Hello Every Body (Part One) from Head to Toe or from 1 to 10 (This time naming Body Parts/Systems with Numbers)

This lengthy piece can be viewed in a larger format on Google Docs with the following link. I recommend that, but also if you are wanting a more modest version or kid-friendly version, use the Part One tab on the post for that.  A link to Part Two will be on a separate post.

Part One Text

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Dp_5f_Owv4HZJDcpbKDr2X-yzfhWm3c8482n...

Do not use this to teach per se, but as a general guide with many of my own insights added to put a greater appreciation alongside the physical body and functions. We are not machines or robots, though we are similar in ways to both. If there are any inconsistencies or errors in definitions, that is on my part and not any research resources I used such as www.study.com.

Overall, hopefully more people will be interested in learning about the parts and functions of the human body (both male and female if that fits with their cultural, spiritual and religious views, etc but with all due respect realizing that may not be the case, that is why this piece is written in two parts. Part One is all age appropriate and generic, Part Two is more comprehensive in considering more (but not all) aspects of human beings and bodies. I am still fine tuning that section as of 7-15-16 but likely will have it up by the end of  July 2016.

As people feel more clear about their own beginnings and growth over their lifetime on many levels, ideally we can realize our similarities far surpass our differences. Common values of mutual respect and well-being could emerge as front runners vying for our collective support and survival. and shared success among the human 'race'. May be filled with grace and wisdom as well as knowledge and power.

Moreover we are like Beams of light and love (hopefully even if only looking out for one's best interest to survive or aspire to a greater human awareness of life and the common good, but maybe with openness to the other kinder influences and energies in the world and the divine should that exist.) BEAMS then can stand for Bodies, Energy, Activities, Mind and Soul. Being Alive is an Activity as is sleeping, dreaming, planning, eating, eliminating waste from the body, dressing, travelling, socializing, studying, learning many things and networking in many ways as one moves through various ages and stages of life.

For some females and males, reproducing, bearing or adopting children or being physically intimate is also part of their lifetime activity. Some theories say we emerge from a more ethereal realm than we can readly comprehend and map out physically, so in order of our coming into being, that would be more like Smeab.. Spirit or soul, mind (consciousness), activity, energy and body manifestation. So keep that in mind as we use the term beams travelling through time and space with others and keeping track of ourselves maybe even lifetime to lifetime with friends and family also possibly playing a bigger role than we have realized. Now to the links!

Part One Text https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Dp_5f_Owv4HZJDcpbKDr2X-yzfhWm3c8482n...

I learned when someone was helping me that to 'edit' and copy and paste, if you press 'cut' instead of copy and lose a lot of data (such as this document) there is a way to retrieve it quickly if you don't exit out in despair (as I have done a few times in the past when a site would somehow go blank or I would press a key and somehow land in Oz or no man's land.

THAT'S WHY I tried to put it in Google Docs, which I did succeed in doing just now after a few hours of relaxing to regain my calm and faith in the world. Even though the friend was able to retrieve my piece for me, I was so sad to think I'd lost the 30 pages I wrote yesterday, I was not able to recover quickly. Thankfully, this is not a job I have to do under someone else and I could 'give myself the day off then and there.' I thought I'd go for walk for a half hour yet landed at a nice park with a Farmer's Market and a fellow named Claude telling me about Planned Parenthood updates (some of which I've included here.)

Then after carrying a box of lovely delectables back, I almost got in the way of a car (need to really STOP at Every Intersection and say out loud what Color the Walk or Don't Walk sign is with the meaning..such as, "It's RED, STOP!" or "It's White (or Green) So Check and Go!" I think I'l add the Number One for STOP and Number 2 for Check and Go because when thinking of something else or talking or maybe too at ease, the Red Stop Hand Signal may not really be Loud and Clear enough for the message to get from my  #1Brain to my #10 Feet in Time.

Thankfully a car driver coming up to the green light blew  his horn and I quickly realized my mistake. So grateful to be alive and well and hope everyone can learn from my little snaffew. I have another post about Biking, Walking and Driving which I'll post a link too also. Heartfelt Hugs to All, and I received a gift from a teen who returned from Romania on a Youth Trip of Good Will who made and gave me a necklace made out of felt spiral rings of wool which I was wearing and happily can enjoy above ground for many years to come. Listen to a talk online from many a church and maybe from various faith groups to see the similarities and differences. Include Unitarianism which was founded on Transylvania in Romania..and now promotes care for all around the world for Every Body. Ideally that could be a larger message from every part of society, culture, community and family.

