From Composting to Composing A Life With a Healing, Safety Plan for US All, One Village at a Time!

This response to a talk about composting coming up in Sharon CT on June 30th, 2018, got me thinking of some 'heads up' tips to be safe and practical first while composting and equally so when composing a sensible and team-oriented life plan with agreements and networking.

Composting is great..but it's important to consider who else might enjoy your organic cuisine...raccoons, foxes and maybe a bear? With the barrel maybe that's safe enough but an open pile may attract critters...oh yes, skunks and more so put it far enough from your home so you feel 'at home in your house and yard...'

Just a thought. In case you have ideas to have chickens, 'ditto on the critters who may come calling' including hawks and rodents who may like the feed. Meanwhile check out the ideas about how to design garden that fits in your life, yard or community (yes this could be a nice shared endeavor for a school, library, faith group or other recreation group) with permaculture ethics and principles.

See Turtle Garden Permaculture Game (and Circle of Friends) online..We are the experts on these 'back to basic' kinds of topics since we are in the rural environments and have had much more experience in nature, gardening, farming and other community fundraising and do-it-yourself kinds of projects than most in urban settings can dream of.

Ideas are catching on and more teamwork between city and country folks could be part of the 'stay in business and on the map' win-win strategy... from here to NYC and all the places in between, along river pathways, with common interest for youth, parents, adults, elders and many other ways to grow connections. Let's hope we can find ways to keep the air clean enough (along with the water and other basics) to benefit our health and environment...

PS Great Housatonic Valley Regional HS Graduation with a nice round of applause for Science and Agriculture Teacher Dave Moran highlighted by the illustrious and inspiring 'Miracle Philosophy' former teacher Larry Peck. All of the speakers braved sharing from their hearts and encouraging kindness and serious activism...fighting as though our rights need defending and our futures need our collective courage and creativity to be realized.

All the best to the 8th graders from all of the towns on their next big moves, and the echo of that with all those moving on to their next year of schooling (whether in the next grade, a second year of the same grade, homeschooling, travel or private school...wherever you go, trust you are part of a caring tribe.)

In terms of really agreeing to supervise minors to avoid danger of all kinds, trips and local wild and woolly actions (rivers, unsupervised risky deals... and avoiding early drinking and drugging to help prevent opiate use and addiction--and even serious injuries which may merit legitimate pain meds) we have work to do.

Seeing a group of kids 'go to the falls' even when they are not running fast but can still be slippery (that algae on the rocks can kick butt when wet) made me realize it's going to take a lot of adults waking up to the fact that they Are Responsible for where their kids and minors in their care wander off to and what they do. If people come to harm and rescuers are put at risk or others perish in the process of 'just letting people do whatever they dream up' the penalties and heartbreak can be severe.

That's why we need to Try to Up Our Game of Shared, Comprehensive Planning and Responsibility. There are town pools, decent lakes and private pools to swim in. Volleyball games, simple hiking and biking, pick up soccer or other sports (frisbee, tennis, juggling and so on) can all likely make the approved list.

The tricky stuff needs to be reviewed...yes, canoeing, and kayaking, any swimming in a river with currents and so on or swimming out far into lakes. Why push our luck? While most youth are healthy and have 'energy to spare' by the time one is the mid20s, fitness is more of a fading pastime for many..and with each decade, watching sports is about as active as most people choose to be after a full work week or other chores around a house or yard. Hopefully that could improve with more team spirit for each generation in a town...but all with good balance of health and life goals in order. Nutrition is a win-win with giving people good fuel for life and preventing obesity or harm to one's body (maybe curbing cravings for alcohol and unhealthy fats or sweets.)

Moderation and friendly outreaches to test one's A1C, an average fasting blood sugar which ideally should be Below 5.7 (see more info online such as on One Drop or check Ayurvedic info on such conditions.) Then there's monitoring one's Blood Pressure and again having a few buddies to help learn that skill and log numbers regularly for two weeks and again monthly can be learned from online resources and shared with one's medical professionals.

