Half of Female Fatalities due to Violence or Murder in the World Are Done by People who are "Family or Intimate Partners"

With International Women's Day on March 8th annually, let's all take the first part of that day, and every day, to face this sobering fact...that Women and Children are at Grave Risk of Harm from Those they live with due to their gender and weaker position of physical stature (particularly children or if we can come up with a more empowering terms, those who have arrived on the planet with biological or other support from the people they live with or are adopted by or otherwise end up living with or interacting with.

Special People, rather than children, infants, kids or any other term that minimizes their full, equal and likely more evolved DNA and spiritual and emotional aspects as well, needs to be implemented across the board. I think the reality of their elevated abilities and being, no matter that wrapping of skin, gender, physical or mental ability, needs to be discussed openly. The Rights of Women and Children need to be at the forefront of every discussion around a dinner table or walk down the street with a friend on the phone or even a stranger one passes by.

The consideration can be lit in one's heart, like a candle aglow. Men and others need to consider the uneven playing field and seek to remedy their every word and gesture to 'play fair' not only for the benefit of others in their life (iincluding any 'subordinate males') but for themselves to evolve. Injury and murder do not happen in a vacuum...something is very off in our world when this kind of harm is happening and No One is Talking About It in a meaningful way. Who reads erudite studies that finally spill the beans?

Thankfully a skilled advocate introduced this expensive publication to me about five years ago at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference in Albany NY. She gave me a few samples since she had written an article . Thanks, dear friend, now I'm telling the the world best as I can...I don't have the funds for the whole publication but hope Vassar College or another place of higher learning or state library would obtain such a publication. That can be a group project... Meanwhile I have heard people can now text 911 if they can't dial or speak, so that's a plus. Making sure people have a game plan for how to get to safety and an exit plan for longterm security is the kicker. Women are basically trapped economically and culturally around the world.

Even in more advanced countries, the path to independence is far from clear and not paved with support groups for every woman along the way. Same thing would be helpful for men so they don't feel 'it's all on them' or that they are 'operating in their own kingdom above the law of the land or their faith group.' Sadly I have heard of people being abused 'by the best members of their community, faith group and family..' And it ain't pretty.

Thankfully there are many victims who find a way out, whether finding someone who believes them and can offer an immediate rescue or other strategic way to extricate oneself from one or more 'tangled situations.' The idea of 'always forgiving and making amends' which is promoted by most faith groups and many new age thinkers is challenging and likely needs a 'do-over.'

The internal sense of making peace could be maintained but the clear boundaries for any interaction whether by email, phone, in public with supervision or in any more private setting (a family or social event of a smaller nature) also with supervison and clear safety plans is important for every country and state to promote. While people may feel that is 'prying' that is really trying to prevent harm and keep all people safe from needing an intervention of a more formal or serious nature, legal or longterm.

Clearly the nature of social and family interactions needs more discussion and understanding by entire communities, states and countries, particularly for various cultures or school systems. Any public or private institution can have its own set of additional rules and regulations such as HIPPA at doctor offices to keep medical information private, even whether a person is in the hospital or at a nursing home for instance.

Prior authorization for who can know or interact with whom is becoming more the norm from daycares to schools, doctors and hospitals. Ideally much more education would be done through medical appointments and even dental visits, to assure women they could use the phone in private to call for help or find support services or have other contact information for help made available.

Knowing that 'sometimes it's too challenging to tell someone when one is having a problem', a list could be made of the kinds of needs and concerns or problems a person is having on a checklist. That could jog someone's memory and take one step out of having to think of how to say things, often of a difficult nature.

That may include having threats made to have one's children taken from one legally in a custody action, being threatened with divorce with vague terms and a contentious approach, that can be done dozens of times or more over the course of months or years as can any kind of controlling or intimidating action or gesture. The things that are 'hard to describe' could be validated such as glaring looks, not being spoken to (stonewalling) for hours, days or weeks, months or years about certain topics or even overall.

The kind of coldness and neglect of basic give and take in a family or close social relationship could be explored. Things like having eye contact and a moment of face to face interaction or a sense of respect could be described as a normal or neutral standard so more people could consider 'what they may have been missing or settling for' that is possibly as sign of abuse or someone's mental decline or affect or sign of substance abuse or injury. Having regular medical check-ups including dental appointments can be the only 'time off' a victim gets from being closely monitored or responsible for caring for children or elders or others.

Years can go by without a break for primary caregivers and no one is checking to see if there is a way to encourage someone to have 2-4 hours a day or  a week to go off and do something by oneself (even shopping but eventually something that could be deemed recreational or social with others.)