While most people know the song "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes..(which is sung twice while touching each part), Eyes and Ears and Mouth and Nose, Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," not everyone can keep track of left and right or names of other bodies parts whether 'up here or down there', inside or even out.

Here's a simple idea for numbering (with numbers and letters such as 1, 1A and 1B) the body parts we likely all know the names of in English, but in other languages that may not be clear.Also for practical reasons it may be helpful to have Right and Left clarified with numbers too, just to be sure when it's important whether playing a game, having surgery or needing to step on the gas with the 'Right Foot' when learning to drive and thereafter.

So here goes from Head to Toes and One to Ten: The Right Side of the Body will be A and  The Left Side of the Body will be B.

For something in the center or that there is only one of could be C. Examples such as the nose, corpus callosum which joins the two hemispheres of the brain. Other one in the center of the body organs or parts include the uterus or the urethra.I throw in a few extras such as from www.drsha.com regarding where energy or soul areas are. A few basics to learn more about include the seat of the soul housed in the center of one's chest near the heart. The message center for the soul to the body is in the center of the body near the diaphragm between the ribs. The Snow Mountain area is at the base of the spine near the sacral area. The sacrum is the base of the spine which supports the spine and is shaped like a teacup. Those are bonus ideas as we launch into mapping out the terrain of the human female and male bodies.

A tip I heard recently from talks on Jennifer McLean's "Healing with The Masters' program from Julie Renee was that holding the third finger on one's belly button or navel and on one's 'third eye' or center of the forehead could be a calming, centering  position to take three deep breaths in for oneself or even to do for another having a difficult time (child, someone distraught or upset if they are open to that maybe from earlier coaching, or someone hearing difficult news. Again, do not put yourself in danger, 'stay in your personal bubble to stay out of trouble.'

That may include not visiting or going to someone's home, school or work place without clear guidelines and permission from all parties involved (even laws or protocols of a business or library for instance.

Some places have rules that preclude solicitation or speaking with people more than very casually as in a hello. HIPPA laws mean privacy about someone's name, address, work, health and so on merit protection from professionals yet may imply everyone needs to work under that kind of basic guideline. Those ideas are in another post which I will try to hone in with which one.

Regarding this new numbering system, after the Number and Letter for Right (A) or Left(B) or Center (C), the name or another abbreviation or code can be used for a specific body part.

Although this may seem silly or childish to do, the practical application for consistency in understanding what part of the body and which side of the body one is talking about could be helpful when medical procedurers are being done, people of different cultures or languages are communicating or children are learning body parts and functions.

Keeping things 'label free' may help people be more at ease thinking of the function of each body part and system and help them feel they can 'connect the dots' or like a color by number picture, start to fill in the blanks about questions they may have about health, nutrition, overall functioning and more. After the number code system for body parts, there are ideas about how to maintain health and grow in productive ways with support from others, schools and communities.Feel free to share with respect to the terms of this blog which is at the botton of the page.

 I am not a medical or legal professional, so these ideas and all on the blog are to be taken as my opinion and not counsel. These are basic ideas and I am not an expert so use your own judgment reviewing posts. Use what is helpful to enhance your own systems and life and 'leave the rest'. Thanks for sharing though as you can.

Some posts go from simple to more complex or adult-type content though nothing here is not usually in the newspaper. Many ideas try to bridge learning gaps or cultural or developmental differences or promote recovery after an injury or condition whether physical, social or other life journey bump in the road.

1-The Head and Face. 1A-The Right Side of the Head and Face (1A01HF),including the Right Brain (1A02Br), Right Eye (1A03Ey) and Right Ear  (1A04Ea)for instance.

