Gifts and Blessings..Even from Bruises and Hard-won Lessons
The 'storming of the Capitol', the Insurrection, the Confusion and Abadonment of Protectors in a dire situation and many people's greatest hour of need...What can we learn from all of this as people in the year of 2021 in America, the digital age and the modern world?
Does it seem familiar in terms of a crimes of attack, home invasions, kidnappings 'in broad daylight' or in ways no one saw coming (aside from the FBI apparently who did give warnings but the Powers That Be did not heed...Maybe That is a big puzzle piece to pay attention and start with.)
Sadly much of what transpired seemed 'more of the same' along the lines of Trump and others asserting their rights over others, and really dismissing the rights of others as they deemed reasonable or helpful to their cause.
The systems Trump and others colluding with him, which includes the entire Republican Party even if there are aspects of what they are saying is valid to consider...had loopholes and paths that paved for the dismantling of the democracy on many levels over time.
The clarification of the Black Lives Matter groups and efforts are educating Americans, most who were not in the know, that things have never been fair for Black People (and on many levels not for anyone aside from Whilte Male Property Owners) for centuries.
One hundred years ago women got the right to vote, but things did not change overnight. The fighters of one generations give birth to others but for people to be organized and steadfast in their efforts and gain meaningful time takes all kinds of ongoing inputs and developments.
When women are tasked with leading the charge that may mean taking off their aprons, pacing their personal lives in terms of supporting their husbands and bearing and rearing children as their priority. Whether in a same sex couple or other configuration of collaboration or caring for others, the human personal needs often preside over the causes one would want to pursue.
With the dawning of the internet and more people realizing how widespread concerns and desires for decency are, it would seem clear there would be efforts to build community and care circles from the ground up and fight for justice at every corner and in every court room. Enter the idea that addiction, mental illness, domestic abuse, neglect of children and pets, elders and others dependent on 'nice normal adults and even teens and older children to show up and pitch in' has not found solid ground or a way to become reality.
There may be ideals and programs but they only serve so many folks and often the funds run out to see things through. With specific websites and videos far more info can be conveyed, but people need access to the internet and direction about what to learn in a timely matter to decrease the destruction coming their way.
That may mean learning about Divorce Before Marriage, about living apart independently and with accountability for stability emotionally, mentally, socially,financially and otherwise before living together and likely blaming the other person for deficits and personality issues.
Same goes for caring for children before having one's own, as in be involved for a couple of years on a weekly or ideally daily basis with keeping up with learning and actually interacting with infants, young children and older ones to tune into the ways to talk and relate to children (and pets even.) Practice may not make perfect but could cut down on many challenges people run into predictably.
Even watching certain movies could serve as a primer or television shows such as The Waltons, The Brady Bunch, Modern Family and a bit of Dr.Phil and Oprah. Shows like Indecent Proposal can help one consider the choice everyone has every day about their relationship whether romantic, platonic, a friendship or family connection or work or other social tie.
Everyone may have mixed feelings and thoughts now and then, but getting curious about what one is feeling and believing about the world and relationships can guide one to consider life in more creative compassionate ways. Some say 'we're making it all up as we go along' and whether we can entertain that possiblity or not may be key to relieving mental and emotional tension.
Thinking of everyone as a child living on the planet, an older version of who each was at age five shaped by their family and social network can take another level of tension off the sense of seriousness and seeing things in one particular way.
Then thinking of ways to help one another rather than hurt or allow for harm or isolation and abandonment to prevail (in our hearts and minds which is where things register so even if allowing or requiring not seeing or interacting with others, one can imagine conversations or hold others in a light of flow and kindness trusting they may be going through a difficult period of their existence, possibly from past influences they are not aware or or due to chemical hormonal or other internal factors.)
Miranda McPherson and Jenn McLean have helpful resources to encourage each person to be their own counselor and friend to inquire what 'lies beneath' certain feelings and thought patterns. There are other programs and talks from Peace And Harmony Co. com which explore on podcasts and offer products to shift energies even with silent audio programs and devices.
That can help energies shift. Then there is the traditional path of praying for a moment when waking up (or a bit more as DrSha.com suggests) and faiths the world over that encourage a prayer partner or at least journaling (and hiding that or tossing it if it's not safe to keep it around...but helpful to allow one's ideas to flow much like I do here on Livfully.org.)
One can do artwork and be even more honest when It's Just You and Your Thoughts and Feelings Flowing Out on Paper or talking with a trusted friend or really even oneself on a tape or zoom or outloud as though leaving a message for a counselor or friend. We don't give ourselves and others permission to 'take care of business' along those fluffy or fuzzy lines..but the feelings are basic and universal with a range of thoughts and feelings but not necessarily expression in real life.
