All of NY sees the Twin Beams at Night in Memory of 9/11/01, 15 years later

While fifteen years have passed since September 11th, 2001, for many the memories of 'where they were, and what was happening at the World Trade Center is still fresh in their minds' particularly as the anniversary of that date rolls around. The landmark dates of 5, 10, 15 and in 2021 of 20 years will all be ways to mark singular and our collective journeys. Today I was able to consider doing something with other people even though my energy was mainly feeling like staying low-key. By 3pm I had gotten some encouragement to explore New York where I was staying anyway.

The Mark Morris Dance Company was having an Open House until 5pm. I got there in time for the 4pm African dance class which had live drumming. About 40 dance enthusiast graced the studio, following warm ups of isolated body parts and then a few patterns across the floor. Soon we were putting about 8 steps together, loosening hips, feet, spine, arms and legs.

That about covers the body parts and the quick pace proved effective in helping us all sweat in case we were shy about that. Many smiling faces and folks (okay, mainly women but an enthusiastic dance teacher at a public school and a few other guys mixed into the crew too) ranging from about 10 to 55 or maybe older were on the dance floor.

Later I learned of an older graceful student who I will call Anna as being at the studio space when it opened a week before 9-11-01. They had had a gala to mark the new space and the day after 9-11 it was closed due to clean-up from their gala. But the next day, they held classes.

Anna had travelled to the studio from her apartment near Canal Street. That day after 9-11 she said the towers were still burning. She took one train the first day that was in operation but then the next day had to take another route as more of the site was closed down. She didn't know what to expect of Mark's class but felt it would be helpful to attend. He gave a gentle ballet class to help the dancers get grounded and back in their bodies.

The piece they were working on echoed the falling of the buildings for Anna and she found that experiencing standing then falling therapeutic in a way. The buidlings were not that far off from the view from where they were dancing. Mark's mother who has since died was watching and encouraging the dancers with her kind smile. She had been a positive support to Mark's dance career, Anna noted. Anna shared that her own parents who had means intentionally did not give her support since they did not value dance.

They did not give her an inheritance either thinking she would only 'waste it on trying to form a dance compancy.' Still, Anna had found a way to dance throughout her life and the encouragement from Mark's mother that day as a surrogate parental figure. She was delighted to be at the Open House and said I could share this aspect of her story which she had not likely told Mark about. Still there is time to reflect for any of us, and share as we may be able with another.

Other people took time to listen to my life journey which has had its ups and downs. I realize some people want to have a lot of it 'make more sense' than it does, or really to 'not overthink it and not try to see deeper meanings or bigger messages for society' in what happened regarding the loss of our teen son Kaelan or a dear older man I cared for who wandered. Those situations could use more reflection by many parts of society and maybe in New York there are enough people and programs that some thought can be given and shared.

The basics likely are out there in the world, but putting new good ideas in place can take time and practice on the part of many team players. Meanwhile in Washington DC there will be protests by Protective Mothers in front of the White House.

The Mothers of Lost Children (by Protective Mothers to Abusive and Dangerous Fathers) and Safe Child Coalition and other advocates are leading the way. The CA Protective Parents Alliance with spokepeople such as Connie Valentine are clearly well-informed and determined to get the message out.

Other more vulnerable mothers share their painful stories as large black and white banners proclaim the horrific news that in the past twenty years, One Million Children have been placed in dangerous Custody Situations, generally with abusive and dangerous fathers.

Every man should want to help decipher the bad news and see what Barry Goldstein, Lundy Bancroft, Mo Hannah and other key leaders have been saying Can Save Lives and Keep Children Safe and Together with their Protective Mothers. David Mandel does a lot as well with www.endingviolence.com. Other posts speak to this issue, yet it is a timely and important one to remember along with 9-11.

These are our most vulnerable citizens, and even if they are people of means, they are trapped and fighting for their lives and safety, not unlike those caught in the plot to destroy American values, lives and real estate. Where is the calvary for these children and brave women?

Other mothers need to find ways to comprehend this level of systemic injustice. Every librarian has a moral obligation to put key materials in place to allow more women insight into the dilemma they often face in isolating circumstances. Anti-bullying too often overlooks the pressing need to address domestic abuse. People blame victims, even victims blame themselves.

