Many Ways to Celebrate Community, Thank Heroes and Dig Deep to Make Meaningful Strides at This Critical Time in the US for POTUS Election
A wonderful tradition with so many sharing the same meaningful mission to join efforts and provide care and inspiration for people to live and drive safely, be neighborly and celebrate the many great things about communities that have been strong for over two hundred and fifty years...
We need to keep counting on recruiting people intentionally to take on the skilled roles of jobs that other larger towns hire people to do.
There are training opportunities in New York I just heard about so maybe some people would want to go to those programs and circle back with some of their talents in EMT (paid training) or fire school. For all who have stepped up early in their lives and followed through with their training to serve, extra thanks. Ideally everyone could learn 'basic CNA or Home Health Aid' skills since we will have huge numbers of elderly needing assistance, as well as many others of various ages and conditions...
Self-care is also important and can be promoted. I explore many of these ideas on livfully.org as a community service to our country...and wider world, some of which does not allow for such outreach especially by a female. Women are waking up around the world and more men and other or non-gendered people as well to realize 'we are on the clock'.
It will take huge numbers of people joining together online, in their communities and social groups and more to make successful strides into the next months, years and decades.
This year the Political Scene in America is one Everyone needs to tune into and not just trust 'a few good people to figure out' and deal with the consequences.
Democratic Presidential Candidate Contender Marianne Williamson has been educating people as have others about the importance of citizen activism and being part of the grapevine to get people involved in voting in a capable, caring President of the The United States (POTUS) in 2020.
More Republicans have been challenged seeing that the earth is being trampled on in ways that are not only intolerable but could prove our demise. Most women and children and plenty of men are aware any suffering of abuse was not only the result of a perpetrator (one or more at a time or in their life) but also a systemic inadequate response from our society.
We are seeing a full blown 'dismal shakedown' of family values and protections, particularly with children being taken from their mothers, which is against International Human Rights Laws and against the best interests of the children for safety and healthy development.
That kind of thing has been happening "behind the scenes" for decades in many custody court arenas, child protection services and more. Women are often held accountable for abuse their children suffer at the hands of the father, rather than the abuser be educated and prevented from doing more harm.
Ensuring there is a safe way for women to leave longterm (not head out to a life of poverty or need to move far from a social network as the only options) are important considerations for any area. Small towns can be more effective at addressing such serious matters since there are not many people involved compared to the numbers in need in a city.
There is a lot more that needs to be done. I cover plenty of that on livfully.org. Mainstream media does not, will not and maybe will say they 'can not' afford or venture to do so.
But that's 'not true' (whatever term resonates, feel free to consider the Harm Done to Victims and the wider community with escalating costs on every front, including putting responders and others at risk by Not Addressing this ongoing civil war in our country, unnamed and thus untamed. That is Domestic Violence.
The outreach Break the Silence of Domestic Violence and DVSur5vr as well as CAPPA, California Protective Parents Association all deserve everyone's utmost respect for their valiant efforts in addressing corruption and ineptitude and educating the American public.
There should be a 'required for your basic life safety and awareness' course for every person in our country and world to inform them about their human rights and the ploys that they may find themselves in due to their upbringing, state, gender, lack of education (including not being able to read or write, use technology, being isolated and more.)
Hope more people can feel the fire in their bellies over these fundamental issues...and get crackin' at making a difference while we have a fighting chance whether with more prayer, self-care, advocacy, art, music, movement, protests for what we do want and what we don't and Lots More.
Let's Let Love Win Out Over Hate and Complacency so we can See A Better Day for Ourselves and All that Come Our Way for Years to Come. Best and thanks for having the courage to sort through these thoughts and share with someone online or off... Best to Ever' Buddy.
These are the kinds of messages and responses I have shared over many years, based on benefitting from caring efforts from family, teachers, friends and 'golden opportunities' (including going to Vassar College in Poughkeepsie in the 1980s--more on that on other posts, a capable encouraging place as many other schools are as well thankfully.
