With the Insurmountable Challenges, Let's Get Real About Death and Dying... with Compassion and Community Care

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Just hearing Suzanne O'Brien, RN speak about these issues can be a relief, although 'there is no one easy answer' for how to even get important conversations going. The strides she has made along with many dedicated others 'behind the scenes' are coming to the fore at a critical time in our country's and world's Corona Consideration (and Craziness.) These programs remind everyone how basic and important it is to 'Pay Attention to What One Does Have Control Over' when it comes to one's life and yes, one's dying process or death.

Even considering having a one-page summary, a video and whatever is legally recommended (if not required) in one's state not to have 'extreme measures' taken to prolong life if that is not what one would want is important to learn about.

There is a pressing need also to make sure you, your health care representative and an alternate, as well as family and others who may be able to know about your health concerns are fully informed and that their contact information of phone number (and even another person who could reach them personally if need be with a back up number and so forth.)

Then there is the area of physicians and rescue people clearly understanding that a DNR does not mean 'Do Not Treat' but rather only "Do Not Resuscitate or Revive" if the heart has stopped beating. See the videos on Institute of Healthcare Directives and the research done that indicates many doctors and medical people are either not well trained or understanding the paperwork (especially if written in legalese and terms may vary.)

Why not work with others in your community and state natural networks to share this information and consider having a go-to team to help bridge gaps on many levels?

 Informing politicians and towns, schools and fire departments, doctors, teachers and workplace people (especially if they are now working from home) could help roll out a greater understanding of the process of 'hearing difficult news that someone is seriously sick badly, injured or nearing death possibly.

There could be charts with terms and a reminder of normal ranges of human emotions and responses. There could also be information about mental and social stress and strain (even somewhat like what COVID-19 has been bringing to the public and private realms.) We have in a sense gotten a crash course in dealing with an emergency, yet in a kind of slow motion.

When even oneperson in a family or social system needs more care, that can be a challenge to provide initially and over many weeks and months. In terms of dementia or limited mobility and other disabilities, a team of supportive people with skills may take time to arrange and maintain whether as volunteers or paid workers.

These are valuable investments of time and meaningful social networking however. Making phone calls, assisting with transportation or running errands for people is a natural way to build repoire and learn about who can help who, even when people are relatively well (and especially if they are relatives.)

Thanks for considering these matters in a more concerted way. Similar kinds of needs to prioritize safety, minimize risk and provide layers of support may be needed for anyone in a compromised living or social situation, including people with young children, pregnant mothers and expectant fathers, victims of abuse or neglect, deprivation or poverty, of victims of crimes.

Often there are special resources to help address these matters so one may benefit from community resources and a team approach, People of low income or displaced workers may also have special needs. Ideally more people can assist in finding short-term help and longer term solutions as well.

For instance if someone is needing to move or find housing, some things may need to go into storage. If someone's home needs to be sold, again a team may be able to help with logistics of moving so the person moving can find support in a smooth transition along with a family member or caregiver.

Each challenge could be shared with a supportive team with bigger tasks broken down into smaller steps with added support people rather than a few people trying to handle everything. That is especially true in terms of caring for someone over time. Getting some breaks and 'respite care' is often available. Even places such as Care.com may be a place to start to look for some help.

Many communities have Elder Care Support Services, help with household chores, yard work, transportation and shopping. Meals on Wheels or other food banks and community dinners can help people feel a stronger sense of community even if only used intermittently.

Likewise senior centers and other community centers, faith groups and local outreaches through libraries and other civic places can help people ask for help and find resources even if there is not an official social service worker in their town.

Thanks for being part of your community's Care Team., both locally and on the state and even national level. Good ideas catch on quickly with social media and even online marketing.

Finding niche markets and letting people help get the word out after working with a Small Business Association, joining with non-profits or agencies can all be ways to find one's tribe and become a helpful team player and person ready to share in the larger game of caring foe people and the planet with appropriate use of resources (and not over extending oneself, but that may require yet another kind of support person.)

There are many free helpful talks online and some reputable coaches too to help you 'grow your business' with small investments (not breaking the bank please) in ways that will be more secure and increase over months and years in a natural way, given steady effort and again often with some guidance. Take time to work with others about whether to invest in anything however, and to have a good business vision, plan and set of basics about legal and other parameters and start-up costs.

Even when caring for a loved one, there are things to have in place Before One Begins or it may not be deemed something one Can be paid for by certain parts of the system. I am not practicing law or medicine so am giving general ideas to help people learn more.

Other posts cover more of this kind of information. It's called Due Diligence and it pertains to many aspects of life, like the warning "Buyer Beware."As we live in the age of Corona we may as all consider ourselves about Everything that could be dangerous, illegal or risky, seen or unseen.

So it makes sense to ReThink Everything and Take Things Slowly but Steadily Make Progress! That means thinking of 'where you want to be in 5 years, then noting what benchmarks one would want to reach each year leading up to that time...and looking at the 3 month segments in the first year and the month to month actions in the first few months. then the next and so on.

By year 4 it may be time to consider what one would want to be doing 5 years after the first five wrap up...and so on. Some suggest living one's life Backwards from retirement to the last years of working or living in one area.

Where does one want to retire (near family, friends or in a certain climate or doing some work or volunteering or more travel maybe to two places or more like snow birds do in many countries? What kinds of resources will one need and how can those be obtained before they are needed, perhaps with an online program such as You Need A Budget (YNAB) or other key factors such as helping family or others who may need care or what to share resources? There's time and many options but they take some consideration. Working on one's inner game, mindset, beliefs and awareness of feelings and energy are all important too. 

Here's to a brighter future with everyone finding a team of support to bring their A-Game to the life journey, start to 'finish' and well beyond with support for one's loved ones to continue on with a positive, grateful vision and support for more success in living on all fronts.