Getting pro-active can take a few years, so don't feel discouraged. Maybe it will take a Few Decades..but again, that's the norm for Americans, many of whom believe someone is watching out for them. That's what I've tried to convey on my blog, www.livfully.org for about 5 years. That has cost me a few hundred dollars and another person about 20 hours of time switching the posts over one at a time..but You're Worth It! I am interested in networking with others along these lines and have many more ideas I've heard or considered on the blog.

Others can 'take the ball of knowledge and run with it..' and not need to do all the research or dreaming or otherwise communicating with others that I've done. I've reached about 80K and about 40K on the post Remembering Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton. This is the week that he passed 9 years ago, on June 16th, 2009 and being found 7 miles June 23, 2009 (yes the day Michael Jackson died which Kaelan in spirit had told a psychic would be happening soon.)  Kaelan's body had been trapped in a hydraulic current at the base of the Falls for days yet travelled down to 
West Cornwall a week later. 

Our beloved son  and friend to many, Kaelan had tried to save a friend at the Falls.He loved all these small towns as do both of our families. The lessons of that day are explored in part in his memorial service that is on youtube. He is considered still a friend to many, and page in his HVRHS yearbook of his class that he was part of only as a freshman, was dedicated to him with a moving tribute and a very large photo of his caring face and big smile. Many feel Kaelan is still cheering them on or that his story enriches their lives.

One close friend shared that she thinks of him and says hello to him 'every time she sees the Iron Bridge." Others have shared on his memorial facebook page and in posts during the time of his passing. That's how I heard about facebook...and for all the years I had dreamed of communicating with wider groups of people I never would have thought it would come on the heels of being in the news as Kealan's Mother.

What a miserable way to have to say hello to the world I thought was going to be so great to celebrate the good things in life with, safe in our cozy CT corner. Many thought the anger and pain would win out...and to be honest, they showed up in waves when I thought I'd really had more misery than most would put in a nightmare movie.

But I had been taking a lot of programs and listening to ways people had coped with 'the worst life dishes out' (yes, that would often be from realms that one does not seem to have much say in or free guidance about how to Begin to make sense of major challenges not of one's own making or choosing...)

Strange theories I heard included that maybe we have lived many life times and had 'ordered up certain people and life experiences' to give us a meaningful life, to balance out past karmic ties, to have things done to me and mine to build my deeper understanding of the meaning of the gift of life or choices...and Much More.

Maybe there were spiritual helpers as well as 'earth angels' and maybe there was a lot of meaning in suffering and a way to be more compassionate through learning of others who had gone through major difficulties or coped with things that seemed beyond possible to 'accept, allow, face or figure out.' Inner peace, forgiveness, healing, creative visions and dreams became some of the medicine for the soul.

Healing prayer and teams, gathering in churches and sweat lodges, hikes and yoga or faith places all would ease the burden, but sometimes add to the pile of hurt. Help from NAMI and 12-step programs would be places to turn and learn some basics from, yet often with some 'blank spaces like Swiss Cheese as a friend once described someone not knowing about emotions or having blanks in one's life." Many serious well-attended groups seemed clueless about male violence against women and yes, female aggression as well.

But the overall 'now here this so we are all on the same page and not walking into the lion's den with ignorance Was and IS still prevalent in Most faith groups, schools. towns, 12-step programs, families and you-name-it..sports teams, work places and plenty of social groups, military and medical circles. 

So who knew about the growing body of laws, the concerns for domestic abuse and control tactics whether at home, school, a work place or social group, maybe even in faith groups or other healing circles? Basically that was not a topic to address lightly, even if covered on the front page of the CT Lakeville Journal (around December 2005 for instance...)

I realized most people were living in the Dark and were Very Leary of the Light of wisdom, justice, knowledge and having a clear effective strategy for keeping Children 'Safe and Together' with their Mothers. That is not about children in border disputes or foster care of DCF or CPS (Child Protective Services).