We can work to improve the shared missions of all aspects of society to help 'regreen the planet, promote safety and awareness of life span developmental stages--including the way food, sleep, hormones, social networks and other 'less obvious inputs' in one's life can be transformative and healing, or detrimental if mistreated (so affects of not getting enough sleep regularly, abusing substances including food and alcohol and being isolated or without a secure sense of a life path from childhood and into adult years with basic standards of living.)
Helping everyone have some 'basic success' can diminish the drive for people to 'over do it', over consume and be content with the status quo and not be willing or able to help others or be involved in healing causes for these pressing times.
In June 2009, our teen son Kaelan Palmer Paton was part of a difficult situation where a group of youths were venturing into dangerous waters, first to look then to jump into but met with strong hidden currents (which schools could actually make a concerted effort to inform more youth about, as well as the physics of speed, the reality of the impact of a fall or head injury and the risk of slipping or losing one's balance when on rocks or high places so not to 'go to the edge' or without special precautions (head gear, life vests etc) and only in supervised appropriate places (a tall order, but again good guidelines could be shared so some forethought and steps for success are promoted.)
There is a memorial FB Fundraiser Remembering Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton's Legacy running through August 2019 marking the 10th year since his passing. He had jumped in twice and that led to others thinking it was safe to do. Even though I had seriously spoken to him and other parents about that kind of possibility, and had agreements that only with adult supervision (ideally two competent people who could kayak and knew about whitewater) and a safe part of the river, those terms were not kept.
The worst fear of our son being part of someone's children being at high risk of drowning came to pass all too soon after I had been clear for a year or more that I had serious concerns. That happened within weeks of me asking court personnel to put clear language in a parenting agreement to avoid dangerous activity particularly at the river which runs through our towns and has a large water falls where people have had serious falls or drownings in the past. None of that was being considered by professionals.
Other adults either forgot not only my concern but any standard of taking serious precautions (by assessing the river, thinking to go with the youth and hopefully clearly have a plan not to let them jump in the river that day.) For any community, a standard of having professional competent people determine where there may be a 'safe place to swim' under which kind of conditions would be helpful.
If there really cannot be any swimming from a safety point of view or due to trespassing or other local rules. that needs to be posted and enforced with fines. If an injury or fatality occurs, there should be a full court press investigation so the community can be more aware of the many factors involved in such a turn of events.
There are many aspects of this kind of tragedy that need consideration and until there are greater numbers and serious coverage of advocacy it is left to the occassional parent or friend willing to go where no concerned person has gone before.
There are many things people can do Voluntarily to prevent most kinds of harm and difficulty. I am learning in my mid-fifties to speak out about more of these things. I have heard a lot in conferences about domestic abuse as it pertains to custody of children.
There likely need to be many more 'screenings' for more people to understand the risk factors including 'being a woman or child' or someone who identifies as female or likewise for the men.
Most abusers who are controlling, intimidating and harmful are males, but not all. In contrast, consider that every person ever born on earth was born by a female. Some say we have many lifetimes and have been both male and female over hundreds of incarnations. I reflect that generations of people did live before we did and we all have ancestors.
At this time our genetics are basically mapped out fairly clearly. With DNA testing we can have a very insightful sense of 'where we came from biologically.' When we consider the history of any country and time we can fill in more realities that our ancestors (if not we ourselves) experienced. Maybe we reincarnated through various life forms as well Sri Chinmoy and the Buddhists and others offer, so we have a kinship with all of life, not a major separation possibility.
Some advocate for helping everyone feel more connected to other species and all of plant life (which also is likely more alive than we've allowed ourselves to understand.)
Then we can see that many forces in nature are rather brutal and a bit of us no matter how 'good and together' has some bad..and the worst person has some good in them.That's as an Iriquois legend goes that I heard a snippet of the other day via a Grumbling Gryphons workshop (worth looking up their amazing homegrown crafty lively performances online to enjoy with your family and friends, schools and communities. They welcome donations so that's a great way to show your appreciation too and help their good work continue. Leslie Elias is chock full of amazing talents and her family and crew and communities are all part of the magic too!)