1B-The Left Side of the Head and Face (1B01HF), Including the Left Brain (1B02Br), the  Left Eye (1B03Ey) and the Left Ear (1B03Ea). 1C-Corpus Callosum(1C01CC), the Pineal Gland (1C02Pn) and Pituitary Gland (1C03Pi), The Amygdala (1C04Am) and even The 'third eye' (center of forehead) (1C05Fo), the Nose (1C06No) and the Mouth (1C07Mo), Upper Lip (1C08UL), Lower Lip (1C08LL), Upper Teeth (1C09UT), Lower Teeth (1C09LT), Roof of Mouth (1C07RM) and Tongue (1C07To)

2-Neck and Spine in Neck 2A-The Right Side of the Neck, 2B The Left Side of the Neck 2C-The Spine (2C05Sp), the throat (2C06Th), the Thyroid Gland (2C07Th)

3- Shoulders, Arms and Hands 3A-The Right Shoulder, Arm and Hand 3B The Left Shoulder, Arm and Hand

4- Chest or Thorax 4A-The Right Chest (4A01Ch), Lung (4A02Lu), Rib Cage(4A03RC) 4B-The Left Chest (4B01), Lung (4B02Lu), Rib Cage (4C03RC), The Heart (4C04He)-The Spine (4C05Sp) (The soul area in the center of the chest would be here too, as 4C06So)

5-The Belly or Abdominal Area,The Right Abdominal Area (5A01Ab),  Right Kidney (5A02Ki), RIght Intestinal Area (5A03In), Small Intestine (5CS04mIn) Large Intestine (5C05LgIn) The Left Abdominal Area (5B01Ab), the Left Kidney (5B02Ki), the Left Intestinal Area (5BIn), 5C-The Spine (5B05Sp)

6-The Pelvic and Genital Area 6A-The Right Side (Right Hip area) 6B- The Left Side (Left Hip area)

6C- The spine and tail bone, the sacral area at the base of the spine and 'private parts'. See more details  on Part Two (with parental permission or if over 18 and in sync with values about learning human anatomy and considering issues of dating, reproduction, partnership and more on another link in another post) for naming body parts in this lower pelvic region.

7-The Upper Leg, Femur Bone,Thigh, front Quadracep and back Hamstring muscles , 7A-the Right Upper Leg and Thigh, 7B- Left  Upper Leg andThigh

8-The Knees, 8A- The Right Knee, 8B--The Left Knee

9 The Lower Legs and Ankles, Shin Bones and Calves, 9A-The Right Shin and Calf Muscle and Ankle, 9B-The Left Shin, Calf Muscle and Ankle bones and muscles

10 The Feet and Toes and Muscles 10A-The Right Foot, Bones and Muscles, 10 B-The Left Foot, Bones and Muscles

While we are wonderful spiritual and energetic beings, we are housed in these bodies that somehow keep functioning enough to see us each through a day, a good night's sleep (ideally or rest at intervals to help us reboot our systems in various ways.

Chinese medicine and theories say the stars help recharge our organs and body. They recomend getting to be by 9:30 pm to be asleep by 10pm. From 10-3am certain orgrans get recharged and then from 3a-7a other organs get recharged.

If people can try that out and see how it affects them, America and other countries (likely even plenty of people in China) could discover newfound energy and cures to many ailments caused by lack of proper sleep. I love the thought of people being well cared for in the first place rather than coaxing symptoms away or having to deal with maladies due to neglect, harm or injury on any level. 

The analogy of a the body as a machine or vehicle that needs regular maintenance may catch on with those that like sports cars or sports, even healthy living and doing what one likes. Computer or Couch potato sitting may be our favorite national passtime but  is not likely serving us in positive ways. Some say that sitting is akin to smoking in terms of the poor health effects of longterm, lifelong patterns. Short walks and time to relax eyes and breathing for a few minutes every hour or so can help keep a person in balance. It is best not to jump out of bed and get running however.

See Dr. Sha online for tips about transitioning into and out of one's vertical busyness during the day and into a sitting then lying down rest and sleep time at night. There are even calming positions to sleep in such as on one's left or B side. Keep one knee (8 A or B) bent and the left arm (3B-Ar) with the hand (3B-Ha) under one's left ear (3B-Ea). The Right Arm (3A-Ar) is bent with thumb tucked in right hand (3B-Ha) and placed below the navel in one's lower energy center also called the Dan Tien or Hara, (6C-DT).

Breathing calmly while resting in this position, especially after doing the calming routine on www.drsha.com (and which I mention in another post I will hopefully find and include information on here) can help one fall asleep. Some recommend complete darkness and quiet or others soothing music for a short time or even silent CDs which may create a calming effect such as on www.giftsfromdevotion.com.

