Let's March, People... Into a Braver, Caring Creative Community and Country Reality!

With everything COVID blasting over the news and headlines for the past year, there's no denying people are 'only human' and need help from time to time. 

Taking care of others has been elevated to 'essential workers and even heroic status' locally and nationally and worldwide, yet caregiving basics have not been well understood or acknowledged as skill sets and legal as well as social and coordinated care arenas.

 Let's change that up whether 'at the border' (pick your border, but let's all be thinking with care and respect about those coming over the Southern Border.) Where are the welcome wagons, even virtually, for those in any community and even a renewal for all folks to have a fresh start of being appreciated as team players with wisdom and talents to share? Big group hug for US All in the world today...and those coming into being. See other posts for the idea of being one big human family with an energetic set of ties and meanings that point to Big Love running the universe... especially with ways to validate one another and support learning and care online and even moreso with community efforts and local connections.

 Consider also if you will the 'silver tsunami', a term I have heard for the last decade about the aging population which will demand much in terms of care needs, companionship (a key aspect of good care, even if monitored by video and with Facetime on iPhones and iPads and zoom calls on phones or computers or at least regular daily calls etc.)

I will explore more on Livfully.org about the dozens of questions each country, state, town and group and family could ask to get a handle on what are the kinds of needs and services to meet those needs...and the key questions about Who and How can fill those needs and service functions. Borrowing guidance for designing a project or program from permaculture, see The Turtle Garden Permaculture Game (and Circle of Friends in another post.)

Consider ideas of People care, Earth care and Resource share which are the ethics guiding permaculture, acknowledging people have cared for the earth and people in balanced ways for eons with respect for nature, care and keeping a balance with land, water and other key resources.

 The book Land by Simon Winchester explores what private land ownership has resulted in ...and many people are acknowledging colonialism and taking land from people such as the Natives in this country and other forms of rule over others who were not able to defend themselves but had to suffer social, legal and geographic losses if not injury and death. Climate justice activists look at the Big Picture and seek to create a path back toward equity...and understanding the vast numbers of people on the planet require doing things in a new way with an eye toward sustainability... 

So what's that got to do with taking care of elders, young children and everyone in between? It's up to all of us to learn options for how to help people with planning for the next five to ten years of their lives and in these times which have their own set of challenges and opportunities on many levels.

 Basics like knowing who is one country, state and area, whether here 'legally' or illegally, whether competent mentally and physically or not and so on could be a start to take a snapshot of where we are and help plan for how to secure more support for people at each age and stage of life. 

With needs for ADLs, Activities of Daily Living (eating, dressing, transferring, washing up, brushing teeth and hygiene, toileting or having support to address bathroom needs etc) are issues for the very young and  many who are older or compromised. 

Social needs to engage with someone daily in conversation and ideally direct interaction is also important to monitor mental health, concerns, social awareness and more. 

Medical care for routine and specific needs from dental to eye and ear needs as well as mobility, digestive function (ideally with regular daily or at least a few times as week bowel movement with digestive aids to have 'healthy stool' not hard or dry stool for instance that can result from insufficient fluids, lack of fiber which can be found in a product like Metamucil, or if someone is truly constipated to have Milk of Magnesia (with adult briefs and pads worn if any concern about getting to a toilet or commode in a timely fashion.) Those kinds of 'topics and realities' may sneak up on people occasionally but are often a given for many people as they age. 

All high school and even 6th graders on up could learn basic homecare help needs from videos and enjoy the idea that they are often capable of being supervised helpers for youth or elders or others in need. Keeping personal safety in mind for caregivers of all ages is important as well.

 Learning about safe and appropriate boundaries, not to be hugged or touched in any way that is not 'professional and approved' by other professionals and adults makes sense for youth to learn early. 

Finding a reason to get a drink of water or check on something to get away from an uncomfortable situation may be easier to do than to say 'Stop' or  'No don't hug me please or touch me like that' etc...but those are good to practice as is physically stepping away and having that few feet of space as a guide for most situations, allowing for personal space..

.Telling a trusted adult or friend of any concerns can be recommended often to all people in social settings and remind people to ask for help or share a concern so things do not fester. The late KarenKisslinger.com covered such topics in a video Critter Jitters which I have a copy of somewhere so be in touch if you'd like to see that or have me share it sometime with a group. Maybe I can summarize parts of it and share the songs in it.

If possible having a commode for an extra bathroom in any home may be a big plus for anyone who is sick or just when an another bathroom is needed whether to save on night trips to the bathroom or for special situations (pregnancy, obesity or other conditions.) 

Even a bucket or garbage pail can be designated for such a handy helpful solution to allow people options should the need arise, indoors or out (with an outhouse set up for instance) and directions to dispose of contents in a toilet in a timely manner etc.  Having a half dozen (or more) large yogurt containers and TP, toilet paper or wipes) in a plastic bag in the back seat area of one's car, even with other hygiene supplies, such as baby diapers or menstrual pads or adult depends etc could be helpful to have one hand should one get stuck in traffic and need to have a private way to allow for number 1 or 2 to take its course yet have a lid and bag handy to dispose of later in a toilet etc. That can relieve fears if 'stuck in traffic' or on a long trip without a place to get out and void etc.

Now back to elder care basics and others who need a whole life plan for care....we are sorely lacking as a society in understanding the sudden severe economic impact  or reality of paying for nursing home care.. or even homecare which is being covered by more states yet may still require one signing over the title to one's home even if allowed to stay in it. NY State is changing their laws along those lines in the next month or so, rolling out a longer look back period from One Month to two, then three etc to qualify for their medicaid programs for homecare etc. 