Many abusers were harmed themselves or have a culture that allows or promotes a kind of unhealthy display of controlling others (especially in one's family or social circles.) When a person can act in mean ways around family and 'switch to more appropriate interactions' around others (a boss, strangers, other friends) then you know you have a crummy controlling fish on the line.
But there are many ways victims cope and don't want to give up hope on a person who seems 'unstable, demented, not competent, never educated, or drunk or on drugs' or any number of narcissistic, crazy-making ways.
Sounds weird, right? But the drama and difficulty can be so waist high, like quicksand, there seems no getting out of it, especially if there are romantic or emotional or economic ties...or kids or pets in common or others one cares for.
Without enough places to camp out (indoors or out, in campers or other group facilities ideally) a person can feel trapped (with or without kids) into staying. The kind of courage and hope, planning and seeking measures needed to 'stay afloat' can tire a poor ol' gal or other victim out emotionally and mentally such that she's not exactly a dynamo at work.
One woman I met years ago somehow managed to do all that and yet even with turning her paycheck over regularly, she'd get slammed by her abusive male (he was the husband and father of her child but those terms need qualifying as well, such as 'legally, on paper' or biological father not to infer a decent standard of humanity or merit.)
Giving specifics would likely make people cringe but also would unfortunately give more terrible ways for people to harm one another. That's a problem with many news accounts so I have made a code for the body and the kinds of harm that can be done so that the replaying of a crime would not be 'bringing more energy to that option' for others whether when others hear of it or just having it in our society at large and over time 'numbing people out.'
We hear 'school shooting' now and barely blink (if a term..if something actually happened then we can still be alarmed, with others times coming to mind such as TANSH, Tragedy at Newtown Sandy Hook.) We know more schools are 'practicing with drills' and sometimes 'real actors are brought in with fake or realistic looking weapons.
A woman in Florida unfortunately was shot 'by mistake' as a community training where officers had their real guns in use supposedly with blanks. Wooden guns would have been better. Many of these kinds of 'drills' could be videotaped and shared so that youth would be more familiar with that before ever being part of a real drill.
Again oversight would be needed to make sure things go the way they are reported to be going even during drills. Sometimes in news coverage it can be the case that footage from such drills is used to convey what may have happened during a school shooting event, but should not be used to say that is exactly what happened.
With all due respect for the parents and community, that was a concern raised by some about the conflicting stories about Sandy Hook. In addition the idea that 'some families could be actors' was brought up, and people 'being killed' but only one person responsible for verifying that, with many responders not allowed on the scene for a long time are all important for people to consider in the realm of 'what might this mean' for government oppression of a building, a town and so on. We have to accept that the freedoms most Americans assume are in place and would be respected can 'turn on a dime.'
That means any person could be arrested, taken into 'custody' for questioning or other various departmental procedures (particularly for Department of Family and Children or Child Protective Services, DCF or CPS) investigations.
As helpful as they may be for some, there's no guarantee the people in the front rooms know what those in the back rooms are doing to make quotas or wheel and deal with other aspects of our society.
Some theorize that once children are in foster care and then adopted, the state doesn't look at them any more...and many may end up getting put into very unsafe if not criminal pathways, such as human trafficking.
I heard that a few years ago from people who were courageously informing some of us about 'what had happened in the past' and was revealed by some brave souls before they left the earth in their old age. That is the kind of thing that more young people need to hear and others who have children as well. That 'there are no guarantees' you can keep them in your care over their teen years.
State by state there are rules and regulations multiplying far beyond what I can blog about. I didn't watch much Oprah or modern television until a couple years of Desperate Housewives, Scandal and such...but couldn't keep up with the final years so maybe will catch up with some online notes. But the basic topics do seem to match a lot of modern headlines in DC and our society at large. I am learning as I can but ideally we would have teams of people in every state focusing on important matters with ongoing written commentary.