That goes for computer or other kind of sitting (and staring at screens) too which can keep one's brain mesmerized and engaged. Children or others trying to get to sleep would benefit in general by not watching more than an hour of TV at a time and not for an hour for bedtime so their minds can literally unwind.

Easier said than done since screens are almost magnetically attractive, so a clear routine for when to stop watching is important rather than simply telling a youth or other to 'stop watching'..they likely 'can't do it'...somewhat like not eating more than one potato chip.

Definitely worth learning more about how other cultures view our human body and sytems with ideas toward healthy maintenance and lifestyle. Ayrurvedic protocol as well as the Chinese have ideas about one's life and relationships, various foods and herbs, exercises and meditation, sleeping patterns and positions etc all being valuable parts of one's healthy lifestyle. Many forms over millenia promote health, not only trying to cure sickness.  Prevention with healthy, regular habits and foods promote health.

That basic equation is missing from our onslaught of advertixing on television (called an 'idiot box' by one old timer who did enjoy watching his share of shows but knowing there was some mind-numbing and brainwashing going on.)

The Waldorf or Steiner Schools discourage the use of television, videos or computer use or watching by children to allow their brain development to proceed in a more natural way. The energies of each part of the body and the overall evolution of a human being even after being born mirrors humanity's evolution.

Their system of education promotes hearing stories and waiting to learn to write and read until about age 6, and then it's done gently and artfully without textbooks. Rather they demonstrate with colorful chalk on a blackboard and have students create their own booklets from papers they draw and write on, often following a teacher's lead.

The children are not pressured to recite anything alone or learn things inside and out. Rather the natural learning of language and particular letters and words come about more organically through imitation and integration in verses and group exercises including art, music and movement and play.

Eurythmy is a form of movement that follows or responds to the sounds of vowels and consonants with a flowing quality. I saw a fairy tale Dummling performed by a troupe in that eurythmy style. They wore soft clothing that allowed for free movement.

Gestures and gentle movement found the characters enlivened and essentially dancing through the story that was narrated I believe. Puppet shows with handmade marionettes which women or men control in full view of a young audience is another way stories and language (as well as art) are conveyed to children and others to help awaken ther learning and growing as a young soul. With the emergence of the second set of teeth, children are considered more grounded (or more fully incarnated into their physical bodies around age 7) to take in 'more solid food' of learning about the bones of our language but the soft parts too through the introduction of stories, songs, verses and letters.

Rhythms of the day from awakening and connecting with the divine and other people in their class as well as with a reverence for the earth unfold with time indoors and outdoors to be energized by natural cycles of the sun rising and setting. Wholesome food is encouraged as well as simple clothing (cotton, no desgns, comfortable soft shoes or sneakers or even non-skid slippers in the early years before first grade.

The classrooms are a soft hue of pink or other pastel to again 'hold the child's soul' and promote nurturing energies along with the rounded architecturs and silk cloths that are often draped from a ceiling, above a crib if in a nursery, or in play areas where children can also use soft cloths and natural toys of small wood tree limb blocks ,woollen dolls or other handmade rounded furniture such as wooden chairs or cubes.

Often these can be used as toys and building blocks for children to engage with during free play periods. Recess equipment may include a hill for children to run up and down (even  a small bump of one made for that purpose), logs to climb on that are stood on end at different low heights around a sand area, swings, a slide or other simple natural forms (safe trees and maybe a small pond) for children to explore and incorporate into their imaginative play.

Too many toys or crowded space indoors or out is discouraged so a child's spirit can paint its own world with space and fredeom of movement.

In addition to the classroom offerings for children, parents are included in Steiner and other schools to nurture them in their roles and help them network to assist with classroom activities, parties (even one's outside of school such as for birthdays are often encouraged to have all of one gender or the whole class invited if possible to promote group unity.)

I found it takes public school parents extra effort to think of networking outside a school-sponsored event at the school setting. However, a new industry could emerge to promote area events through a recreation program, church or other group that speaks to those needs. In the northwest corner of CT, the six towns shared a Youth Services Bureau which towns supported after the benefits were realized.

They provided some liason services for parents and students, supplementing the school offerings and offering some counseling and parenting programs and libraries for parenting skills.

Most small elementary schools also developed such resources often through a parent-teacher organization or association (they can differ in significant ways) or other community based group or collaboration with libraries, daycares and other groups. The Falls Village CT Children's Theatre gained enough momentum to secure a building in town with help from grants from the town and much fundraising.

