A Bigger Timeline for Each of Your Family Members and Folks in Your LIfe..Jot Down on Paper Ages and How Old Now and In Five Year Increments (or less for younger folks who seem to grow a ton in the first 5 years, then slow but still keep hatching out)

 As much as we've tuned into thinking about the first days of the life of a fetus and realizing tremendous growth is happening as well as a bunch of stuff we don't quite understand (maybe even with the mom and dad if he's more than a donor, but even then enegetically the links may be more significant than accepted or understood as possibilities in terms of energetics links and influences as well as genetics unfolding and memory banks of cultures..and dare I offer the growing notion of the possibility of past lives?) Who chooses whom is a question like which came first, the chicken or the egg? Parents feel they consciously choose to carry a life once they know they are pregnant (which only half are planned, so likely many of us were not exactly 'on the calendar plans' at the start of our lives.) 

Well, after typing extensively about many insights about pregnancy and planning for a safe delivery either naturally or by C-section if that is needed (with some awareness that large babies may need that kind of delivery so to monitor or stay in touch with medical people and support people along issues of having a smooth landing, ideally with rest and ease the week before a delivery date and yes, awareness of some of the 'what ifs' but not to worry too much especially in our developed countries. None of what I say on this blog is to be taken as advice or counsel.)

But back to charting the calendar months and years of each little one's life. In a notebook jot down the year a child is born, and the ages of the parents, and family members such as siblings and maybe even grandparents or others such as close aunts and uncles who live nearby or who will be interested in your child's well-being. Think of the months in a babies life as a time to introduce them gradually to family and friends. There will be time and yes, time goes by fast after it sometimes plods along more slowly than if you were watching the clock (at all odd hours of the night even).  Putting a families ages and years on a page by listing the names of people on the left hand side or the paper, then the years in a row across the top will yield a chart of ages looking like a word find, but really its an 'age find' at a glance. You can also add a lower line in each box (maybe a second page makes sense but keep the age in the top part of each box) and add the Grade the child will be in, starting with daycare, and listing that for each child in one's family. What seems like years apart can slowly lookly closer in age when youth come into their middle school years then high school and onward. Once youth are about 12, they are likely 'up and running' with all sorts of friends, programs and even things they want to do beside school, faith groups and holidays.

Suddenly the calendar can put you on a path of 'first this, then that'. Days and weeks can fly by until vacations or sick days. There does not need to be a harried pace, yet again in America, good luck not finding oneself short on time to do not only what you need to do but what you want to do(or vice versa) with who you want to.. Spending time is a luxury not unlike spending money. The book Your Money or Your Liife (and Getting a Life which shows folks using the 9-step program) can help you accept that we sleep half of our lives away (along with basic maintenance). That's not really a bad thing, rather necessary and actually very profound for our species according to Chinese and Indian medicine..even first world countries are catching on to the notion that rest is best for our human kind (as is kindness to ourselves and others, and all that may be connected as well.) 

Now sharing time among family members say mom and child, father and child and yes, mom and dad themselves can be orchestrated to cover the basis and share the joy of living and having less personal time or even couple time. Then there may be others who want or need attention even if not a sibling, so try to do the math. Good luck if you do have a sibling join the ranks to do the new 'division of the already stretched time' into yet another dimension of fitting it all in. On the surface, nothing much changes but surprise, nothing's ever quite the same and that goes for the next one or two or more that join the family matrix. But after the transitions of adding people and adjusting to new programs and people (ideally not having to rear kids in isolated settings, but even there remember nature and a great love is rooting for you however you can allow yourself to tune into that and other resources like the radio, TV, computer and much more...books anyone, friends on the phone, naps and good eats, the news and studies of your choosing maybe on www.curiousity.com that's If you have computer access and childcare as needed to actually focus. Not fair, but that's the reality for many watching their own kids and maybe even another without much support, rides, good housing or much money for food and basics. Not quite the American Dream but most people go through various rude awakenings. It's tougher in the rural places often times, so getting toward a college-town or friendly larger town or city with walking options or even a wamer climate (even to visit) can help one reboot one's enthusiasm for making the months and years count as kids and parents 'grow together'.

If there  comes a time when you need to be apart from your child/ren, map it out on a calendar for yourself and them. If it's a longterm deal of dividing time for work, custody plans or other longer type issues, include not only when you will see your children on a regular basis (maybe with more libraries promoting Skype for this purpose or having your own way to video and send to your kids on emails as is appropriate after reviewing www.barrygoldstein.net who describes a rather serious situation that may require less contact with an abusive parent for the children and even the other spouse. Ideally more young people could learn the lay of the land of what the courts require (often varies in each state and is not often enforced but may be.) Try to have agreements about not letting legal battles win over your financial stability. Simple agreements to keep kids in schools and programs may work for most, but again this is not a legal advice stance. Try to consult with experts in domestic abuse first since many people do not even understand if they are in an abusive situation with one person controlling another to everyone's detriment. Look at what ages each family memberr will be in years to come and again think of ways to enhance each person's life, especially youth but also parents whether living together or apart (or some of each as may be happening for some even if trying it out or taking reasonable times for counseling separately and when safe, (according to DV experts) together. 

Review your own life story and that of your family as you can, whether when on the phone or marking special events, taking small trips or larger ones. What are each person's goals and dreams? What skills do they need to acquire or support people to see the next few months of their life through?

What about thinking about one's list of goals and retirement visions. How could one live backwards from their later years by mapping out what it would take to get from the present to then with gentle planning (and likely some saving which again is something to inquire about with the right folks and likely with more security than not.) Sites like www.aier.org and even more relaxed ideas shared by David Adelson on youtube can help you brave topics not often covered in schools or society.

Good luck keeping track of yourself and others you care about. Helping a school share such thoughts of 'what to do at each age to stay in touch with one's needs and be protected on all fronts to the best one can, whether having a health care representative (at age 16 or 18, etc), understanding legalities of being a parent (child support, working and provision needs and options even for adopting a child out if one is not sure or at least knowing infants under a month can be brought to a hospital ER and adopted out I believe as a big back up plan should some feel ambivalent even about having the child.This is where more community networks could help fill in gaps, as well as for people with other challenges, whether sudden loss of relationship, a loved one, getting an illness, facing declines due to age or other conditions in cognitive functioning.

See www.alz.org for aging and dementia concerns. More help for people 24/7 and 365 days a year are needed to fill gaps for people who need help but don't ask or don't know or accept it. A friendly approach can often help monitor someone (even a person who chooses to live outdoors, perhaps with community monitors whether paid or volunteer. This idea could help people during cold weather and maybe more could be encouraged to visit wamer climates with some support, inside or out. Still many can be at risk for harm from others or the elements or may not know how to care for themselves, so more support can be offered. Growing initiatives to help house people are being made on many fronts since that is a cost-saving and humane approach. Good luck to all  of us figuring these things out starting now and doing moreso in the future, collaboratively, sharing success stories and wisdom as it comes our way. Many thanks!