That's about Kids being Safe in their Homes from abusive or controlling fathers...and when Custody Courts (or even some of the CPS etc) get involved, the Kids are Given to their Dads and Not allowed to see their Moms (in about 70% of the 5% of cases that are that contentious. When kids are in serious danger or being molested, that is a even more heartbreaking but sadly common

. I learned about those trends across America After our son Kaelan passed on his last day of his freshman year of high school at age 16. There's more info about that turn of events but unfortunately a key part of the 'back story' is that I had little contact with him for a few years before he died due to factors beyond my control.

Similarly that trend continued with my other three children for a few years after that...again beyond my control and in spite of my 'juggernaut' efforts in courts and programs to seek resolution to a difficult reality that no one monitors or advocates for Children to not have to face. That is a huge message to all parents who may be in a conflicted relationship or facing factors that make it difficult for one or both parents to communicate or interact with their children (of any age but especially minors.)

No one is watching out for Your Children and not for you either in terms of educating everyone about important laws, developmental and other effects and the idea to have a team of support and clear network to protect the safety and well-being of women and children..and yes, men too if they truly are not being intimidating, controlling or unfair with finances or other basic support and social factors.

Women should be willing to have help with parenting if there are concerns, and of course, children deserve a team of informal supports to work alongside any professionals who have had the proper current training to understand the nature of power imbalances (think 'bullying', threatening or otherwise harming others whether due to mental illness, midlife crisis, gender roles or life stress, drug use or other challenges.)

Ideally no parent or adult would subject minors or even elders or other adults to cigarette or other smoke or drugs such as in a car (especially not with windows rolled up) or other settings where the clear impression is made that kids witness such activities (or try them early in life.)

That's just an added thought...so lots to think about and consider as to the Choices and Voices we have and can use with a little more teamwork to Voluntarily Suggest community and state guidelines, help parents and others find ways to care for their children and keep everyone more on track with 'what's legal and fair' and what's Not before someone breaks the law, separates kids from safe protective mothers, or otherwise causes a rift in the care and safety of children or teens.

Young adults could use a lot more support as well since times are getting tougher financially, college more expensive and competitive (with many at the tops schools coming from private schools and from wealthy families, not simply on merit.)

More people could think of ways to sponsor young children with learning opportunities and even healthy food to eat to help them grow well. Pregnant mothers could particularly be nurtured with many free or low cost programs.

Ideally faith groups, many of whom are the beneficiaries of wealthy people and have wonderful tax breaks and freedom to help people could devote serious attention to these foundational matters.

Even reviewing the social and legal implications of marriage and divorce and custody, putting options on a time line for people to have a basic game plan perhaps to wait until 25 to have a child so they have time to save some funds, understand living expenses and even practice doing some childcare (for free or pay) and ideally knowing someone for 2-5 years before making a commitment or having kids could be practical guidelines.

Pacing kids three years apart is a common framework around the world to allow the mother to recover and again to help parents learn from others what new challenges may arise with a second or subsequent children. Finding help in advance, considering housing and teamwork options for housework, laundry, cooking, food shopping and more could be promoted even with meetings at libraries or faith groups. Having more help with the basics could help people then pursue some loftier goals and mostly 'not feel alone' in their journey.

Learn early and often what the national Battered Mothers Custody Conference in NY has been clarifying for years. These advocates are true champions for the cause of All children being safe and protected in the face of terrible conflict and harm or as candidates to befall such a fate.

Let's not stay in the dark now that the case of the immigrants losing their children has awakened a hunger for justice in most of America. Don't stand idly by when courts may fail children. Find ways to proactively reach out to young families and others in one's community. Social workers and even schools could be instrumental in reforms. but often another level of grassroots advocacy is needed to shine a light on the need and become the safe haven every person deserves from abuse or neglect or poverty (yes that Elephant in the room no one talks about.)

. Thanks for considering these points and for finding ways to be accountable with where you are, who you are with and what 'approved activities' you choose to do. Make every day count and hopefully end on a good note... now good night.