They offer a field trip to Shakespeare & Co. in  Massachusetts. The towns in the area offer a few daycamp programs which allow for swimming in town pools or lakes. Some towns network to provide for field trips, sports and other outings and skills including swimming and swim teams. Much often depends on a few adults promoting activities and forming programs.

Often many others want to join in, though the numbers can wane so planning for success of meeting numbers is key. Such communities may also need more recruiting for people, especially families with young children, to live in the towns to keep them viable.

PS Another set of numbers for the more 'private area' should people be interested in this option for naming body parts.6C- The spine and tail bone, the sacral area at the base of the spine, the pubic bone,For biological females other parts include: The Eggs 01.1,The Ovaries 01.2 (Ov)-6A Right Ovary 01.3, Left Ovary 01.4 ,

Fallopian Tubes (FT) 01.5, Right Fallopian Tube 01.6, Left Fallopian Tube 01.7, The Uterus (01.8-Ut),The Sperm (01.9), Fertilized Egg(s) or zygote(s) (02-FeZ), Uterus (02.1U), Uterine Lining (02.2 UL),Amniotic Sac (02.25AS), Placenta (02.3PL),Embryo (02.4EM), Fetus (02.5FE),

 A dash for the number of weeks can be added to the Fetus listing as in 02.5FE-20 for a 20 week old fetus.

Still in the category of 6C there are The Cervix (the expandable opening of the uterus and a passage that a sperm would need to enter to impregnate a voluntary receptive woman naturally although if she is not consenting she can still get pregnant and maintain a pregnancy. More laws are beginning to address the consequences of the latter non-consensual crime even if the woman miscarries or carries the child to term,keeps the infant or adopts out or gives the child away.

Birth control is needed to prevent the sperm in the semen from being viable or able to enter the cervix (02.6Ce) which at the end of the vagina and feels like the tip of a nose It is the bottom of the uterus.

An egg is released monthly generally from one ovary during ovulation. If a sperm fertilizes the mature egg while it is travelling down the Fallopian Tube or in the uterus the egg will not allow any other sperm in. Then the egg and sperm form a blastocyst and then a zygote. Some debate whether this is considered the beginning of a pregnancy. Some believe or argue that since nothing more is added then this combination includes all that is needed to create human life.

Some theories suggest an energy or spark of life and perhaps a spirit enters the zygote at this point of creation. When the egg is implanted in the wall of the uterine lining it becomes an embryo and this is deemed a pregnancy. Julie Renee shared the idea that after 7 days of conception, a master stem cell is made that resonates with that of the parents who also have a master stem cell.

She coined a term 'neurogenesis' that relates to the ability of stem cells to become many different kinds of body parts, indeed all that is needed for a human person.

She has shared that energetically each of us can 'reset our master stem cell' through gentle, consistent practices of breathing and other exercises she has shared. Some people report having healings or shifts in serious health conditions after trying her suggestions.

She does not guarantee results but shares her views widely. Stem cell research has produced a clone of a sheep names Dolly back in the 1990s after about 500 tries someone reviewed with me.

These are ideas worth factoring into the earlier decades of one's life if thinking of having a child, donating an egg or sperm and so on.

Other theories are that the spirit of a human enters a fetus along the way of development or at the time of its birth with the first breath or within a few months of being born (even up to a year).

While theories abound, the current laws use primarily scientific and medical models that allow for abortion in the first three months of pregnancy, and later on with medical need (including psychological stress of the mother) up to later months.

Now that more theories abound about the possibility of humans having 'many lifetimes' and a kind of karmic balancing of actions and choices, it may make sense to have more counsels thinking various situations through and encouraging networks (such as Nurturing Network which helped mothers who wanted to have children have support to do so rather than abort or have to adopt out.

Open adoption is more common now since many find it better for the children and helpful to the adoptive parents and likely the biological parents as well. Surrogacy, frozen embryos and in vitro are all growing fields of  parenting and merit consideration not only from various fields but more collaborative reflection along with practical options and support groups whichever choices are made.

The same kind of ongoing discussion about birth control, relationship dynamics and abortion laws and practices also need to be clearly communicated and considered from many stand points. Ideally with more prevention of pregnancy, fewer abortions would be  chosen or done later on when risks to the mother run higher.