If intending to take action or having repetitive thoughts that seem to be running the show one can get more help from someone much as if having a toothache and needing to get to a dentist to fill a cavity. The cavity in terms of unrest and tension, seeds of self-harm or violence are generally linked to pain from the past or present imbalances which may be difficult or dangerous so are early warning signs 'something is not right' in terms of safety, health,care or connection with others.
Be careful not to take all the blame if someone is insisting 'it's you and you alone' that are making them angry or mean, lazy or difficult. There is a lot of psychological warfare going on among 'perfectly nice people' and likely that is due to generational imprinting of looking at people who are younger, healthier, nicer and smarter as the enemy in terms of not being fooled as easily into believing in the status quo or even respecting others because they always deserve that. Sometimes a lack of care is as criminal and deadly as an intended crime.
If people who have 'done well in life' don't care about others who are being mistreated or hurt in their communities, states, countries and within reason the world, those who have not done so well or may not have the skills and means to even let people know what the problems are may take action 'best as they can' or with efforts to join together or possibly speak out in forums that seem 'out of place'. That's the point...there is no place that is set up for a Complaint And Concern Dept in every group to serve 10 to 100 people and on up the line.
That alone could ease many tensions if people can bridge gaps and have more responsiveness and accountabilty, I will sketch out some of the larger gaps shortly, but anyone in the gap can usually relate. Basic human needs that America and other developed countries could address in specific practical ways and with a lot of online guidance and support include learning what the ADLs, Activities of Daily Living are to help everyone become more competent in doing those and helping others maintain or achieve those in life and to stay out of a nursing home if there are community supports and even family and friends filling in and anticipating such needs.
If one needs help with two or more of those, is elderly for instance with declining mobility and can't get food prepared etc or needs help with emptying a commode or has other personal care needs such as taking recommened medications or maintaining sodium levels or monitoring diabetes and so on, there is a risk of not being able to live alone. If one falls they may be taken to a hospital or nursing home (such as in Delaware I believe) and need to prove they have adequate care at home to return there longterm.
Needing help with two or more ADLs may qualify one to go into a nursing home yet the financial responsibility is on the person if they are over medicaid income and asset limits. So learning that end of the equation would be important for more youth in high school to understand to plan with their parents and grandparents who to maneuver those matters.
Some states and communities have supportive people to assist with determining these things for free or at low cost, but a person or their legal POA, Power of Attorney who has permission to act on their behalf, needs to cooperate voluntarily.
The criteria for determining who is mentally competent when in need of services to cooperate rationally and remember what they are agreeing to is not clear! This is likely the only warning one will hear in modern times (but of course, that could change and have other consequences for more people to prove competency.
Once charts and terms are set up there's been reporst in the New Yorker where elders and others can be forced out of their home into a care facility even when a family member or other person was monitoring them closely. These are serious concerns that are only going to loom much larger as the huge silver tsumami of people over 65 grows during the 2020s. They did not have enough children to take care of them and many do not live closeby or know their responsibility or have the ability to do much for them due to work or other needs or interests.
Each community could try to survey their seniors and set up educational networks and support programs. All of that requires a lot of training and criteria. Likely faith groups could make headway much more easily but again protect privacy and prevent abuse of all kinds. A new kind of insurance would be helpful to plan for needed funds during a time of transition for a few months for people to have homecare and other support duing an illness or the passing of a loved one. Going from a two person home to a single person should not be a crime, yet many are devastated financially if plans are not in place and if assets are not listed appropriately to have a home or funds pass from one to the other as may be legal. Looking into matters with an Elder Law Attorney and learning to ask questions and understand options even in neighboring or other states may open up creative solutions to extend funds and access helpful programs to remain independent longer even with help in one's home.
See what NY offers in their CDPAP program for instance or what Florida provides for seniors. Keep in mind however that land is sinking along coastlines and that ocean levls are also rising. What protections for home investments are there in such areas? In a way that is a metaphor for all people aging or declining in health and needing more support.
The timing of shifting assets may be important to preserving them like not losing the land to sinking or flooding (with greater care needs taking one's assets readly.) See what CTSeniorLaw.com shares on their site in short videos and helpful blog posts to become more familiar over time with the legal terms and options. Many places provide a consult and can apply the fee toward work done, but check in advance. Some others give talks or offer some free information. Check in advance and stay in touch. End of Life Doulas do non medical and non legal support but can be emotionally supportive to a family facing an array of factors..
We could all use a few practical 'back up plans' if one's back or legs or other body parts break down or are injured even for a day. We need to be able to eat, get dressed, transfer and use a toilet or have a reasonable plan for addressing peeing and pooing hygienically even if using pads and briefs, for women I'll add tending to one's menstrual cycle with adequate supplies and even support if having pain or severe symptoms (some women may get nauseous or bleed heavily and that can cause anemia.
That may also be a sign of fibroids and more people need to know to check with their doctor or clinic if bleeding heavily in an hour, feeling very weak or otherwise off whether with a period or other condition. Women may have an ectopic pregnancy which is occuring in the Fallopian tubes rather than in the uterus.