Sometimes that is a way to try to feel there is a way to eventually figure out what to do. Children go through a similar struggle, either taking the blame or blaming their maternal victim just to try to make sense of why a father acts controlling, intimidating and awful, if not violent or worse.

Sexual molestation of children and even their mothers can be the fate of some of the victims as well. Even if they tell, have proof and try to get legal protection. the judges and systems addressing these issues have their own way of denying or mishandling or doing the wrong or illegal thing and pin the blame on the victims (Did you see that coming?) That's the point, it's Not Logical, Not Just or Safe, but it is permissible from the doublespeak and cover-ups and lack of legislation and follow-up across the country.

The advocates in DC this fall will be asking for Judicial Oversight and Congressional Hearings to unearth the secrecy and raise possibilities for reform. Good luck finding time to learn about these critcal issues, particularly if you are woman, a mother or have close friends or family who may be at risk for harm in that arena. Everyone could take time to learn how to behave more responsbily and without controlling or demeaning others. Bullying is not cool.

That message has to be heard loud and clear, with people given protection from harm without delay. In NY state the issue of raising the age of the statute of limitations for reporting sexual abuse is in the news.

 From waht I read in The Daily News, the Catholic Church has been said to report that they'd be bankrupt if laws were to allow a year to review old cases or if the age limit to report was higher than age 23 as it is now. They have spent over a million dollars (or maybe 2 million I think) in blocking discussion. Not good.

As hard as it is to see that religion is not immune from wrongdoing, we have to face the music. The job of having children and keeping them safe should be much easier and supported than in the past, but clearly there is room for improvement. Many caring people working together likely can help mend much of the brokenness, one parent and child at a time. Not the easiest set of ideas to share on the 9-11 anniversary date, but the more we dare to care the more we can trust that things will improve. While some say 'society and people are as sick as their secrets' in the case of most abuse, there is no secret.

There just isn't any way to get away safely. How can that be in this modern era? Information online includes talks on Conscious Consumer Network with Geerte Frenken ("Hell is for Children", a rough title but trying to point out the reality far too many live with). A book by Gypsy Marie Roberts about Righteous Lawyers and Sex Trafficking is likely an important one to learn about as are those by Wendy Murphy, Barry Goldstein and Lundy Bancroft (such as Why Does he DO That?)

The tactics and broken systems are echoed from personal relationships to more corporate crime so everyone would benefit from the Wake Up Call. Climate Change will be the biggest bully yet, so we need to take the skills we learn in our times of struggle and help others join the growing efforts to bring common sense to the foreground. Another person I met said the loss of those on the planes, in the buildings and in 9-11 in general were a complete waste and heartbreaking.

She had just come out of the hospital the day before, and when seeing the tragedy unfold on TV she sat and cried heavily. So unfair and tragic for those families. She knows an mother who lost two  grown children, a son and a daughter, with well over a thousand people attending their service. One had a special needs child she is now raising.

These kinds of stories 'make it real and help us feel.' The woman reflecting on these losses felt too that it is not fair for others to come to this country and get hand-outs. She didn't feel young people or even those with young children should get substantial help since many elderly who worked need assistance with food (via SNAP or food stamps.)

Even if they are deemed over income, the cost of housing and such should be factored in. Unfortunately with many programs or realities, likely people are expected to take in a roommate. Many elderly may not want that, but we reviewed that for some the issue may be a symptom of mental health issues (isolating, depression, being skeptical or untrusting of others who could help them.)

Change can be hard for anyone, so likely planning and trying out options would be a helpful exercise. Still, being patient and having a small team to work with could ease the options. Back to noting the 9-11 dates and that there will be a service early in the morning with the Memorial Building open after 3pm. I met a minister who volunteers there regularly and has for 15 years.

There is a wave of new heroes keepng the lights on, letting others know we care and being a ready ear for those wanting to share or find out more about that pivotal event and the aftermath. Sunday services likely will include a moment of silence, maybe candles lit and a time for sharing thoughts and prayers. Feel free to use the comment space below to reflect as you feel led.

Every person and concern matters. The luxury of breathing calmly and connecting with others is a way to pave the future with good intentions and actions. May good things come to pass for each person tuning in or even just enjoying their lives. Being brave is part of living, working, playing and praying... so be brave and when you see another consider a wave or friendly look. The small kind exchanges add up, and yet play it safe with 'easy-does-it and good support." Goodnight on that note as the half moon glows bright on this 9-11 Eve.