More affordable and free child care may help more women achieve aspirations for a school, work, life, parenting balance. With higher education often comes a woman's choice to plan her pregnancies in ways she and her supports can manage.

About 15K women choose to have children as single mothers with a sperm donor assist for their pregnancy.

Other posts reflect on lifelong agreements (marriages, partnerships, ideals and realities,divorces, custody and amicable as well as unfortunately harmful if not lethal outcomes of pairing up with someone in a parenting or mating role.

Religious and cultural values shy away from the reality while espousing values and norms that many may not findi applicable, reachable or desirable given the chance nature of some people having mental stress or illness, prescription or illegal drug use, a host of other economic,social or family pressures, work,housing or other challenges and a largely convoluted and distorted set of systems to help someone in need longterm through transitions or parenting young children.

More non-profits or even private ventures are needed to educate and address these many facets of reality that people face and live through hopefully everyday. Thrive NYC is pouring over $800 million dollars into helping people on the brink of some of these issues (primarily drug and mental health issues) over the next few years through 2019.

 Regarding birth control, many options should be explored and used with approval by one's gynecologist (doctor for women's  sexual health or concerns) or obstetrician (for pregnancy and delivering a baby.)

The  'emergency or morning after' Plan B pill is not to be used casually. the Plan B can be taken after unprotected sex to prevent a pregnancy (but the information says it does not say it will end a pregnancy if one has started.

Taking it earlier rather than later is recommended and is available in many states. Sometimes having money and a clear plan can help couples or a woman seeking this potential option to be prepared. Speaking realistically with one's doctor and friends about 'a normal amount of sex and a general idea of safety and consent to being involved with someone, even one's spouse' is another area that likely would prove helpful for both parties to discuss or consider in writing or with an anonymous hotline.

More is not necessarily better. Hard and fast maneuvers may be in the movies but in reality, most couples, especially for a woman prefer to 'take it slow' and feel connected to one's partner before, during and after being intimate. A little study on the subject likely would go a long way toward bridging gaps of conflict and confusion.  Again,not easy topics to cover yet most youth are learning the basics of the physical logistics.

The emotional, relational and practical aspects also need consideration. Likely a few times a month should suffice for most people. For younger folks, more often may seem right some months, but a routine of often and 'because one says so' is not a fair or likely a healthy standard.

The Chinese medicine and other theories generally advise moderation in all areas from eating and drinking  alcohol (if any but also likely not recommended).  With 7000 followers today the teachings of Sri Chin Moy and many other spiritual leaders promote no or little sexual involvement  unless already married. Other theories promote little or no sex as necessary for fulfillment especially after age forty for a woman and sixty for a man.

Not that it's 'impossible or terrible' but more like 'it's not so necessary'. The biological reproduction is likely mostly complete (and pregnancy for a woman over age 40 can have a 7x higher mortality rate, so that may be important to consider.

 Women's estrogen naturally declines and for other reasons sex drives and involvement may not seem to be as urgent or desired for a woman.

Men's testosterone also decreases in mid-life. While there are 'remedies' maybe not a lot is 'wrong' and allowing more of an acceptance of that kind of shift may make sense for many men and couples.

Not that our culture in America lets us think along these lines with constant music and media crooning love songs and such but maybe tuning out is a simple way to start tuning into the idea that even in the realm of sex, 'less is more' may have its applications for balance, even if for a spell in one's life of a week, month, year or more depending on how one's life is unfolding. 

Some women do have children well into their 40s and 50s and even their 60s. As long as people are thinking about a balanced life and not looking to do what they've always done for fear of not having a full life, things should go pretty well. These are ideas to allow more people to feel in sync with their own nature and personal life style. Finding a soul mate may not be as urgent as getting in touch with one's own energies.

Then in time, there may be a more fruitful friendship or relationship with someone who aligns with your values, goals and lifestyle. Often friends fill many roles for each other whether one is part of a couple or not. Making an intention to find social arenas one is comfortable with may be a good way to work one's way up to having more steady friendships or dating or serious partner coupling.

Birth control shots or pills, or patches, condoms and barrier methods are most common forms of  reliable birth control. A more unreliable form used by some is the withdrawal of the penis (6C-010Pe) from the vaginal canal, opening or vulva area (6C-04VC or 6C-05VO or 06-Vu). Ideally people who could get pregnant and are not ready for that would not be alone, at each other's homes or other places they may end up spending the night together even if not 'planning to get involved'.

