevent others from 'taking matters into their own hands' whether against themselves or others. These are difficult situations but timely to plan for as preventive measures from the present going forward.

Such responses are ways to honor the legacy of those who have journeyed on, the pain and suffering of the families and others involved and a commitment to honor the values of respect, courage and due diligence going forward.

These community responses can normalize more care and healing options than most may fine otherwise.

Perhaps more online and call support resources can be developed akin to Caring Bridge which can provide help to those who are ill, injured or dying. The reality is there is often a lot to process and sort out after an injury, loss, death or other transition. Even situations of conflict, moving, relocating, custody or civil matters could be viewed as public health matters that merit much more support and consistent care in every state.

The Battered Mothers Custody Conference (BMCC) held annually provides critical and even life-saving information that all citizens, particularly women, children and first responders should be more clearly informed about for everyone's safety and well-being. Counselors and advocates are too often stuck in isolating paths void of current best practices to keep  female victims 'safe and together' with their children  which is generally recommended by International Law.

In addition ongoing insight is needed to inform people about nutrition and health practices to prevent illness and chronic health challenges which often lead to an early demise. Dr. Mark Hyman has more information on those topics in a timely manner to encourage people to take health and better living practices into their own hands. Peace and light as we think of our collective walk on our earthly journeys. Here's to everybuddy's health and safety!