The Nitty Gritty at What's Wrong With the City (that Denies Abuse and How to Prevent It or Address It, even in CPS or Courts)

Sharing more info on Livfully.org about the upcoming Battered Mothers Custody Conference in Albany NY in April 2019...This important annual national event is full of wisdom For Our Times...and All Aspects of Society. Raising the bar of insights into laws, human rights, ways to Avoid these Situations (my hope to help clarify with more thinkers online and in groups around the country...) and much more...

So Stay Tuned and Thinlk Out Loud for Safety Planning and Implementing (stay with safe people and places, be careful even in cars and on trips, around tricky people of all kinds at home, in relationships, in social circles, and of course in schools, at work and otherwise...) This kind of thing shouldn't need to be stated but some folks are Out Of Balance (OOB) whether due to hormones or other chemical imbalances, lack of boundaries or understanding of how to think things through, and lots more that can add to confusion. Meanwhile many people may have 'valid concerns' or want to clarify a personal or social boundary but Don't Know How or Feel Comfortable doing so and add to the mix of blurred interactions.

Some are in Denial (not sitting by the Nile, actually in Denial of serious or other situations) and will keep folks in the dark, even themselves... to save face, hope things will change on their own, think NIMBY (not in my back yard) strategies will work over the long haul or at least the short run...and so shared advocacy can be stalled.

We think more about healing and collaboration, preventing harm and creating better accountability, so may as well do that for fun and with an ongoing effort in every state and town to get the ball rolling in that positive direction.

Thanks for all you do to think positively and seek peaceful ways of working through issues yet knowing sometimes it is best 'not to play with others' who are tricky (and maybe the option of having others around to supervise, review emails and be on phone calls etc more than risk personal interactions, especially alone, would be a good first step to address many iffy or dicey or serious situations.)

Again all team players for such a kind of monitoring system (ideally voluntary yet often can come up as part of conflict or mandate not of one's own choosing...)

An example would be helpful likely, so realize with kids in a school setting such as in CT, with a zero tolerance for hitting (even as a young child striking a teacher or kicking them such as from a chair saying 'get away',) a mandated set of terms can come into play such as police being called, Dept of Children and Families called, children put into counseling, and other interventions made.

In a custody dispute, a protective parent often a mother can lose access to her children by being pressured into 'taking the deal to do so voluntarily' rather than risk a court order if she is deemed unstable or volatile even due to allegations of such.

Once she as is often the case with a protective parent, is forced or coaxed out, particularly if a protective order is granted against her, she may not be seeing her children for the next six months. That can be part of an abuser's strategy to separate the protective parent, generally the mom, from her kids.

That pattern can continue over more months and years with very little insightful oversight...Every state is different but basically leaving the victims of abuse in danger if not worse. Ideally more people would be open to having support people monitor any and all relationships voluntarily so warning signs would not be missed and many aspects of someone's good care and parenting could be validated.

An abusive parent or person would ideally hear early and often about what constitutes abuse and a violation so they would not be confused or trick others or play people against one another, especially family and friends.

This stuff can be 'entertaining' in ways but mainly it's draining and worrisome. The fees for legal involvement, extra help and more can be taxing. But again no one warns the next family and community. That's the kind of change my blog hopes to highlight..

From another post with friends arout therapy i wrote" . I like that we are touching on helping others..and the balance thereof... See Battered Mothers Custody Conference (BMCC) which offers insight into our broken court systems and many parts of our society that should be advocating and protecting victims of abuse especially in custody cases. We could apply much of the same wisdom to fix things for elderly or others who are compromised in their advocacy efforts..

.It's a fine art but definitely a collective one... with room for people to feel their feelings and deal with options..many of which don't really exist or are compromised in harmful ways. US House Resolution 72 could be passed in the Senate as it has been in the House so victims of abuse would have custody initially (and the perpetrator only supervised time...for everyone's safety)

See more on CA Protective Parents Assoc and again, consider the wider implications... Thanks for tuning into this topic..and many others around taboo or secret topics in our society where too many have suffered harm and isolation...