Too often if the boundaries are not clear, a woman is particularly at risk for having to 'give in' or go along with being intimate for a variety of reasons even if there is a better understanding that nonconsensual sex is a crime. Reporting and dealing with various social and even practical stigma and consequences can be complicated and difficult to negotiate. Unfortunately, many people have 'many sides to them' and the not-so-good and bad are mixed right in with the nice parts.

.A person, particularly a female cannot insisit or coax a man to change. Same goes for the man dealing with a mixed bag of tricks from a female. So far, only a man can impregnate a woman however, and this significant difference spells much of the dilemma in the realm of crime and unwanted pregnancies.

Females need more assurance and support to have basic plans for living safely and sanely without surprises and pressure even to be physically intimate if that is not what is in alignment with their values, personality, free choice or other factors.

Doing the math of what she really can expect or how to transition even temporarily (even for  a day or weekend of camping or other affordable, reasonable break from a relationship, often the longer the better if it's foggy or convoluted on any level.

The realms of concern may involve emotional or social inconsistencies, economic lack of support or clarity about agreements that are fair and reasonable, dietary or exercise habits or pressures, caregiving for the other person, their family or friends, sorting out the workable options in a timely fashion even if agreeing to a modification in a relationship whether living in one house or apart.

Lots of factors about real life play out in a bedroom or intimate relationship. With the idea of open relationships (being physically or even socially closely involved with more than one person), ideally all parties could have a clear idea of the terms.

If not, feelings and actions can play out in a conflicted harmful and even criminal manner. Discontent, hurt or anger can be a common mix even among families or friends who do not get along, have substance or other issues factoring heavily into their lives.

While this numbering systems for one's body and to use as a tool for improving one's awareness of laws that pertain to each body part (that will be another post but is an idea I have had for a while to help people to realize the boundaries and actions or even words and gestures that can get them arrested or otherwise in trouble.

Since we know it's hard to think under pressure (that frontal cortex is not working as well when the amygdala gets fired up which rules fight or flight instincts for instance.) we need to practice ways to get our bodies trained to act as we would plan for them to as in Run from Danger (generally a good idea) or to Drop to the Ground and Not Move (even to pull up one's pants which got one man killed since the responding policeman shot him dead thinking he was reaching for a gun.)

Likely a curriculum could be developed to act out such scenes. Things like just standing looking at oneself in the mirror and turning to walk away, and check out oneself from the backside could make sense.

Take time to recognize the body you are operating and tell yourself often that you can always walk away from anyone or anything that is bothering you (that you feel is not fair, right, nice, workable, nornal, decent, etc). You can go to a different room hopefully (or cover your ears and say "I do not want to listen now. Please stop talking right now. Not another word please, not even 'okay'".)

For important reality checks about domestic or relationship abuse, see www.lundybancroft.com and www.barrygoldstein.net if children are involved (well before a possible separation or custody or divorce action if at all possible. Every PTO and School should announce those sites to moms and dads as may be the case.

Having a Time-Out signal like a referee as the cue for any to use if they need quiet or a break can be helpful too.

Please realize no one should go too close to anyone, insist the other person listen (good to write a note if urgent and leave for them to read.)

No guarantee there's any way to communicate with someone or even through a third party if there are protective orders (or the more serious restraining orders) in place.

But the overall point is each person is the driver of their own car, their own relationship and their own life nowadays. Each person deserves respect far above over things or even living arrangements or being in someone's car etc.

The idea of one person setting rules hard and fast that are non-negotiable is practically  against the law. People may break a law or endanger themselves and have to face the consequences.

That is largely the part of many 12-step programs. However when others are put in danger that is now being recognized as a form of violating or abusing others and that is against the law now in most places. Again, states vary and practical considerations come into play, but over all the Tide is Turning.

All is not lost however because more support to help people get 'back on track ' seems to be growing on many levels from 12-step supports and non-profits and laws providing ways for people to live balanced lives.

Often many people need an advocate and mentor to help get a few supports in place and keep paperwork up to date for programs or funds someone qualifies for. Thanks for helping others when you can once you've gotten your own feet on the ground so to speak. For most it's an ongoing process and of course, all of life is a gift. The central placement and meaning of the word "IF" in both life and gift can inspire US-All to keep going and keep growing.