Nursing home care has similar guidelines which is a five year look back period (and some say that's going up to sevenyears...so really No Time To Delay...) I have a few posts raising key questions and suggesting ways to explore options...but all of that takes willingness to listen and learn from appropriate professionals and good online resources as well as others who have faced that path. 

Learn what to ask and how to pace things not to get overwhelmed whether a family member, caregiver, the person needing care, a friend or other associate, a Power of Attorney or other with a specific role to do and guidelines to follow, medical and support people, household help and transport people and 'other folks' including neighbors and community service or helpful folks. 

Thanks to all willing to warm up to this topic and feel free to PM me if you need help thinking things through or want to help others and create a forum to figure things out..what to ask, who to ask, how to handle emergencies or upcoming potential problems.

 The ideas of 'downsizing' or saving one's home with legal protections and so forth could be discussed in terms of theories and options from ctseniorlaw.com and other reputable sites to learn together. The NY CDPAP program could be helpful to learn about and even benefit from if one can talk with an elder law attorney to see if there are ways to qualify even in the span of a few months..

 Living in a state for six months and one day is usually the residential requirement if one is a snow bird, living in the south for the winter or another state or country for that matter... so lots of ways to review options and discuss plans with caring, creative folks...but every person deserves care and attention and sometimes 'life happens' with a health or caregiver needing a break or a change of care plans, so back up is important with ways to afford care or legally run a tab.

 Learn about Legal Caregiver Agreements and work with someone to make sure one has all the info and proper signatures, notary and so forth in place, witnesses and dates in place asap before working  and with the right POA or other official person being able to approve of the plans. Look into whatever workman's comp or legal financial info is required as well for household employees and so on as well. Each worker can obtain their own private insurance. 

A place like Winsted Nursing Care of CT has a unique way to help people obtain caregiving help, all of whom also carry their own insurance. Care.com and other sites may be helpful for more social workers and others in a community to be aware of to help people find the right timely help even short term while looking for longer term care.

Always  get a team together and 'do one's due diligence' which means learn what is required as an employer, employee, someone involved with making decisions whether a family member or friend, lawyer or social worker etc.

 Each role has its legal limitations. Each state has its own parameters and even if states are nearby many professionals cannot mention what is available in the next state. So important to create networks whether through faith or school groups or other ways to help people 'shop around' for the best options to protect assets and use funds more judiciously to afford an independent lifestyle longer if that is desired. 

There are many other important parts of life planning to put in writing and even on a video and send to a family member or healthcare representative or medical power of attorney. Whether one would want to be revived for instance or not (if not that is a DNR, a Do Not Resuscitate) and there's more to learn about that from  the folks that make MIDEO, My Informed Decision on Video. I trained with them to understand that aspect of medical care and the challenges for consistency among states and professions, so consider learning more. I can assist with people signing up for a consult as well. 

In terms of getting life insurance to cover one's funeral expenses or other needs there is a special kind of whole life insurance I heard if one qualifies for with a health check which pays in a short time even after the first payment (not needing to wait a year or two into the policy etc.) I will need to look it up but I think if was from Lincoln Life Insurance. Getting at least term life insurance is usually a helpful thing to put in place and the person insured is not the one who needs to own the policy. Sometimes if a person does own a policy, they may need to cash that in (a whole life for instance) to cover homecare or qualify for other programs etc. So realizing whose name something is in can affect how that asset is treated is important whether for college funds, medicaid spend downs or other needs. Again see some free talks online such as from ctseniorlaw.com and keep notes or jot down questions. Consider where one would want to live or how one would want to be cared for in the final years of one's life or if having a need for care. Find people who would help take charge in arranging that since sometimes family 'can't or won't or don't really have what it takes and may miss important steps in terms of arranging enough adequate care for home care or other aspects of one's care.' Dementia may come on 'over time' but shouldn't be assumed to be without consequence even if someone is 'still mainly okay and can drive.' Things can happen to leave the person or others in harm's way so best to plan for extra support for providing rides and companionship. Thanks for thinking ahead for Yourselves (and yes, I need to do more for Myself..along these lines but have some of it figured out and basic go-to people but room for improvement as there is for US All in the USA and all countries. ) See what doulagivers.org offers for promoting more care and awareness. Consider ways also for 'after death' options and even a vigil of one to three days such as is covered in The Parlour. Finding out what is legal and so on in advance can be a small group effort or hobby but sharing more widely can allow for more advocacy as well. In CT the recent passage of a law to allow for someone who is terminal with six months to live provides an option for that person to end their life with medical assistance. That is a difficult topic but preventing someone from a more violent or dramatic way or despairing way of taking their own life to end pain and suffering is humane step.

The Reconnection book and other faith groups around the world generally discourage one ending their own life however.. Those ideas could be shared more widely with all the various reasons. Many say we come into this world from a spiritual or energetic realm with a set of missions or lessons to experience...and with more complexity than we can comprehend...so hopefully we are finding out ways to address the mystery with respect and care...and to evolve with greater love as a guide and theme. That also seems a worldwide teaching for inner peace and healing, helping and a more caring world. 

With these various 'challenges and options' hopefully we can look at this world and all of humanity as co-dreamers,team players and visionaries who are doing something remarkable and good for not only ourselves but our communities and planet and part of the universe...one person at a time!