Living in isolation or in isolation with kids can be a standard way of passing one's days for weeks and months if not years (if having more children) which can tap one's energies physically, mentally and socially. Without a phone or radio, one can be all the more left in one's own world, as can the children. So more free support such as is offered to people with SNAP (food stamps) in America or low-income people to have a cell phone with minutes paid for is a huge step forward. Who to call and how to get help for other needs should be clearly spelled out in posters since some people run out of minutes (or are left on hold to re-certify food stamps etc.)

Every library could have a few landline phone numbers at their location as well as laptops to help people with those kinds of services to get basic medical, food and other housing or supports in place. When people are moving or changing jobs or schools, or applying to college or other programs, extra help is often needed to get paperwork or forms online completed and submitted in a timely manner. FAFSA for instance should be completed in January through mid-March to have the best chance at receiving available funds.

When some funds  such as for FAFSA 'run out' then many are left empty-handed. No matter how much a high school (or college) student says they can do a college application on their own, it is ideal for them to welcome support from their parents and other adults to review all the deadlines from the beginning of the process. That would include scholarship or other special deadlines and getting recommendations from teachers, transcripts and verifications of tax returns and bank statements or whatever other forms may be required can take a few weeks so plans should be made accordingly.

Every town and school in each state for instance, could have a group of volunteers or a hired hand to help 'direct traffic' for students early on and their families or support people.Having more information about the process a few years in advance is not too early, so there are many job opportunities that could be funded by private or other direct pay options.

Those same kinds of 'situational awareness and assessments to improve options' for all families whether young couples or older ones, people who are expecting a child, their first or an additional one, adopting or doing foster care or helping others with childcare, could all work together to have or hire support people to help coordinate resources and offer support through identifying other people and places to round out offerings for local folks and even have an online presence.

When people grow up resources to meet their own needs, that can fill a greater need in the community and be supported by others whether privately or more publicly with formal programs and funding and shared personnel. In CT for instance there is more talk about school districts with fewer than 2000 students sharing a Superintendent. That kind of demographic could be used to promote 'parenting and caregiving resources' for people at all ages and stages of life with a new job role created by individuals or encouraging existing agencies to network and fill gaps in coverage. Domestic abuse and sexual assault agencies are not one and the same. Some are located a half hour or more apart. In CT there are 17 agencies for 170 towns..that's not a lot by any stretch.

There could be dozens of spin-off groups and really a lot of independent efforts since the needs are many and the funds and workers are few. More faith groups, libraries, social services, public and private schools could all take steps to 'get educated about this critical set of dynamics' that play out in people's lives and have huge impacts on society...often 'just under the radar' but again plenty of times impacting the social climate in any community, whether a school, work place, non-profit outreach such as libraries, faith groups, cultural arts or other aspect of an area. When laws are broken, the consequences can turn serious on a dime. Same with legal actions started such as divorce or custody actions.

The impact can affect the people involved and their communities for years or longer, often with no designated place to review or refine terms or see if the plans are being followed or need revision without going back to court. Basically everyone does whatever they want once the ink is dry, and there is no third party monitoring the implementation of any custody plan. Domestic Violence (control, threats, harm) often Continue after a voluntary or involuntary, informal or legal Separation, Divorce or Custody Action, even escalating or resulting in injury to children, adult victims (generally women or mothers) or others (perhaps other family members or friends of the victims whether intentionally or as collateral damage.)

These are the things that make the headlines or create police interventions if they are of a serious physical or sexual violation...but hardly a mention in any newspaper or talk show if 'there are no visible scars' or lack of reporting. Ireland has made emotional and psychological abuse against the law. New Zealand is giving women time off from work to get to safety support. Some strides are being made but it's one. small. step. at. a. time.

Yikes, we will need to up this effort, and on the heels of the #MeToo,#WeToo, and Women's Marches and more women in office, we are making progress. Wanting to consider things with new terms and a more proactive way of living with support for clarity in communication about these kinds of issues and much more could be on everyone's agenda...so here's the disturbing latest update on the serious situation every woman and child (Special Person) needs to have a better awareness of...and hopefully find ways to have support for any concern in their own life to see the world with new eyes and new hope this International Woman's Day and for many thereafter!

  From Domestic Violence Report  Abstract of an Article on Domestic Violence World Wide Female Fatalities from Violence and Murder: " A United Nations report has found that the number of female deaths from intimate partner violence or family-related homicide is on the rise. The study, “Global Study on Homicide,” was released by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, and focused on gender-related homicides across the world. We analyze the findings of this new report, which found that more than half of all women murdered worldwide last year were killed by intimate partners or family members"