Who can remember what was said the other day even on a show with Oprah or Dr. Oz (actually I had heard he was covering the Ted Bundy tapes and new show about his crimes against women who fit a certain profile. In general women need to consider that their hair may be 'another body aspect' that some men and others may find attractive.
While there's not a heck of a lot women can do (although there are plenty of cultures that do promote covering one's hair in wraps, scarves and such...and maybe in part for this reason), being aware of that, even for young girls who should not have to be concerned of course, but then again, figuring this stuff out is easier if more people would cover some basics.
Okay, I will wrap up (eventually as it turns out) for now and hope that more people are seeing the value of being team players and finding balance in their lives, making peace with their pasts by behaving more appropriately (and having safer social boundaries, with supervised interactions with whoever that may be needed with short-term or longer, guidelines that are followed and understood by all as important
. Not touching others without permission even as friendly gestures and hugs etc is the latest greatest one for more people to help one another understand. Feel free to let someone know a boundary about a physical interaction (including with one's romantic partner or family who may have been more demonstrative with feelings or gestures in the past) that consent is needed in certain ways or on a daily or whichever basis.
There can be a range of 'consent' but that would not mean a 'blank slate' with no modifications. Unfortunately many religions and cultures do not clarify these things for all parties.
That's the kind of homework each state and community with businesses, schools and other groups filling in the blanks and fine tuning on an ongoing basis. Where one can watch shows or live theater there is another venue for seeing things play out that may be difficult to talk about or address directly. Ideally there would be more online and community discussion about which movies cover important topics for various age groups with an effort to share those far and wide.
That would be of interest for helping young children understand they deserve safe, friendly connection with their family and friends, but can still set meaningful boundaries by saying no or moving away from someone bothering them..and telling a trusted competent parent, teacher or friend.
The next level of societal response may include a mandater reporter needing to file a report for anything from an unexplained bruise to a time of conflict or concerning allegation of harm or neglect.
That has been the elephant in most rooms of America whether at school or in another setting. In the home and family, generally people may try to 'work through things'.
Sometimes that may simply be a 'might makes right' mentality where 'no one can talk to Dad' or maybe not Mom either if she blew her top. Even after a time of 'cooling down' unless there is a safe way for people to 'explore what they were feeling before, during and after the upset' a knot of emotions and interactions can leave people feeling wounded.
Where's the doctor for emotions? What are the root causes? Was it one person going off or getting upset do to something they are aware or? It it an internal problem with their hormonal and nutritional balance, a lack of sleep or an excess of stress in one day or over time?
The questions can roll on and on but hopefully with the internet grabbing a foothold to realize 'one if having an experience or situation' that needs more attention would prompt one to seek help.
Again the kind of help can vary so that 'simple idea' needs a lot more exploring and discussion in any community. See some of that on other posts and good luck in making your life, inside and out as peaceful and productive (as you and a good friend or two define that) for yourself and those in your circles. Peace and light, healing and 'keep up the good fight'...we're all counting on one another more than we likely realize.
(Surprise!) Consider however that those who cared for us when we were very young are likely a reflection of who we are...and our children and those we have nurtured and been part of one's upbringing over time are who We Are more than just them (or quite an equal mix...)
So we are very much intertwined. With more 'help spots' along the way hopefully everyone would find a way to get more clear on their journey and make more conscious choices to do what they feel really resonates with their being and overall life calling, whatever their roots.
I'm rooting for you! Hope I can count you on my team too. That's what many say our loved ones in spirit are doing 'on the other side' which is not necessarily more than 'a thought away.' Lighting candles of peace, hope and love for all those in spirit including those most recently who have entered that realm and their loved ones feeling their earthly departure.
Stay strong and trust more will go right than wrong even while sorting through what's what..It's okay and important to attend to concerns and questions, keep a journal and good notes with dates and people one talks with to mark one's journey.
The insights will follow much like fruit is born of a tree...and in time more will be revealed to us all, hopefully in gentle but compelling ways so we live more carefully and respectfully individually and with others as that works out in various ways over time.
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