More Comments on the Logistics of Disclosing Tough Topics (Yes Abuse and Naming Abusers Before Legally Prosecuted)
In case someone wants to clarify concerns, I'd listen. The overall courage of people to discuss things is not common..and since some had a strong opinion ..what were some things you find inappropriate or concerning.
I have offered the idea in many areas to 'leave names out' if at all possible and even in the case of sexual abuse, to try not to spell things out too clearly since we are often hearing others with problems feed off such stories. The victims and their families and so on (maybe for generations, etc) can be targeted...Should they be?
Of course not, but it's more common than not. in a very public case that was written 'chapter and verse' in the Lakeville Journal the person who initially disclosed was assured privacy..but that was to the agency not to the paper that had access to the police reports, etc. When an outreach letter to show that family support was sent, no churches or agencies contributed in their time of need.
Basically many local caring groups are needed to help people sort through an array of concerns, hopefully not quite so serious, but of course if that is the case.
That is a lot of what my blogging efforts try to do... often drawing on helpful resources and disclosing the brokenness of many systems. Once everyone can appreciate the limitations or complications of even getting help for food or other basics, let alone justice in a custody or divorce action (and my suggestion there is Screen Everyone Going Into a Court Situation for Any Reason but particularly for a family matter or a criminal one) for domestic abuse, safety and substance abuse etc and try to get them help Before they get too deep into a court situation which could drive many a person to stress out if not drink, drug or otherwise feel they are in the fight of their life whether they have an attorney or not.
If they have kids, the Number One Rule such as in Resolution 72 is to keep the children 'safe and together' with an alleged victim, generally The Mother. If more 'possibly abusive' fathers (or rarely mothers...) could Try to Allow for this given the huge miserable statistics of not doing this and of creating havoc if not harm or major violation of the kids (and or Mom..some of whom are abused in front of their kids..and yes, sadly that can be on any level..and yes in the sleepy lovely towns we like to think wouldn't allow for that, particularly in past years...but as we see the wounds and drama ripple out so it becomes more of a necessity to be more accountable and public about one's dealings and actions.See more on livfully.org and share your ideas after learning more from Duluth Model, and CA Protective Parents Alliance, Lundy Bancroft and Barry Goldstein. Thanks in advance for taking That Chance to Prevent More Harm or d..That last post would end with Prevent More Harm, Danger, Abuse --and there's an Array of that so look it up on WSS or Susan B. or Integral House or Elizabeth Freeman Center etc or something in NY...or mental illness, substance abuse (and the risk of ovedose or suicide intentionally..more common for women to act in and for men to act out and be violent for instance...) or death (accidental or volitional..or from unintentional neglect and lack of supervision of minors which is the law for all legal guardians and parents not only those in custody disputes ...) or related harm or death to those near or otherwise connected to the victim or perpetrator (understand?!)
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