Basically sex ed would be huge to cover readily to get clear on not only biology but the risk and management of condoms, spermicide, diaphragm, IUD or birth control pills, patches and other forms of birth control including abstinence and ways to still be close but protected with clothing on private parts to avoid unintended pregnancy, protection for any kind of interaction...and of course the legal, social and safety concerns, clarity and consent each and every time whether in a committed relationship or not.
That would all indicate a need for maturity and some level of safety and supervision (not being out in the middle of nowhere with someone or going to places with anyone of the opposite sex in general if it's not necessary but rather having a basic plan to stay in safer groupings and in public places with appropriate other adults around to monitor social interactions and coach each person about how things are going...)
A group like Toastmasters which is open to many people may be a helpful place to see how someone shows up in a safe, modern setting. Similarly going to a faith service or other public events such as theaters or restaurants can indicate a basic level of social competency and awareness as well as accountability. Someone being willing to share in paying for things and investing in a friendly cause as well as in one another (within reason and possibly with short term small loans to see if those can be managed) are all fair game.
Yes some people may have strict rules they are living by that don't include allowing discussion or interaction with certain parts of their life even if they are wanting to be in a closer friendship or relationship with someone. Even among family members 'money and loans, helping one another in any way' may be difficult to even speak about. Yet some parents may be planning to give their children a hefty inheritance 'when the time comes, not a moment before.'
Even if the adult or other younger children seem worthy of managing funds and have valid needs and possibly children they are caring for, the notion that the older parents would extend help to them when that was not done for them (or even if it was done...fear of not having enough or wanting to save for a rainy day or as much as possible for retirement or not have things out of their name even if that would mean having funds go to state programs such as a nursing home for their care...is too much to think about or something they don't want to face or merely something they don't prioritize of haven't thought of.)
There can be many other twists and turns regarding finances for one or more people whether involved or legally liable or otherwise. Again some of this changes over the decades and generations, such as child support. If more children were counted in the mix of community members worthy of support, very little would really likely need to change.
Funds for schooling could be allowed to cover more meals and basic clothing allowance for sneakers, pants, shirts, socks and undergarments, and clothing for colder weather such as warm coats, hats and mittens. Even if that were a thousand per child per year that would boost the confidence and afford more parents peace of mind and a sense of connection with the community. There could be clothing drives in each school (or shared among a few) to keep the latest fashions going on a cheaper budget.
Plenty of places were doing that for winter coat and even prom dress and suit drives. It takes a little planning but the more collaborative people become life can seem a musical of sorts with people changing roles and costumes to keep the story going with an upbeat pattern of people addressing issues early on and then looking for other people and planet friendly projects.
Okay so I'll park this post for now, but remind me to review where the courts are when it comes to divorce and custody and even how every state could have post custody support. I asked for 'all of the above' from a CT Representative about ten years ago or more..and she did not feel CT or any state would ever want to get involved with people's personal lives.
Yet CT did have a serious set of revisions to divorce and custody law and like many are trying to hold abusive fathers accountable...and yes moms too when they're crossing the line. With divorce, about half involve abuse..and half of those have kids, so that's the gist of what we know.
There are many parents who never marry or even live together but abuse can still happen. So the whole field of DV is one everyone needs to learn about and not whitewash and say NIMBY...just not in my back yard or home. It's in every community and the warning signs are not clear as is the case with a family that suffered a terrrible turn of events at the abusive father (whch many did not understand was the case) in 2019 in Sheffield MA. Let's please see what actions every community can take to get to know the children and be ready to help any woman or Mom seeking resources and support.
It's not a personal matter or an option for many to get out of easily and with the courts backing her in gaining sole custody with the father only having supervised visits when that is really appropriate as the right professionals determine. Please don't let another case come up with clear warning signs and no one pay attention as is often the case in the land of the free (to abuse, use, mistreat, neglect and blame victims.)
Somehow that game plan worked like a charm not only for the past many decades but most recently during Trump's so called Presidency when millions of women protested from the start and in many marches, to no avail. That's gotta change and AliStorm.com speaks to Project One info she was given that women hold the keys to healing humanity and the planet..with peaceful divine feminine energy.
So let's check that out asap and use what we've got as people, female and males too and everyone else...to connect as she suggests, understanding that males calso can connect to divine feminine energy of nurturing and healing on many levels... so I'd say we're definitely getting somewhere in hearing about healing so now we can pursue that with more assurance that good can win out over our shadow sides, that's the one and the many, on the peronal and political levels and be a pathway to progress and peace.
See what Eve Wilson shares on her blog too, spiritualhealers.org I think and in her book Riding the Wave of Change. I plan to review that more shortly. Best to all to keep exploring life with new eyes, ears, hearts and minds and sharing the stories and special finds!
